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oldtiredcyclist

New member
Dec 5, 2023
1
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Hi, following my first Covid jab in late February 2021, I quickly developed several medical problems, including "brain fog" and short term memory issues. I am 65, llive with my wife, but I have no relatives living near me and over the past two and a half years have become less mobile (due in part to joint issues and balance/vertigo problems) and more reclusive.
 

Coda<3

New member
Dec 5, 2023
2
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Hello, my name is Kara, I am 61 working two jobs from home while caring for my mother who is Deaf, has low vision and mobility concerns. Mom is 90-year-old and diagnosed with dementia last year. She is in the later stages, we had concerns about her memory for years but no one listened to us. When my dad suddenly passed, everything became clear and hit head on. This has been the most challenging and heartbreaking experience ever! Mom is rapidly declining.
I was searching for answers to some questions I had and found this online group. A relief to be able to chat with others for much needed support, learning and sharing. Glad to be here. Just wish it was different.
 

Gosling

Volunteer Host
Aug 2, 2022
1,503
0
South West UK
Hello Kara @Coda<3 and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum from me also. There is a lot of shared experience of dementia to be found here, so I am glad you have found us.
I am sorry to read about your Mom. I hope you will find this forum useful for information, and any particular advice if you need it, do just ask, as members here really do want to help.
It's also good for letting off a bit of steam when you need to!
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
5,106
0
Hi, following my first Covid jab in late February 2021, I quickly developed several medical problems, including "brain fog" and short term memory issues. I am 65, llive with my wife, but I have no relatives living near me and over the past two and a half years have become less mobile (due in part to joint issues and balance/vertigo problems) and more reclusive.
Hello @oldtiredcyclist and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to read about your memory issues. Have you discussed these with your doctor, if not it might be an idea to do so. In the meantime if you have any questions or queries please let us know. You will find lots of help and advice here.
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,067
0
Kent
Hello

Ramblings of a broken woman

My husband has been waiting for an appoointmen with the memory clinic since February 2023.

Last weds paramedics referred him or rather us for Crisis help. The GP next day spoke to Social Services confirming we were in crisis and therefore needed help.

My understanding of crisis is that help is needed NOW.

Nothing - I cannot cope I dont know what to do, I dont know how to handle his distress. I spent Monday on the phone Tuesday on the phone.

Social Services told me agencies they use had no one and they were putting the care needed out to brokerage [whatever that is] how long do ~~I have to wait for support/help. It could be days/weeks before any help arrives.

I cannot sleep, my heart is broken. I can do house work its diverting. I cannot cope with the pain seeing my once strong capable husband reduced to this. Death would be better.

I have spoken with Carers and they are ringing me back today.

I found a registered PA who I have known for many years and TRUST who is willing to help privately £15 per hour but I cannot fund that for long, and I asked Social Services if they could fund that. Probably not.

The PA is a person my husband knows and is extremely happy with - why can SOcial Services not support me on this? It would solve the risis dilemma and give them time - red tape grrr.
.

Love to all.
Hi @Bichonjan
Yes, if there is a crisis is just when Adult Social Services should be helping. You 'll have to keep pestering them until they get their act into gear. Re-chase GP for help with referral again.

Speak with the Alzheimer's Society help line 0333 150 3456 - Opening hours: Mon to Weds: 9am – 8pm, Thurs and Fri: 9am – 5pm, Sat and Sun: 10am – 4pm

Best wishes
 

Coda<3

New member
Dec 5, 2023
2
0
Hello Kara @Coda<3 and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum from me also. There is a lot of shared experience of dementia to be found here, so I am glad you have found us.
I am sorry to read about your Mom. I hope you will find this forum useful for information, and any particular advice if you need it, do just ask, as members here really do want to help.
It's also good for letting off a bit of steam when you need to!
Thank you! I know this is the place for me. As we all share stories, experiences, ups, downs and more.
 

Christine62

New member
Dec 4, 2023
1
0
Liverpool
Hi my husband has young onset dementia (he is 63) he can’t be alone as his anxiety is really bad never previously suffered from anxiety so this was a red flag for us . If I’m calm and happy so is my husband it’s a 24/7 job and my heart goes out to everyone who is going through these tough times
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
5,975
0
south-east London
A warm welcome from me too @Christine62 - my late husband also had young onset dementia. I totally understand how alarming previously unseen levels of anxiety can be. You are right, being able to keep calm and happy helps enormously, as our loved ones can be very sensitive and responsive to the general emotions and atmosphere around them.

Having said that, staying calm and happy at all times is not always possible - we are but human after all. I found this forum to be a fantastic source of support and understanding throughout the good and bad times - and I am sure you will too.
 

Donkey121

New member
Dec 8, 2023
1
0
Hello everyone. My Mother has Alzheimer’s, she lives with her husband - we are both finding it very hard
 

Spottydog

Registered User
Dec 8, 2023
33
0
Hi, I'm a long time lurker who has found this forum very helpful. I care for my 85 year old dad who lives a long way away from me. He has mixed dementia and low vision but so far this cruel disease hasn't got hold of his dry sense of humour.
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
5,106
0
Hello @Spottydog and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. You will find lots of help and support here from our members who have experience of many aspects of dementia. We have a number of members who like you have experience of caring from a distance. You might find it useful to start a thread in the area - I care for a person with dementia - there you can ask for advice or just talk about how you feel. I have attached a link for you.
 

Maxxe

New member
Dec 9, 2023
5
0
My neighbour has dementia and is very sweet but completely lost. She lives alone, her daughter comes in the evening and she has cares who come for a short while in the morning and at lunchtime. She knocks on my door lost and frightened dozens of times a day and when I answer she can’t remember where she lives so I direct her back m and listen to her. For a while. if I’m working and try to ignore it then she will wander off and get people passing by to knock loudly and often they demand to know what I’m thinking leaving an old woman out in the cold. Her daughter is exhausted and just tells me to ignore the knocking, s now started at night 10,30pm with her being very frightened and low. I answered the first few times, contacted her daughter who told me to ignore it - but I feel terrible leaving someone out in the cold alone and afraid. Social services, the police and her Dr are all aware of her situation It no one seems to do anything. It’s been going on for 9 months and is effecting my work. What can I do to help this situation?
 

Carwalk

New member
Jul 18, 2023
1
0
HI, my husband is 75 yrs old and he has Alziemers. I am 67 yrs old and I retired earlier this year. He was diagnosed about 2 yrs ago now but we noticed a couple of years before that that he had memory problems and was getting lost when out driving. Its not easy sometimes living with a person so changed.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,145
0
Kent
Welcome @Carwalk I hope you will find help and support here.

It`s really hard when our plans for retirement are cancelled by this awful disease and all we can do is try to make the best of good days.

I know the personality changes are the biggest challenges. It doesn’t happen to everyone. My husband’s personality changed while my mothers stayed pretty much the same.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,145
0
Kent
Hello @Dee1956 and welcome.

You have so many responsibilities I don`t know how you manage. I hope you get some help.

Mood swings are so hard to manage and I doubt there will be anyone here who hasn`t experienced them one way or another.

I`m sure you will get lots of support here.
 
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