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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

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nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,533
Bristol
Hello. I only joined today and already enjoy this forum very much. So many people that understand what you might be trying to say even if you can't quite find the right words. I am looking after a friend who has been diagnosed with vascular dementia about 4 years ago. She will be 101 next week and is a lovely person with a wicked sense of humour and we do laugh a lot. It does get very lonely at times on the bad days and it's so good to find a place where people might understand. It's so difficult to explain to ones that haven't been through anything similar and hearing 'cheer up' when i need to get something of my chest just doesn't cut it.
Welcome to TP, Szatisja. You will certainly find support and a good place to get anything off your chest. Just post on the "I care for someone with Dementia" forum when you are ready to start a thread.
Do you have any support groups near you which can give some more personal contact too ?
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20011/find_support_near_you?&_ga=2.251176070.1001751360.1519998619-604353012.1519998619#!/search or
https://carers.org/ will help to point you in the right direction.
 

Szaitisja

Registered User
Jul 28, 2018
134
Hertfordshire
Welcome to TP, Szatisja. You will certainly find support and a good place to get anything off your chest. Just post on the "I care for someone with Dementia" forum when you are ready to start a thread.



Thank you:) I am building up to starting a new thread, but it is a bit difficult as there are so many thoughts in my head i need to tidy them up a bit.
 

animal mad

New member
Jul 30, 2018
1
Hi I've joined today as my Mum has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia and I lost my Dad to Vascular dementia/Alzheimer's last year. Just feeling a bit lost and not sure how to handle this again.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,932
68
Dundee
Hi I've joined today as my Mum has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia and I lost my Dad to Vascular dementia/Alzheimer's last year. Just feeling a bit lost and not sure how to handle this again.
Hi and welcome to Talking Point.

I'm sorry to read about your mum but I'm glad you've found this forum. There's aways someone around to listen and support.

Have a look around the forum and see if you'd like to start your own thread. It can be somewhere to keep track of things and even have a bit of a rant if you want. Have a look at the I Care For A Person With Dementia area. You'll see what others have posted and if your want to make your own thread just click on the 'post new thread' button -

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/
 

Flutterby17

Registered User
Apr 23, 2017
20
Hi Everyone. My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 18 months ago. My mum died 9 months ago, leaving me as his main carer. I have 2 children aged 2 and 5 and work as a nurse! Some days I am awesome at all of those things and others, I feel like I'm losing my mind! Just looking to be amongst people who understand.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,250
N Ireland
Hi Everyone. My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 18 months ago. My mum died 9 months ago, leaving me as his main carer. I have 2 children aged 2 and 5 and work as a nurse! Some days I am awesome at all of those things and others, I feel like I'm losing my mind! Just looking to be amongst people who understand.
Hello and welcome to TP. You have come to the right place for understanding and the members of the forum are a supportive group.

Do have a good look around the site. A good place for info is the publications list that can be found here https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

To find support in your area you can do a post code search here https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

When you wish to ask questions you can post in this sub-forum https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,749
Kent
Hello, @Flutterby17 ...this is the right place for you. I am so sorry that you have so much to cope with and you have lost your mum when you are so young. To have your dad ill too is a bitter blow. You will find that the members here are really supportive.
 

pixie2

Registered User
Jul 21, 2018
39
My mom has just gone in a home. People tell me to go on holiday. I can't. I want to be with her. I love her. They don't understand
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,694
Yorkshire
hello @pixie2
a warm welcome to TP
sadly, there are many members here who also care about folk who now live in a care home, so you are among those who understand
maybe when you have settled into a routine of visiting and have gained confidence that the staff really are looking after and caring about your mum, you will feel able to have some time away - it is important to look after yourself too

maybe start a thread of your own so more members may see what ypu write and pop in to chat
maybe on this forum
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/
just hit the 'Post new thread' button at top right, give your thread a title that hints at your topic, and type away
 

Charlton Annie

Registered User
Aug 2, 2018
10
Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself. My Dad has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. It wasn’t a huge surprise and a bit of a relief to receive confirmation of what we’d suspected for a while. He lives at home with my mum who is partially-sighted. They’re both in their 80s. He has a carer to help with his early morning routine. They manage but it is a struggle because in truth they don’t have a particularly loving relationship and it often feels as if my mum has had enough of him! I encourage her to go to church and other social activities and we are trying out local friendship groups but sometimes I feel like more of a marriage guidance counsellor than a daughter! Anyway, it’s good to find a forum like this with lots of people in the same boat - I look forward to reading & sharing.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,932
68
Dundee
Good morning @Charlton Annie and welcome to Talking Point.

I'm glad you've found the forum and I'm sure you will find it a great support. Have a look round and get an idea of what discussions are on the go. You might decide you'd like to start your own thread. Just go to the I Care For A Person With Dementia area and click on the 'post new thread' button.

Looking forward to seeing you around.
 

Charlton Annie

Registered User
Aug 2, 2018
10
Good morning @Charlton Annie and welcome to Talking Point.

I'm glad you've found the forum and I'm sure you will find it a great support. Have a look round and get an idea of what discussions are on the go. You might decide you'd like to start your own thread. Just go to the I Care For A Person With Dementia area and click on the 'post new thread' button.

Looking forward to seeing you around.
Thank you, Izzy - it’s good to be here.
 

Steanoruk

New member
Aug 2, 2018
1
Hi. My mother in law has been suffering with Alzheimer’s for a while and is getting progressively worse. I am worried about how quickly things are changing. After spending a few weeks away with the family, I can see how much my father in law has to cope with in a daily basis. I want to be able to provide the right support for both of them.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,533
Bristol
Hi. My mother in law has been suffering with Alzheimer’s for a while and is getting progressively worse. I am worried about how quickly things are changing. After spending a few weeks away with the family, I can see how much my father in law has to cope with in a daily basis. I want to be able to provide the right support for both of them.
Welcome to TP, Steanoruk. From a carers perspective it is refreshing to see someone willing to help out. You will get plenty of good advice and support here.
Has your Mother in Law had a care needs assessment from Social Services? That, and a carers assessment for FiL should get them extra support like a day centre or carers coming in to help.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/alzheimers-disease and all the links will give you more information if you want it.
Best wishes and good luck to you.
 

Charlton Annie

Registered User
Aug 2, 2018
10
Hello @Charlton Annie, welcome to TP from me too.

There is a great thread that helps with the angst that can arise when communicating with a person with impaired memory and it can be found by following this link. It may be worth sharing it with your Mum QUOTE]

Thanks, Pete. I am trying to encourage Mum to avoid the confrontation and reassure him. However, after 60 years of marriage and an often difficult relationship, plus the fact that she has her own health issues, it’s often difficult for her to stay calm and patient. He has always been quite argumentative and confrontational and it’s therefore difficult sometimes to differentiate between the condition and the man! I am currently reading ‘Contented Dementia’ which I expect you’re aware of and finding that quite helpful.


Hello @Charlton Annie, welcome to TP from me too.

There is a great thread that helps with the angst that can arise when communicating with a person with impaired memory and it can be found by following this link. It may be worth sharing it with your Mum
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,250
N Ireland
Hi. My mother in law has been suffering with Alzheimer’s for a while and is getting progressively worse. I am worried about how quickly things are changing. After spending a few weeks away with the family, I can see how much my father in law has to cope with in a daily basis. I want to be able to provide the right support for both of them.
Hello and welcome to TP from me too.

It may be worth looking to see what support is available in your MiL's area to help you with this.

If you follow this link you can do a post code search https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
 

heeky

New member
Aug 2, 2018
2
Hello . My mum was diagnosed with dementia over 2 years ago and has been on anti depressants and donepezil since then. Most of the time she copes. My dad died in the last few weeks and understandably she has deteriorated, grief, stress etc. I am not sure if it is permanent or a temporary decline . ( I do realise she will continue to decline) the Dr has increased her meds but last time thsi happened she had terrible nightmares so we will have to see. I have two siblings . We all live far away. Between us we have sorted out gardening, meals etc . She is not getting any financial assistance and her last assessment deemed that she didnt need any help. She got lost going to a friends house the other day and she forgets everyhtign but writes it all in a diary to try and remember. Her writing and basic maths skills are declining. She is snappy and aggressive with some people and has taken a real dislike to my Aunt who lives near by and who sees her regularly. We have organised a rota for one of use to be there every weekend, but we all work so mid week she is alone. We have organised activities for her and she is supported by her local church-she has been a member for over 40 years. Not looking forward to the inevitable decline. Big hug everyone .
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,250
N Ireland
Hello @heeky, welcome to TP, I hope you find the forum to be a friendly, informative and supportive place.

Now that you have found us I hope you keep posting.

I thought it might be of some benefit to you to give you a link to do a search for support in your area and here it is https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

In Relation to communication breaking down, this thread may be helpful https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

In Relation to General Info the AS Publications list is a great place to peruse and that can be found with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
 
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