Mil Very Near End Of Life ??

[Carara]

Hiya 1954

Yes we take it in turns

Hubby wakes very early anyway

Mil is still having water from a sponge and plenty of it

She asked for tea the other day so like an idiot I gave her some from a sponge

Oh boy did she choke

She said "no more tea" I thought Thank God for that,I don`t want to go though that again

She`s just been shouting MAMA

Well not shouting but tying to in her own croaky voice

Heard her say Mom but never Mama

x x x

 

[piedwarbler]

Hi Carara, your MiL is a courageous fighter and no doubt about it. I can hardly believe she is still with us. The shallow breathing may be a sign of things winding down. You must be getting it right if your MiL feels so comfy that she can take her time. You're doing a fantastic job. Don't doubt it. Try and rest when you can x

 

[Carara]

Thankyou Pied for the reasurrance

I`m astonished by her to be honest so is hubby

I have changed her now and she is half settled again

Surely this can`t go on for much longer

x x x

 

[1954]

I tell you what Carara you are a marvellous, loving daughter in law when you think of the way she has treated you in the past. Not everybody can do what you are doing. I admire you. You are doing a fantastic job

I am thinking of you many times a day

Huge huggies and much love xxxxxx

 

[Carara]

Awww Thankyou 1954 your so kind

Of course she was the Mil from hell but all things considered she is 91 and a true fighter...
I think to be honest I did look after mil as I stand by what I said to Fil who I loved dearly and he did me
And I ruddy salute him too as she put him through hell


Must add though I wouldn`t like to do it again but you never know whats round the corner so they say

Just hope and prey that your Mil treats you better than mine did..

x x x

 

[Carara]

Thanks Kassy

This Long Road is now the M6 me thinks Chick

x x x

 

[Big Effort]

Oh Carara and hubby,

Another day been and gone and you are still on the bedside vigil.
A mammoth effort, but I am glad you can do this for her, and are able to put the other 'stuff' behind you. And that she has forgotten how to be nasty to you.
Some people are made of stern stuff. Just because they have dementia doesn't mean they don't have a fit heart, good lungs, resilient kidneys and a liver made of iron.
I am thinking of you (even though hubby and I have had one of the worst ever tongue lashings from a very verbal Mum). Determined not to lick my wounds or even have any!
Sending peace and gentle quiet, it won't go on for ever, that is a certainty. Big hugs to a brave lady, ladies actually, BE

 

[Carara]

Thankyou BE for your lovely kind words

I know what its like and it does hurt but we have to do it

Take Great Care & Thankyou once again

x x x

 

[piedwarbler]

Take care Carara. You're doing a great job. Hang in there. You will be so glad you did. X

 

[Noorza]

Thankyou BE for your lovely kind words

I know what its like and it does hurt but we have to do it

Take Great Care & Thankyou once again

x x x

I have read the entire thread tonight, in tears. What you are doing is so kind, so wonderful, so compassionate. You and your hubby are special people. xx

 

[Shash7677]

I've just caught up with your thread again, my your MIL is tenacious, a real fighter.

You and hubby are doing a fantastic job, hang in there.

Virtual hugs a plenty,

Sharon x

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Carara,

Just letting you know that I'm following your progress. It's wonderful the way you've put all the unpleasantness behind you so you can be alongside your MIL during this difficult time.

I'm sure you will be rewarded for your selflessness. I hope your MIL stays comfortable, and you and hubby look after each other.

Take care,
Stephanie, xxx

 

[piedwarbler]

Hope your night was bearable and your MiL was comfy x

 

[Carara]

Noorza,
Sorry if the thread upset you ...Its just a release for me to come on here and like Pied`s thread it helped me so much I hope this thread maybe could help some others in time
The will she won`t she with my mil are very trying to say the least

Nobody thought she would last this long but I have got to the stage where Im like "Oh she`ll be shopping in Sainsbury`s next week"

Sash & Steph thankyou & Everyone else also for your loving comments

You are all so very kind,
God knows where I would be without TP
X X X

 

[Noorza]

Noorza,
Sorry if the thread upset you ...Its just a release for me to come on here and like Pied`s thread it helped me so much I hope this thread maybe could help some others in time
The will she won`t she with my mil are very trying to say the least

Nobody thought she would last this long but I have got to the stage where Im like "Oh she`ll be shopping in Sainsbury`s next week"

Sash & Steph thankyou & Everyone else also for your loving comments

You are all so very kind,
God knows where I would be without TP
X X X

So sorry sometimes being upset is a relief in itself. Bottling it all up isn't a good thing for me. Being upset lets it out, so weirdly if it makes sense, it's a good thing to talk to others who are going through similar mixed emotions. Thank you so much for sharing. xx

I will follow your story because it has truly touched me. Thank you. xx

 

[1954]

Carara

Thinking of you still. When this is over you will be so pleased you did all you can for your MIL

Keep your strength up girl, you are all she has got (obviously your hubby too)

Much love xxxx

 

[piedwarbler]

I think I posted that one of Mum's carers went off on holiday and I said "see you when you get back", as I'd stopped believing she was mortal! It's funny the way the mind works. The longer it goes on, the less you believe it'll happen.
Now I look back I realise Mum gave me that time to say bye. X

 

[Carara]

Pied, that is so strange as I said the same thing only Yesterday

1954,
Thanks chick but I don`t think this will ever end
I am now thinking how on earth will I look after Mil when I am 91 myself

Noorza,
Your emotions are going to be all over the place,believe me mine have been
I`ve been like this to this and back again

Tp has been a life saver for me,I must say I have had a good laugh on here too
When Mil used to make me feel like I was a worthless good for nothing,coming on here helped me because I soon realised I wasn`t the only one going through it..
I`ve walked out,slammed the door ,drove off to don`t know where,
you name I`ve done it and Mil has called me everything under the sun ...but at the end of the day I came back to look after Mil and it wasn`t fair on Hubby who hadn`t done a thing wrong AND
When I got back she was like you ok ? I was like permanatley..

Keep your chin up Chick,easier said than done I know

x x x x

 

[1954]

I know exactly what you mean. Up and down like a yoyo. None of it is easy. Well done Carara xx

 

[Farmergirl]

Im so glad you have shared this journey. I feel that it wont be too long before I also have to wwalk the walk, and this and Pied's threads have really helped me prepare. My cousin sent me an email and summed it up...you are on a very lonely journey, and I feel as though I am - none of the family are interested and many of them scared, but TP has always been there for me, Thanks God. If it wasnt for the bravery and support of people like you, I dont know that I could face mums death in a compassionate way. I actually feel very sorry for my brother and mums brother who are just not dealing with it all.