on duty 24 hours a day!

[elaine n]

You're all so lovely, I don't know what I'd do without you x
Paul and I took Gary in for 3 o'clock and at first he was fine, making a huge effort although I had to give him another Lorazepam at 1 o'clock. The nurse and psychiatrist were lovely with him and did all the usual medical checks - Gary held it all together beautifully, as they do!
Paul and I had time with the psychiatrist on our own - at last! and were able to tell him every thing. He'll be there at least for a week but I suspect it may be longer but what I didn't want to hear was that they may not be able to change anything because if they can't......I won't be able to do this any longer. One of us will get hurt. By the time we were about to leave Gary was kicking off again and trying to get out so we left while he was storming into the loo - the only unlocked door there. I didn't think there was any point in telling him we were going, it would have just inflamed him more.
I hated it but Paul pointed out that what ever he was feeling there he'd be feeling at home, which is true but it's heart over head isn't it? I felt dreadful as we left but by the time we got home I felt relaxed for the first time in I don't know how long

I've just had a call from the unit - they've had to use retraint on Gary and have given him a second dose of lorazepam within an hour and may have to resort to an injection. They can keep him there for 6 hours on the nurses authority then a further 72 hours on a doctors authority - I've told them I want him sectioned if necessary - I can't do this alone anymore. My heart is breaking

 

[DeborahBlythe]

I've just had a call from the unit - they've had to use retraint on Gary and have given him a second dose of lorazepam within an hour and may have to resort to an injection. They can keep him there for 6 hours on the nurses authority then a further 72 hours on a doctors authority - I've told them I want him sectioned if necessary - I can't do this alone anymore. My heart is breaking

Poor Elaine, hugs and sympathy, of course your heart is breaking. Such a sad end to the evening, but please know you have done the right thing. As you say, you couldn't do this alone any more and now Gary is in the right place for his needs for the time being and in safe hands.

Take a deep breath, Elaine. You have climbed a mountain today. Such a hard time for you. Sending you love and best wishes. x

 

[Jo1958]

Elaine, hi
I am so pleased to hear that Paul was with you, so good and I hope the dogs were waiting for you when you got home, their love will be so good for you.
Goodness I feel for you, with kindest regards from Jo

 

[danny]

Hi Elaine. I suspect that today has been one of the hardest days you have ever faced.

You have done the right thing, you had no choice, there isn`t any choice because this is the only thing any one could do in this situation.

We are all here for you Elaine.

 

[mudge]

Elaine

I have spent a long time readng through your thread and my heart goes out to you and Gary. You are an incredible lady, your inner strength love and compassion shines through.

Now that Gary is in a safe place please please take tiem for you to decompress and take some much needed you time.

I am sorely struggling and when I read what you are going through my woes seem petty and trivial in comparison.

Let your dear doggies give you some TLC in that unconditional way that only animals can do

xx

 

[sussexsue]

I can't do this alone anymore. My heart is breaking

That is one hell of a statement. I would have folded under the pressure you have been under long ago. Just think how much the Gary who existed before the dementia took hold would be feeling now, knowing you are safe. However relieved we all are for you he would be the most pleased.

(((hug)))

 

[geum123]

I can't do this alone anymore. My heart is breaking

Oh, of course your heart is breaking,
and I can't even begin to say how very sorry I am Elaine.

Wishing you strength tonight.
Know that you have done absolutely the very best for Gary,
and you still are doing, even though your hurt is so great.

Wish I was near to give a hug.
Love
Geum.
xxxx

 

[Sox]

Oh Elaine what a truly awful day, I feel so deeply for you. I am glad you had Paul with you. Why oh why do our loved ones have to suffer this dreadful disease, they really don't deserve it.
I hope you are able to relax tonight and get a good nights rest, sadly there will probably be more decisions etc to make during the next few days and you will need to be strong, but I know you are. You are one of the bravest people I have "met" on TP take comfort from your loving dogs and have a long restful sleep. Thinking about you, take care. Sox

 

[Grannie G]

It had to be Elaine.
It is terrible, a nightmare for you, but you could do no more by yourself.

 

[susiesue]

Oh Elaine I am so relieved to hear what you have done. I am sure your heart is breaking, you wouldn't be normal if it wasn't, but it is the right thing for Gary and for you.

I hope you feel a bit better in the morning - everything looks and feels worse at night.

Have a good nights sleep , you deserve it

Love

 

[elaine n]

I'm becoming resigned to whatever happens now but I'm also worried about the financial problems it will bring. Can't really think about that tonight though. it is what it is . i wonder if gary will ever come home again

 

[Sue J]

Elaine, so sorry what you've gone through today and before. But thankful for you both that for now you're not on duty 24 hours a day so I really hope you can relax for now knowing that others are taking responsibility for Gary's care so you can have some rest.

Have a peaceful night
Love
Sue
x

 

[elaine n]

Thank you all I'm going to bed now I'm exhausted xxxxe

 

[larivy]

Sorry to read about Gary but his in the right place to get his meds sorted
Sending you a big hug love larivy

 

[Izzy]

Elaine I can't say any mire than others before me have said. I hope you slept last night. Thinking of you and wishing you all the strength in the world. x

 

[elaine n]

Thank you Izzy
I slept until 5.15 then gave up and came downsairs. I feel shaky this morning and ill but I know it's just a reaction to yesterday. I can ring Gary's nurse from 7 this morning but can't bring myself to pick up the phone, I'm afraid of what she'll tell me

 

[scarletpauline]

Dearest Elaine, I just can't comprehend how this happened so quickly, when we met just a few days ago really, Gary seemed fine although affected by the heat, bless him didn't he enjoy that icecream though. It just shows you never know what is round the corner. Hopefully the unit will sort out his meds and he will calm down. Take care of yourself Elaine and walk your dogs as much as you can, it will help you to relax I think. Love and hugs from us both, Pauline and Jack xxxx

 

[elaine n]

Thank Pauline
I'm just waiting for it to be the right time to take them, if I go too early I meet too many other dog walkers. You're right, it will do me good

 

[sonia owen]

Elaine

Sorry, you feel the way you do this morning. It is bound to come out like this,its the way the body, show's pent up stress. A good cry, is yet another way, of dealing with it.
As Pauline mentioned walking can certainly help, but only when you feel ready.

Remember Gary is safe and in the best hands after your's. They will sort out his meds. They can't do it, without seeing first hand what is happening too him. It can take time to get it right. So you try and find some inner peace for you, while they do.
Everyone here is with you every step of the way.

Keep strong Mrs.
Love and hugs
Sonia xxxxx

You feel like a stranger in your own skin right now.
I'll remind you of the courageous person inside xxx

 

[thatwoman]

Dear Elaine,

I'm so sorry you're feeling bad, but you have done so well to get Gary into the assessment unit. This could be the first step to getting his meds right and making him feel happier, so what else could you have done? Everything you've done has been in Gary's best interests, so you have nothing to feel guilty about. You haven't let him down, and you've done the only thing you could do to improve how he feels. That must have been hard for you, but you know in your heart of hearts that there was no alternative.

Thinking of you. Try to be kind to yourself, and let yourself relax a little. I can't imagine how tense you must be, being constantly on call for so long. It will take time for them to sort out Gary's meds, and you need to use the time to destress too, so that you're ready to meet whatever challenges the future may bring.

Love and hugs,

Sue xxxx