please accept my apologies as I see mum has already had a period of respite. Perhaps you could say this is being extended as it is felt she needs further evaluation and rest? Im so sorry as I feel Ive been more hindrance than help.Hello. This is my first attempt to join in. Like you I’m wanting to share my experience and sorry if I’m not able to offer any advice right now. My sister and I have been looking after our 97 year old Mum in her own home until 3 weeks ago, taking it in turns to live back in our childhood home which has been a very emotional experience in itself. Mum’s VD was actually confirmed 3 months ago. She couldn’t be left alone as she panicked so it’s been 24/7 care. We tried our best to make her feel safe and happy but her periods of anxiety and distress continued no matter what we did. Medication hasn’t really helped and we were advised by our social worker to take up the offer of an assessment bed in a Respite home for 3 weeks. Reluctantly we did and the assessment recommendation has been confirmed that she needs full time residential care. Today we have to move her into a care home, after an exhausting search. We feel beyond sad because for some of the time she is still recognisably our alert, switched-on Mum struggling to make sense of what’s happening to her. She values her independence and ‘going into a home’ has been her biggest dread so we’re full of guilt and worry.
What do we say to her today when looks at us so hopefully and asks if she’s going home? She used to ask us this when she actually was at home but couldn’t recognise that she was. When she asks us for ‘the truth’ can she handle it?
Sorry if I’m not offering anything useful to you right now but just needed to explain what we’re facing ourselves today. Woke up at 5am worrying about it.