Say hello and introduce yourself

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Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
7,379
0
Salford
Well, what can I say other than hello pand welcome. Come in sit down and pull up a chair...as the song goes. K
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
5,008
0
Hello @DiiS and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum, this is a friendly place where people understand and are supportive. We have some other members here from Australia too. You have had such a lot going on, and I'm sorry to hear about the recent loss of your dog Molly too, such a difficult thing to have to go through. I hope that now you have found us you won't feel so alone as there is always someone here to listen.
 

lindsay Gaven

New member
Mar 16, 2024
1
0
Hello, my mum was diagnosed with Alziemers 2 years ago , she takes medication daily a form of mood lifter during the day and a mementine tablet at night , he lives with my dad they have been together for 47 years , over the past month she has started to think he is someone else and is having a real go at him, trying to throw him out the house , she is telling him most of his clothes arnt his and he needs to leave them amd get packed and leave the house . Last week she started to push him and scream at him and she has started swearing at him and telling him to leave . This goes on to the early hours. When I call or go to the house she calls us all liars and yesterday she took off out the house for a walk to clear her head . She is quite angry and aggressive and controlling every aspect of my dad's life . Has anyone else experienced this she remembers everyone else she is just convinced that dad is someone else and this is becoming most of the day now when they are alone . Any help or advice welcome 🙏
 

MariD

Registered User
Mar 16, 2024
10
0
Hello, I'm Mari. My mother in law has always been agony to deal with. If everyone doesn't immediately do exactly what she wants, she will yell in a very deep voice and become very spiteful and aggressive. We have tolated it out of moral obligation for nearly 30 years. We always thought we'd find a way to deal with it. She's crafty too snd doesn't usually do it when other people are around. She calls incessantly demanding we visit. We have reduced our vists to once a month. She always becomes very aggressive. She is 94 now and is getting even worse. There are times when i worry that her excessive pressure and abuse will give me a nervous breakdown. My husband has already had one. She has no idea that she is causing such severe distress. When confronted, she says we are far too selfish and sensitive. We haven't talked to her for 5 days as our last visit was so traumatic. She has called 17 times in a week, sent dozens of emails and got freinds and family to call us to tell us to contact her. Last time we avoided her for a week, she asked the police to call on us! There are no other family members, other than her son who lives abroad. We today let him know we cant deal with it for a while.
 

RuthK49

New member
Mar 20, 2024
5
0
HI
My Mum passed away in Jan 24 and I am now caring for my 85 year old father who has dementia. Its been a very steep learning curve and I worry about him a lot. He is so lovely and doesn't really understand about all the changes that are happening.
It's nice to know that there are other people out there with similar challenges.
 

Spottydog

Registered User
Dec 8, 2023
193
0
HI
My Mum passed away in Jan 24 and I am now caring for my 85 year old father who has dementia. Its been a very steep learning curve and I worry about him a lot. He is so lovely and doesn't really understand about all the changes that are happening.
It's nice to know that there are other people out there with similar challenges.
I do feel for you. I lost my mum then took on looking after my dad. It's hard enough losing your mum without having the worry of keeping your dad on the straight and narrow. You will find a lot of sympathy and support here. Make sure you take time to look after yourself and your wellbeing as well as your dads.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,493
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @RuthK49.
First of all sorry for the loss of your mother. Often when one parent dies the family discover just how much support they were giving to the other parent.
This is a very friendly and supportive place and there will always be someone around if you have a query or just want to chat. When you're ready you might want to start your own thread in the I care for a person with dementia forum.
 

Tired Teacher

New member
Mar 19, 2024
5
0
HI, I'm new to this group, and really struggling at the moment. My dad has Parkinsons with Lewy Body Dementia and lived at home until a bout of Pneumonia sent him to the hospital. Care in the hospital and enablement unit were so poor, dad has gone from being fully mobile and continent, to bed bound and incontinent. We made the traumatic decision to put him into a care home, and he fell twice within 4 days of being there, breaking his hip and going back to hospital. The care home admitted fault and self-reported to the CQC. We were told dad would be unlikely to survive the operation, but he is a fighter and has made it through that and several other infections due to aspiration, and is currently undergoing treatment for C-DIFF. He is currently isolated due to the infection, and when I visited this evening (with PPE) he was very agitated and wanted to get up, but he is being kept in bed for most of the time with the bed rails up. He is at very high risk of falls and I know the care home are trying to keep him safe, but it is devastating to see him so desperate to get up, and not be able to take him home. No two days are the same, and some days he looks so close to the end, while others he is wide awake and laughing. The care home are kind and supportive, but it's impossible to know when the end is near, and I have a constant fear and guilt that I won't be there when he needs me, but also aware that I am struggling with a family and full time job at the same time. Does anyone else feel that they can't think about anything else? When I look at dad I also see myself and it's the strangest feeling (we look alike). Work is also very overwhelming and I am in constant fight or flight mode, worrying about what will happen next, and whether he is suffering. Other people I know who are going through something similar seem to be coping so much better, and I don't know why i can't just pull myself together. Hoping this group will give me some peace x
 

Spottydog

Registered User
Dec 8, 2023
193
0
HI, I'm new to this group, and really struggling at the moment. My dad has Parkinsons with Lewy Body Dementia and lived at home until a bout of Pneumonia sent him to the hospital. Care in the hospital and enablement unit were so poor, dad has gone from being fully mobile and continent, to bed bound and incontinent. We made the traumatic decision to put him into a care home, and he fell twice within 4 days of being there, breaking his hip and going back to hospital. The care home admitted fault and self-reported to the CQC. We were told dad would be unlikely to survive the operation, but he is a fighter and has made it through that and several other infections due to aspiration, and is currently undergoing treatment for C-DIFF. He is currently isolated due to the infection, and when I visited this evening (with PPE) he was very agitated and wanted to get up, but he is being kept in bed for most of the time with the bed rails up. He is at very high risk of falls and I know the care home are trying to keep him safe, but it is devastating to see him so desperate to get up, and not be able to take him home. No two days are the same, and some days he looks so close to the end, while others he is wide awake and laughing. The care home are kind and supportive, but it's impossible to know when the end is near, and I have a constant fear and guilt that I won't be there when he needs me, but also aware that I am struggling with a family and full time job at the same time. Does anyone else feel that they can't think about anything else? When I look at dad I also see myself and it's the strangest feeling (we look alike). Work is also very overwhelming and I am in constant fight or flight mode, worrying about what will happen next, and whether he is suffering. Other people I know who are going through something similar seem to be coping so much better, and I don't know why i can't just pull myself together. Hoping this group will give me some peace x
Oh my goodness, you have so much on your plate. From what you have shared I think you are doing amazingly well. Living through this is like constantly treading water... Just keep trying your best, that's all you can do x
 
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