on duty 24 hours a day!

[nellbelles]

Elaine

I'm so sorry that is has all escalated so quickly, please don't put yourself in harms way, you know that Gary would be horrified if he knew how aggressive he is with you, so if you need to get help quickly for both of your-sakes.

Love and hugs.
Helen

 

[elaine n]

Thank you. When I was in the thick of it I just couldn't think what to do. I'm sure what happened was to do with his constipation (possibly) but I couldn't think how to keep him safe. the whole house is locked now and i'll lock the dogs into one room tonight - if he needs to get out and can't he'll probably trash the house but i can keep the dogs safe and lock myself in a room if needs be

 

[Jo1958]

Elaine, hi
Maybe you can't keep him safe from his dementia, you can only keep yourself safe to care for him, so please use the phone and dial 999, the emergency services are there to help.
Please keep in touch and know that we care, Jo

 

[larivy]

Hi Elaine have you tried movicol when I had my opp I could not go I took 3 sachet at once and it worked might be worth a try hope Gary settles get help if you need it I agree with the others your no good to Gary if your hurt love larivy

 

[Nan2seven]

Dear Elaine,
I know that your dear Gary is your Number One Priority.
But do take good care of yourself, my sweetheart.
Thinking of you both and sending love,
Nan XXX

 

[elaine n]

The toilet problem is something new Larivy so have only been able to address it today. I'm still not convinced it's constipation

 

[muse]

OMG Elaine, I so feel for you

I've not been able to come on TP for some time. I've just come across this thread. This all sounds very serious, but I haven't quite found the beginning of the thread. I'll try to get the full story.

But just for now, please, please, look after yourself. I know you care sooo much, but you're worth no less than Gary. You mustn't let this illness destroy 2 lives, remember? We agreed on that.

I send you the biggest hugs. Send me a help signal if you need it - I'll suspend that bloody job of mine and put on my sat-nav to get to you if you need help or just moral support.

Lots of love - Kathy - xxxx

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Elaine:
Wondering how you are this morning and what sort of night you have had.

As the others I am alarmed at your last post so hope to see a post from you soon.

Best wishes

 

[Izzy]

Hi Elaine. Like Jan I'm wondering what kind of night you had. I hope not too bad. I'm sorry things are as they are. Like Angela I think a full assessment would be a good idea and it would give you some respite. Easgofer me to say. I know. x

 

[Grannie G]

Good morning Elaine.

Thinking of you and hoping all is well. X

 

[elaine n]

Last night was ok thank goodness, Gary was up a lot roaming the house but not agitated. He'd wet all over the bathroom floor but that's easy to mop up and clean. He still hasn't been able to go to the loo and doesn't seem himself this morning so I'm feeling a little edgy to say the least.

Thank you all so much for your concern, I don't know how I'd manage without you x

 

[creativesarah]

gtad last night wasn't to eventful lots of support sarah

 

[scarletpauline]

Thinking of you Elaine and wishing I could help, seems as if it has all happened since we met up last week, hope he calms down and his bowel problem gets sorted. Sending lots of love and hugs Elaine, Pauline xxx

 

[maddy46]

Oh God

I don't know where to start. This may be a long post - sorry

This morning Gary tried to go to the loo - he only has a bowel movement every other day but couldn't go, now he's on Ebixa I have to keep an eye on things because it can cause constipation. We had the same problem on Wednesday but he managed in the end and to me the end product didn't look hard so I'm wondering if it's more to do with muscle control but what do I know really? He was feeling uncomfortable and in quite a lot of pain.
Today was day hospital day and I had a hair appointment at 11am til 1 pm so was hoping they could keep him there today - they had to really, I couldn't leave with bleach on my hair!
I told them about the toilet problem and they said they'd see what they could do, which they did. They got the gp to prescribe Laxido - he's had 2 doses so far with no result. They've also got the consultant to prescribe a low dose of Lorazepam because he's so agitated during the day and they find it difficult to manage him (well, actually, so do I!) but they now see how things are for me.
I think I'm rambling now....sorry
The upshot is I had to pick him up as soon as I'd left the hairdressers and bring him home, by which time he was calmer because he'd had some Lorazepam
By 6.30 he'd become agitated again so I gave him another half tablet but I think I'd miss timed it, he wanted to go out. the door and gate were locked but he tried to climb over the gate so I thought it would be better to take him for a walk. He tried to get into next door's garden, by now he was raving and when I tried to restrain him he was fighting me and trying to climb over their gate and ended up kicking it. I managed to calm him enough to walk with me up the lane along the river but when a car came along he walked into it and a lovely lady tried to help me calm him again. He then charged up the drive of a local B&B just as some guests with children had arrived and again when I tried to restrain him he was really violent with me. He's a strong man at the best of times and the B&B owner helped me to restrain him amd evetually I persuaded him to come home with me and he calmed down. I feel shaken to my core - once the storm was over he was tearful and is dozing now. I really don't know how to deal with this, I'm frightened of his strength, I know he doesn't mean to hurt me but I can't reason with him when he's in this state and one of us is going to get hurt and I don't know what to do

Just sending you my Love and Hugs Elaine
Maddy xx

 

[nellbelles]

Elaine

Glad things were calmer last night.

I know how worried you are about Gary's constipation, maybe a call to the emergency Doc, otherwise I can see this being a long weekend for you both,

Love and hugs Helen

 

[susiesue]

Crikey Elaine I've just caught up with your posts. You can't go on like this - I know what it is like when you are threatened and it's no joke!

You must get your CPN to sort something out - some respite preferably, otherwise I am worried for your safety.

Love

 

[Jo1958]

Elaine, hi
I hear you didn't get much sleep last night, that won't be helping your feelings of calm and trust, I hope it's a better day than you dread.

I use Movicol for hubby when it's been a few days since he went to the loo, well actually he has one a day at the moment. I also rub his back when he is sitting on the loo and chat, it seems to help him to stop worrying and get on with the job! He seems to have forgotten the signals involved in toileting and needs a little reassurance that it's OK to use the loo.

Take good care of yourself, I hope you get a bit of a walk with your doggies today.
With kind regards from Jo

 

[geum123]

Elaine,

I'm so sorry. What else can I add to what others have posted.

My dad has Movicol, but there is certainly a downturn in behaviour if he is constipated for more than three days.

Keep safe.

love
Geum.xx

 

[creativesarah]

Hope today hasnt been too awful
Luv and Stuff sarah

 

[Onlyme]

We worry when you don't post as we are trying to imagine what you are going through.

Sending you good thoughts and hope against hope that Gary has had a quiet night.

Please ring 999 if you are scared. They are there to protect and will help you.