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Welcome to Talking Point - introduce yourself here

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Cutie

New member
Aug 13, 2018
1
I v joined this group as me and my daughter are struggling with my mum her nan. After 5 years mainly in hospital. Hip replacement went wrong. Full leg amputation 15 months ago. Now vascular dementia. Mum is in a care home now. Got some counselling today off a fantastic lady from dementia group at our local hospital.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,039
68
Dundee
I v joined this group as me and my daughter are struggling with my mum her nan. After 5 years mainly in hospital. Hip replacement went wrong. Full leg amputation 15 months ago. Now vascular dementia. Mum is in a care home now. Got some counselling today off a fantastic lady from dementia group at our local hospital.
Hello and welcome to Talking Point.

I'm so sorry to read about your mum. It's good that you have had useful support from your counselling session. I'm sure you'll find this forum helpful as well.

Have a look around and see what you can find in the different threads. When you're ready you might want to start a thread of your own in the I Care For A Person With Dementia area of the forum. You could use it to ask questions, raise concerns, share experiences or indeed just have a rant if you want to. There will always be someone around to listen.

If you want to do that this is the link -

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/

Just click on that and you will be able to start a thread by clicking on the button at the top of the screen.
 

BlimeyNora

Registered User
Jan 14, 2017
2
Hi all I I have joined as I am stressing with my nearly 80 year old mum, who has been diagnosed with Dementia. I have 2 older brothers, but I am the one that is seemily taking care of my mum. She still lives in her own home. She is on the waiting list for her 2nd hip replacement, consultants have asked her to give an address to which she can return to after the op. Please don't judge me, but I seriously cannot have her here in my home!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,630
South coast
Hello @BlimeyNora and welcome to Talking Point

No-one will judge you here, not everyone is able to have someone with dementia come and live with them. There will be a lot of emotional pressure on you, though, so you will have to be quite firm about it. It is very common for families to leave caring responsibilities to just one member of the family.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,264
N Ireland
Hello @BlimeyNora, welcome to TP from me too. I hope you find the forum to be a supportive place.

I would be firm with the hospital about your mum's discharge as they will let you take on the full time care if you let them. I would talk to any Social Worker at the hospital or your Local Authority about putting a care package in place as it is they who have the legal duty towards a vulnerable adult(use these terms with them).

If it would help you, don't be afraid to talk to the experts on the AS help line about the process. Help line details are
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm

Apart from that, now that you have found us do keep posting as we are a friendly mutual support forum.
 

BlimeyNora

Registered User
Jan 14, 2017
2
Hello @BlimeyNora and welcome to Talking Point

No-one will judge you here, not everyone is able to have someone with dementia come and live with them. There will be a lot of emotional pressure on you, though, so you will have to be quite firm about it. It is very common for families to leave caring responsibilities to just one member of the family.
Hello @BlimeyNora and welcome to Talking Point

No-one will judge you here, not everyone is able to have someone with dementia come and live with them. There will be a lot of emotional pressure on you, though, so you will have to be quite firm about it. It is very common for families to leave caring responsibilities to just one member of the family.
Hi @canary Thank you. I assume as being the only daughter, it's easier to leave it to me. I have never classed myself as a 'carer' but I had the OT visit my mum and she said that you provide the care. Need to find out if there is somewhere that my mum can stay after the op. Dr said ask OT. Ot said ask hospital..
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,264
N Ireland
Hi @canary Thank you. I assume as being the only daughter, it's easier to leave it to me. I have never classed myself as a 'carer' but I had the OT visit my mum and she said that you provide the care. Need to find out if there is somewhere that my mum can stay after the op. Dr said ask OT. Ot said ask hospital..
Hello again, I wonder if you've taken a glance at my two replies to your first post as you may get some guidance that will stop the run around that you are getting from the hospital/OT. It's so unfair that we are put under pressure at such times but the help line has been found to be very useful by a lot of members.

I hope things work out for both you and your mum.
 
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Derri234

New member
Aug 16, 2018
1
Hi joined this forum today and have to say this is the first forum I have every joined. Mum was diagnosed with mixed dementia just about a year ago and her decline is rapid. The intelligent, ambitous, strong woman is a shadow of her former self. She is scared, anxious and confused most of the time. She is unable to tell the time, regardless of type of clocks we buy, cooking or heating food is a no no, phones at least 6 times each day anxious or confused, will only go as far as the local shop without company, can not follow tv programmes and much more. My mum worked in an elderly care home for many years and at times knows what is ahead of her. We are now at a point that we have to consider care homes for mums own safey and for her quality of life. This I know she will find difficulty, just as I am but think it is the best quality of care we can give as she lives alone.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,264
N Ireland
Hello @Derri234, welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum a supportive place.

You will be able to glean a lot of info by reading or participating in threads but may also find the publications list useful. You can locate that with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

In the list you will see a Factsheet about apathy, depression and anxiety which you may find useful as these are common issues in people with dementia.

You can also check for support in your area by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

Best of luck to you and your mum.
 

Wicey

New member
Aug 16, 2018
3
Greetings to everyone here! I posted a 'help' message before even saying hello so apologies! Mom moved in with me full time just a week ago. I have looked after her for short periods for the past four years but my sibling could no longer manage and so .. it's now over to me. Mom is at relatively early stages in her diagnosis and so, for now, I'm happy to look after her with available support and resources. It's a steep learning curve in terms of understanding Mom's condition and the various difficulties but my coping mantra is ... Mom is so much more than the Alzheimer's.
 
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