on duty 24 hours a day!

[danny]

Oh Elaine, I`ve just read your post about wanting someone to live in. I don`t think funding would stretch to that at the moment!!!!

I am sure though that you should be getting alot more help than what you are receiving at the moment,that is why those phone calls are so important, nag,nag,nag!!!!

You carers are all so bl&*&*dy stubborn

Then again I know I would probably be the same if it was my husband.I understand a little and I do feel for what you are going through and my heart goes out to you.

 

[elaine n]

Mostly I can do it Angela although I'm now thinking of proper respite care, which I wouldn't have considered a while ago - softly softly catchee monkey! The problen I have is time - how do I get out there to check places out?

 

[comane]

helper

Elaine can you get an au pair? I had a young lad of 23 for 8 months but unfortunately he has just left to take up a good job in his native land. He was excellent and understood my wife who after a month or so accepted him and I could go out for a few hours from time to time. I now have a man from an agency for a few hours each week who is very expensive and I cannot really afford him and my wife has not yet come to recognise him. I hope to find another suitable au pair and will ask around. It's not easy, I am 82 and she is 77 and may well outlive me.

 

[danny]

Well Elaine, you get Gary admitted to assess his medication and whilst this is being done you check all the respite places out

If only life was that simple.

 

[danny]

Comane,what a wonderful suggestion.

I don`t think I have ever heard of using an au pair before,how on earth did you think of that one.

 

[thatwoman]

I think Danny has hit the nail on the head! That's got to be the best plan.

Thinking of you,

Sue xxx

 

[elaine n]

Someone else mentioned an au pair to me and I thought they were joking! To be honest I don't think anyone else would last a day with Gary at the moment - not to mention the dogs!

 

[danny]

I think I could give you a day to help you interview prospective male au pairs Elaine

 

[donkey]

thinking of you elaine and hope you get a good nights sleep and get some sort of result to some of your problems tomorrow nite xx

 

[elaine n]

Thanks Lyn, I'm hoping for a good night too! We live in hope if we die of despair!

Angela, I'd put you down for the femails! I think I can probably struggle to do the others!

 

[creativesarah]

hi elaine my sister had a male au pair after my BIL went off with the female one !
she said they are much better as you don't have to worry if they are late back in and there's no pmt either !
hope you sleep tonight
lu and stuff sarah

 

[elaine n]

Thanks Sarah, think I'll go to bed now, we're sleeping downstairs tonight, I wasn't sure I could get Gary upstairs to bed this evening. I'll need to sleep in the same room though cos when he wakes up he won;t know where the hell he is I suspect

 

[Onlyme]

I hope you both get some sleep tonight.

 

[elaine n]

Last night was a reasonable one, up once for the loo and once for a wander. We've been up since about 6 and Gary's been asking to leave ever since so I've given him a lorazepam to calm him. He's dozing now but can't go on, the house is still in total lockdown and I can't even go out to empty the kitchen bin into the dustbin for fear he'll escape. I'm waiting for it to be time to ring the cpn and see what she can do

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Thinking of you today Elaine. I hope the cpn comes up trumps. x

 

[creativesarah]

hope the cpn comes up with something you just can't carry on like this neither can gary
luv and support sarah

 

[elaine n]

I've spoken to the duty cpn, ours is on holiday til the end of August, just my luck.
Ive laid my cards on the table and told him I can't go on like this and don't want them to offer emergency respite (in case that was his next move) because although that would help me it wouldn't help Gary. I want him in to have his meds monitored. He's going to try and contact the consultant and ring me back so it's a waiting game now

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Fingers crossed for you Elaine. Well done for standing your ground. x

 

[danny]

Good for you Elaine. You keep at them and don`t be fobbed off.

 

[elaine n]

The cpn has just phoned back, they're looking for a bed in a dementia unit now. I have to wait for him to ring and let me know. I'm so relieved someone's doing something