Say hello and introduce yourself

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LegWarmers

New member
Jun 2, 2024
1
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Welcome to Dementia Support Forum :)

However you have been affected by dementia, our community is a place to get support from others.

Say hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteers and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

This thread is for you to say hello and tell us a little bit about yourself, and your connection to dementia.

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

How to use the community

To post a new thread:
list of forums on the homepage. Under 'Support from other members' you'll find a list of different areas of the community. Choose the one which seems most relevant to you or your question.
  1. Click on the yellow button that says 'Post thread'.
  2. Type in a title and then write your message in the text box. Once you've done that, click on the yellow button that says 'Post thread'. Other members will now be able to repl
Howdy Everybody 🤠

I’m caring for my mum.

I hope everybody is doing okay today and the person you are caring for is also doing okay. If it’s not a great day, let’s hope it’s a ‘I’m coping day.’ as sometimes that’s as good as it gets. I look forward to getting to know y’all, learning, sharing and caring. Laughing and having some fun.

I‘ll go and read through the posts and see what’s happening in the carer’s collective.

Peace, Love and Laughter 🙏🏾 💚 😂
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,417
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to the forum @LegWarmers

I’m sorry to read it’s not a good day. I know what’s that like!
We’re all here to help you cope with the bad days and celebrate the better ones. Looking forward to hearing from you 🙂
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
4,321
0
Kent
Howdy Everybody 🤠

I’m caring for my mum.

I hope everybody is doing okay today and the person you are caring for is also doing okay. If it’s not a great day, let’s hope it’s a ‘I’m coping day.’ as sometimes that’s as good as it gets. I look forward to getting to know y’all, learning, sharing and caring. Laughing and having some fun.

I‘ll go and read through the posts and see what’s happening in the carer’s collective.

Peace, Love and Laughter 🙏🏾 💚 😂
Hi @LegWarmers
Welcome to this forum.
Today, as with many days, the ordinary things of caring for my OH have pushed in front of the things on my little "to do" list. Such is life.
If I can't be the reason someone else smiles today, then I'll try and find something today that'll make me smile if I can (and whilst I still have my teeth!).
 

Nicole_Ru

New member
Jun 2, 2024
1
0
Hello,
Great to be part of this forum. My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 8 months ago. She also had bowel cancer 3 years ago, so has a stoma bag. To begin with the doctor diagnosed her as being depressed, so she also takes antidepressants. My challenge is that I live 2 hours from my mum, I’ve arranged a carer to visit a couple of times a week, and I manage my mum’s life entirely- I call her every morning to talk her through her daily schedule. And she has a couple of great friends that support. She is happy- the antidepressants really help, and she does take Donepezil . I visit every other week. But it isn’t enough. I fear I’m burying my head in the sand. That she is hiding how much worse she is getting. I also feel incredibly guilty that I don’t live with her. Or nearer her. It’s so hard.

I’ve joined this forum as it’s great to have a place to speak to people who understand.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
75,841
0
73
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Nicole_Ru.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It must be hard for you not living near to her.

I think it might be time for her to have more that a couple of care visits a week. Has she had an assessment of needs?


I’m glad you’ve found this forum. I’m sure you will find lots of support and understanding here.
 

Gosling

Volunteer Host
Aug 2, 2022
2,165
0
South West UK
Hello @Nicole_Ru and firstly welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. There is a wealth of shared experience of dementia here so I am glad you have found us.

I am sorry to read about your Mum, and her health issues. By the sounds of it, you are doing extremely well in organising care at home and your daily phone calls, and once a fortnight visits etc etc. Well done you. It is not at all easy knowing exactly what is going on from a distance. What @Izzy has suggested is a very good idea indeed.
On a practical note - Lasting Power of attorney - you would be wise to get this sorted soonest for both the health and welfare one, and the property and financial one, as this will make things easier further down the track. With this disease, now is the best your Mum will be.
Please do have a good look around the forums and ask any particular questions you may like to - you'll always find understanding here from people that really do want to help.
 

SusieJ95

New member
Jun 2, 2024
1
0
Hello 👋
I'm Sue and I've joined for support and information.
My parents are both 82, Mum has Alzheimers and has been cared for in a nursing home (20 mins away by car... which may be close for some, but we're used to living next door to each other for 26+ years) since Feb 24, and my dad has vascular dementia... he lives at home (next door to me) and is still very active and relatively independent.
I'm currently struggling with seeing my mum's (what seems to be rapid) deterioration (she can no longer stand, sit, feed herself, and her speech can be non-existent... she has also started not replying to conversations and will turn away, so I thought I'd join so I feel a little less alone and overwhelmed.
Thank you 😊
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
75,841
0
73
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @SusieJ95.

I’m so sorry to hear about your parents. It must be hard for you.

I’m glad you’ve found this forum and I hope that the support and understanding you find here will help you feel less alone.
 

Sam77

New member
Jun 3, 2024
1
0
Hello everyone,

My 81 year old mother, who lives alone, was diagnosed about 18 months ago. She has been coping well up until fairly recently (I've been doing all her grocery shopping/laundry/general chores for a couple of years now), with me visiting once or twice a week and staying overnight.

I haven't been coping well at all if I'm honest. Not with her condition, moreso that I feel I am 'on call' 24/7 - I can never truly relax and de-stress when I'm not with her, and I know it's only going to get worse. Just writing that feels incredibly selfish when I think about how it pales in comparison to what she is going through, and makes me feel even worse.

On the plus side, I have arranged for a carer to come in every morning, to help her shower/get lunch etc. We had the first visit this morning and she was absolutely lovely, and Mum was very taken with her.

I read through a few posts here before posting this and was in floods of tears. Makes me wish I had found this forum sooner, but better late than never.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
75,841
0
73
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Sam77.

I’m so sorry to read about your situation. Please don’t feel selfish. Feeling as you do is understandable.

I’m glad you’ve found this forum now. I hope being around here will help you feel a little less stressed. Please share your concerns, ask questions - anything! You’ll find understanding and support here.
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
4,321
0
Kent
Hello everyone,

My 81 year old mother, who lives alone, was diagnosed about 18 months ago. She has been coping well up until fairly recently (I've been doing all her grocery shopping/laundry/general chores for a couple of years now), with me visiting once or twice a week and staying overnight.

I haven't been coping well at all if I'm honest. Not with her condition, moreso that I feel I am 'on call' 24/7 - I can never truly relax and de-stress when I'm not with her, and I know it's only going to get worse. Just writing that feels incredibly selfish when I think about how it pales in comparison to what she is going through, and makes me feel even worse.

On the plus side, I have arranged for a carer to come in every morning, to help her shower/get lunch etc. We had the first visit this morning and she was absolutely lovely, and Mum was very taken with her.

I read through a few posts here before posting this and was in floods of tears. Makes me wish I had found this forum sooner, but better late than never.
Hi @Sam77 - welcome to the forum from me too.
I hope the carer visiting your mum works out, and thus also helps you relax a bit.
Get someone in to care, is for the benefit of both - your mum ad you.
Best wishes
 

HerrGrey

New member
Jun 4, 2024
6
0
Hello everyone, I'm here because my 90yo mother has advanced dementia and I am struggling to learn what I should and should not say, how I should and should not behave and so on. Hoping I can get some advice here so I can make the best of whatever time mum has left.

Perhaps a mod can direct me towards the most appropriate forum area?
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
6,986
0
Hello everyone, I'm here because my 90yo mother has advanced dementia and I am struggling to learn what I should and should not say, how I should and should not behave and so on. Hoping I can get some advice here so I can make the best of whatever time mum has left.

Perhaps a mod can direct me towards the most appropriate forum area?
Hello @HerrGrey and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to read about your mother's dementia and I can understand when you say that you are struggling with how to respond to her and the situation. You are not alone in that and I hope that you will find lots of help and advice here on the forum.

It is hard to know how to talk to someone with dementia as every person is different, some will deny that they have any issues but others will be more open, I have attached a link about talking to someone with dementia which you might find useful. The link is from the Alzheimer's Society website which is a mine of information.

I have also attached a link on Compassionate Communication, this is not always easy to follow but it does help.


Finally you might find it useful to start a regular thread in the area - I care for a person with dementia. There you could ask specific questions, talk about how you feel even have the occasional rant if things get difficult.

 

RaeVerde

New member
Jun 4, 2024
1
0
Hi
My name is Rachel and I have just joined the group.
I am the main carer for my 85year old mother who was diagnosed last October with mixed dementia.
Whilst in some respects Mum is early days, i am still finding this very challenging.
I have learnt very quickly that dementia is not just about forgetfulness and confusion but also mobility, time perception and judgment capacity.
It’s certainly a challenging journey.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
75,841
0
73
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @RaeVerde /Rachel.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I'm sure it is challenging. I know it was a steep learning curve for me when dementia first entered our lives.

I'm glad you have found this forum. It's a place you come to for understanding and support whenever you need it.
 
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