Say hello and introduce yourself

[HarrietD]

Welcome to Dementia Support Forum

However you have been affected by dementia, our community is a place to get support from others.

Say hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteers and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

This thread is for you to say hello and tell us a little bit about yourself, and your connection to dementia.

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

How to use the community

To post a new thread:

1. Click here to see the list of forums on the homepage. Under 'Support from other members' you'll find a list of different areas of the community. Choose the one which seems most relevant to you or your question.
2. Click on the yellow button that says 'Post thread'.
3. Type in a title and then write your message in the text box. Once you've done that, click on the yellow button that says 'Post thread'. Other members will now be able to reply to you

Any questions?

If you have any questions, you can email us on DementiaSupportForum@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

 

[Patrick’s]

Hello
My name is Joan and I am a full time carer for my husband

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Patrick’s.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It’s hard being a full time carer. Now that you’ve introduced yourself you might want to consider starting your own thread in the I Have A Partner With Dementia area of the forum. I’m sure you’ll find lots of support and understanding.

I have a partner with dementia

This forum is for people with a partner or spouse with dementia.

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[AllisonW]

Hello there.

I am new to this forum. We are dealing with an elderly parent who has had alzheimers for 10 years, but is now only just showing signs of it. He lives alone, and my husband and I are the only people who go over twice a week. But his mental capacity appears to have changed. And we are at our whit's end. I have posted a thread explaining it, but we are emotionally drained by the whole thing. I'm sure many out there feel the same. we could just do with some guidance on what to do and where to turn really.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @alisonw

Have you had a carers assessment? If not, that’s the way to go. It will get you on the books of social services and then you will be able to ask for support

Carer's assessments - Social care and support guide

See if you can get support from your council, such as extra money or a break from caring.

www.nhs.uk

 

[AllisonW]

Hello @alisonw

Have you had a carers assessment? If not, that’s the way to go. It will get you on the books of social services and then you will be able to ask for support

Hi. I will look into it, but we have asked for help from social services and they said they can provide a cleaner.

 

[AllisonW]

I have just looked into it. THankyou - this does seem like what we need for our sake.

 

[Grannie G]

Oh dear! It sounds as if social services is prepared to fund a cleaner at face value without a formal assessment

Do you know your parent is entitled to Attendance Allowance and if they live alone will not have to pay council tax?

 

[Richard T]

Hi. I've just joined this forum. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year, though she began showing signs of it several years before. Mum's been in a gradual but increasingly obvious decline for a few years. Recently she had the vomiting bug and then had a fall nearly two weeks ago and badly fractured her right wrist (She's right-handed). Since those two events her mental state nosedived and after spending ten days providing round the clock care for my mum, single handed, except for a few domiciliary care visits, I managed, at great expense (I have LPA already, so it's okay) to get two weeks respite care for her in a local care home. I'm now figuring out what to do next.
Hopefully Mum will recover most or all of the mental faculties she had at the start of the year and will be able to move back into her house. The situation is complicated because my sister does missionary work in Africa, but sees Mum's house in Cornwall as her home when she's back in the UK. She's due to come back next week so will be able to help with the care if and when Mum gets back home. I was slow to wake up to the reality of Mum's dementia. My sister seems slower still, but I hope she now finally recognises the gravity of the situation.

 

[Gosling]

Hello @Richard T and firstly welcome to this supportive and friendly forum. Members here really do want to help, and will be happy to give suggestions or advice.
I am sorry to read about your Mother. It is not uncommon to be a bit slow to 'wake up to the reality' as you say, so don't feel bad about that.
Going forward, I suggest you will have to see and evaluate how she is as and when she is able to move back to her home. I hope that she does recover as she was, but you should be prepared that she may not... it does sometimes happen so I am only saying this so you are prepared.
But yes, you, and your sister when she returns, will have to see how your Mother is and what care and support she needs. And in the medium to longer term, it may be a good idea to think about the possibility of residential care for when that time may come. Alzheimer's is a progressive disease, as I'm sure you know, so now is the best your Mum will be. So do cherish the good times , the smiles, etc as they happen.
Please remember you will always find understanding and a listening ear here.

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome from me too @Richard T

It`s good your sister will be home next week. She will get the hands on reality of the state of your mothers health much more accurately than she has now and hopefully you will be able to decide together on the best option.

Whether or not your mother regains what she lost during treatment for her vomiting bug and broken wrist is a waiting game.

 

[Shirleyblue]

Hello everyone.
I’m a full time carer to my husband who was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s in December. Then, wham! Within 3 weeks he’s had a diagnosis of bladder cancer. Although I’ve been looking for weeks and reading the vast amount of information and accounts of how other carers and the people who are living with dementia are remarkably managing their individual lives. I’ve just managed to begin to navigate this site. This place has become my refuge at the end of the day. It’s a constant reminder that I’m not as alone as I sometimes believe I am.

I would like to ask a question about self funded care. Do I start a new thread?
Thanks in advance.

 

[Gosling]

Hello @Shirleyblue and I am sorry to read of your husband's two very recent diagnoses. That's tough for sure to have to deal with. As you say, you are never alone on this forum, and members here really understand and want to help.
You may want to start a new thread in the following section about funding for care:

Legal and financial issues

This forum is a place to discuss personal experiences in relation to financial, legal and benefits issues. Legal or financial information posted in an advisory capacity, or to promote goods or services, will be removed.

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Shirleyblue

You’ve had a double blow and I'm so sorry you have to face so much so quickly

You will be better starting your own thread. The best section for enquiries about funded care would be in the legal and financial section.

However if you are considering a long running thread and keeping all your replies in one place the perhaps I have a partner with dementia might be better. It`s a bit of a minefield I know when you first come to the forum but you’ll soon get the hang of it and hopefully get the information and support you need

 

[Richard T]

Hello @Richard T and firstly welcome to this supportive and friendly forum. Members here really do want to help, and will be happy to give suggestions or advice.
I am sorry to read about your Mother. It is not uncommon to be a bit slow to 'wake up to the reality' as you say, so don't feel bad about that.
Going forward, I suggest you will have to see and evaluate how she is as and when she is able to move back to her home. I hope that she does recover as she was, but you should be prepared that she may not... it does sometimes happen so I am only saying this so you are prepared.
But yes, you, and your sister when she returns, will have to see how your Mother is and what care and support she needs. And in the medium to longer term, it may be a good idea to think about the possibility of residential care for when that time may come. Alzheimer's is a progressive disease, as I'm sure you know, so now is the best your Mum will be. So do cherish the good times , the smiles, etc as they happen.
Please remember you will always find understanding and a listening ear here.

Thank you @Gosling for your helpful reply. Indeed I am considering residential care at some point in the future as it's likely to become the only viable option. There are a few things I'm looking at to make Mum's home safer (stairlift, walk-in shower etc) if she recovers enough to get back home, which I'm cautiously optimistic she will. As a friend of mine pointed out to me today, this spell of respite care may be of benefit to Mum. If she finds it tolerably comfortable spending a few weeks in a care home, she may not view living out her final years in one with so much dread.

 

[Richard T]

Welcome from me too @Richard T

It`s good your sister will be home next week. She will get the hands on reality of the state of your mothers health much more accurately than she has now and hopefully you will be able to decide together on the best option.

Whether or not your mother regains what she lost during treatment for her vomiting bug and broken wrist is a waiting game.

Thanks @Grannie G

Yep, I'm looking forward to my sister being back soon. I don't always get on too well with her (you know what siblings can be like), but hopefully we'll find common cause in working out what's best for Mum now things have come to a head.

 

[Rachamos]

Hi I’m Rachael my sister and I care for our mum who was diagnosed with vascular dementia 18 months ago.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hi I’m Rachael my sister and I care for our mum who was diagnosed with vascular dementia 18 months ago.

Hello Rachael / @Rachamos and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. You will find lots of help, support and empathy from our members. You might find it useful to start a thread on our - I care for a person with dementia - area, there you can ask questions, talk about how you are managing with your mum's care or just let off steam. I have attached a link below.

I care for a person with dementia

This forum is for people who are involved in the care of a person with dementia.

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Shirleyblue]

Welcome @Shirleyblue

You’ve had a double blow and I'm so sorry you have to face so much so quickly

You will be better starting your own thread. The best section for enquiries about funded care would be in the legal and financial section.

However if you are considering a long running thread and keeping all your replies in one place the perhaps I have a partner with dementia might be better. It`s a bit of a minefield I know when you first come to the forum but you’ll soon get the hang of it and hopefully get the information and support you need

 

[Shirleyblue]

Thank you for your advice. He goes in for surgery tomorrow so I’ll try to put a post together.