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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

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mickyg1000

Registered User
Apr 27, 2017
5
Hi, my name is Mike and my wife has Alzheimers. I am 75 and Diane is 73, she was diagnosed about 18 months ago but has been suffering memory problems prior to that. I find that I have had a steep learning curve about her illness and her condition (and moods) change daily. Looking to share experiences with others and get ideas on how to cope
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,054
Bristol
Welcome to TP, Mike. We can all identify with your post, sorry you've had such a hard learning curve with Dementia. Have you had a care needs assessment for your wife and carers assessment for yourself to help with any of the caring responsibilities. That would be my first advice if you have not already spoken to Social Services.
I hope you will start a thread in "I care for a person with Dementia" whenever you are ready to ask for anything specific or just let off steam.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,258
Yorkshire
hello @mickyg1000
sorry to read of your wife's diagnosis
but glad that you thought to come post here on TP - it's certainly a good place to share sympathy and experiences amongst folk who understand
 
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Helpless62

New member
Aug 10, 2018
7
Hello. I have rejoined things were tough three years ago and I joined to access hope and advice. I did not use the forum much it was mainly b3cause my mum was driving me insane. Well mum has gone into a care home about 3 months ago she is 95 with vascular dementia and blindness and a load of other problems. FIl has also got Vascular D and blindness but he can walk just aged 89 and MIL is now at end stage Alzheimers Mil and Fil live 70 miles away so the last 4 years and more have been “a journey “ as they say. I have already posted on the end of life forum
 

Linny52

New member
Aug 9, 2018
7
Hi, my mum was diagnosed with dementia yesterday. I first managed to persuade her to see a doctor last September and it has taken until now for a diagnosis, but, the doctor only said dementia and didn't say which type. My mum isn't concerned, she doesn't think there is much wrong only she forgets sometimes, but I think I would like to know, I'm not sure if this is normal or am I being too fussy, wasn't sure if the doctors don't actually mention the words alzheimer's etc to the patient.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,635
N Ireland
Hi, my mum was diagnosed with dementia yesterday. I first managed to persuade her to see a doctor last September and it has taken until now for a diagnosis, but, the doctor only said dementia and didn't say which type. My mum isn't concerned, she doesn't think there is much wrong only she forgets sometimes, but I think I would like to know, I'm not sure if this is normal or am I being too fussy, wasn't sure if the doctors don't actually mention the words alzheimer's etc to the patient.
Hello and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for information and support.

The trouble with a dementia diagnosis is that it's impossible to be definitive about the underlying disease until a brain is examined post mortem. Having said that, due to some differences that tend to appear in the early stages it's often possible to make an educated guess, although there can be considerable overlap and no two people are the same. There is an AS Factsheet about the issue and you can find it with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites/default/files/migrate/downloads/what_is_dementia.pdf

You can see the full publications list here https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

As to talking to your mum about things there is a great thread with a lot of tips that can be found here https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,832
leicester
Hello @Linny52 welcome to TP, I’m sure you will find help and support here on the forum
When my husband was diagnosed he wasn’t told anything, so I think it’s not unusual
Have you got LPA for your Mum? if so you maybe able to find out more from the doctor without upsetting your Mum
I am posting the link to the Alzheimer’s society fact sheets if would like to have a read
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
 

Linny52

New member
Aug 9, 2018
7
Thank you nellbells,and karaokepete, for your advice and the links to the fact sheets. I have seen the compassionate communication and do try to follow that, although it is hard sometimes. I will try talking to the nurse next time I speak to her hopefully she may help thank you again it certainly helps to even just write it down on here.
 

Chris59

New member
Aug 11, 2018
8
Thanks for the friendly welcome. However, I feel a bit of a fraud now, since the majority of you seem to be doing the hard graft of caring and I 've got it easy looking in an doing it from afar. Will post more later.
garfield3 I'm also "doing it from afar". My Mum lives in Norfolk with my step Dad, I live in Spain, my sister lives in USA. Other family members have responded to crisis situations whilst I visit 3 times a year. I'm constantly feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough, worrying what everyone else is thinking of me!
 

Chris59

New member
Aug 11, 2018
8
Hi, we've been aware of my Mum's Alzheimer's for about 4 years now. I moved to Spain 7 years ago so I visit my Mum 3 times a year. My sister lives in USA and visits my Mum for long stays, last one was for 2 months. My Mum lives at home with her husband, my step dad, who is older than her.He has his own health issues including hearing difficulties. We have set up daily home help visits to help my Mum with personal care and meal preparation. Her husband is not capable as My Mum was always the "carer" to him and his daughters, so he's only had experience of being looked after, not the other way around. I feel increasingly guilty that I'm not doing enough and now there's another crisis and my step dad's family have stepped up. I'm looking for advice on how to get proffesional input into what is the best care plan to put in place for my Mum so I will post in the proper forum as this is meant to be introduction!
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,749
Kent
Hi, we've been aware of my Mum's Alzheimer's for about 4 years now. I moved to Spain 7 years ago so I visit my Mum 3 times a year. My sister lives in USA and visits my Mum for long stays, last one was for 2 months. My Mum lives at home with her husband, my step dad, who is older than her.He has his own health issues including hearing difficulties. We have set up daily home help visits to help my Mum with personal care and meal preparation. Her husband is not capable as My Mum was always the "carer" to him and his daughters, so he's only had experience of being looked after, not the other way around. I feel increasingly guilty that I'm not doing enough and now there's another crisis and my step dad's family have stepped up. I'm looking for advice on how to get proffesional input into what is the best care plan to put in place for my Mum so I will post in the proper forum as this is meant to be introduction!
I have replied to you on your thread ...but no worries. It doesn’t matter too much where you post! It is easier if you have specific queries on a thread as you will have all the replies in one place, for reference.
 

Debj

New member
Aug 11, 2018
3
My Mum has Alzheimer's. It went undiagnosed for a long time and now appears to be middle stage. I've done my best to care for her but live some distance away but it's getting too much physically and emotionally so found your forum for advice and support.
 

midgit

New member
Aug 13, 2018
4
Hi everyone. I'm so happy to find this site, as most sites seem to be aimed at dementia patient's carers and nothing for the patients themselves. I have done another post but I think I got a bit mixed up and posted it on the wrong page. Anyway, Hello to you all and I look forward to reading the posts on here.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,635
N Ireland
Hello @midgit, welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum a friendly, informative and supportive place.

Now that you have found us please have a good look around the site and feel free to ask questions or join in any existing discussions.
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,605
Merseyside
Hi everyone. I'm so happy to find this site, as most sites seem to be aimed at dementia patient's carers and nothing for the patients themselves. I have done another post but I think I got a bit mixed up and posted it on the wrong page. Anyway, Hello to you all and I look forward to reading the posts on here.
I’ve already replied to your thread. I’ll move it to the right section & you'll find it here.
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/concerns-from-the-another-angle.110956/
 

Cutie

New member
Aug 13, 2018
1
I v joined this group as me and my daughter are struggling with my mum her nan. After 5 years mainly in hospital. Hip replacement went wrong. Full leg amputation 15 months ago. Now vascular dementia. Mum is in a care home now. Got some counselling today off a fantastic lady from dementia group at our local hospital.
 
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