Wow, people on here are truly going through the ringer; I’m so glad I’ve found you all!
Your stories are heartbreaking but I feel the connection everybody has through the recognition and understanding of what we’re all experiencing.
I’m wondering if anybody is experiencing the same as I am with my mother who appears quite switched on so far as her memory goes and even her conversation can be quite normal. However, she is convinced that everyone in the care home hates her, calls her horrendous names and that the carers don’t like her, thinks she’s a nuisance and that she has to do as she’s told (like she’s in prison). She has limited mobility (that’s why she went into the home originally) has to ask to be taken to the toilet, is helped in and out of bed and to get ready in the morning and undressed at nighttime. The staff are really good with mum; she can stay in her room if she wants to, she can get up and go to bed when she wants to but in mum’s eyes she can’t; she’s imprisoned and has to do what she’s told…her opening line is always..I’m not allowed..
We can be sitting having a normal conversation and then she’ll say…they are listening through the floorboards you know..or she’s not who she says she is..they’ve planted her here to spy on me..she says the carers have told her it’s not all about her and that she can’t drink too much because they will be angry with her for asking to go to the toilet..the carers are in fact lovely and I know they have a soft spot for mum..she’s a little old lady in a chair, doesn’t communicate with anybody, is not loud or demanding in any way, in fact no trouble at all.
I suppose I’m asking advise on how I should handle mum, what to say to her when she’s obviously upset about not being liked and begging me to take her home. I have tried to reason with her as I couldn’t bear having her believe all the horrible things she thinks other people feel about her but we both get upset because she says I don’t believe her. I explain that she hasn’t the money for full time care at home but she thinks she has…
It’s getting to the stage now where I dread going to see her; I live a 3 hour round trip away, visit once a week and stay with her for 3-4 hours but when it’s time to leave she gets upset and says I haven’t stayed very long…my brothers live locally and visit together once a week too for about an hour.
It’s hard to say this but because she’s not totally consumed yet by the disease I feel that she is being tortured.
I am so sorry for the long post; it’s hard to put down in a few words what’s going on and even now I’m just scratching the surface!
I wonder if there’s anybody here who’s experiencing the same stage of the disease and share how they are feeling and dealing with it…