My thoughts are still with you Carara. Hope all is well. My mum's final illness was 14 days exactly start to finish and I notice you started this thread on 6 July. It surely can't be long now. Love to you all x
Mil Very Near End Of Life ??
- Thread starter Carara
- Start date
Hi Everyone
Well Mil was a total nightmare last night
She was picking & pulling the quilt off constantly,
On her back then turning on one side then the other calling family members names(mainly her sisters) then saying oh please god throughout the night..
Now some of you are aware of the disaster with the nappies so guess what ???
I have now had to put her in a onsie again
Least the duvet is clean
I went to bed at 5.30 am when hubby came down
Her face is kind of a yellowish colour,her hand up to elbows and feet are purple and her nails (inc toe nails) are bluey/lilacy colour,infact I had to look very close at her hands during the night as I had a lamp on and they looked very dirty
I honestly think she knows whats happening to her and refuses to go
We have told her God is waiting,hubby & sisters are waiting but nope she` staying put.
I haven`t a clue where the energy to move is coming from to move her legs so much let alone turn on her sides
2 weeks ago when I started this thread she was sleeping constant but now ??
Will this energy ever run out ? Because ours is doing
I can honestly say I have never known a 91 yr old like her
She is half asleep right now but only half not fully
x x x
Well Mil was a total nightmare last night
She was picking & pulling the quilt off constantly,
On her back then turning on one side then the other calling family members names(mainly her sisters) then saying oh please god throughout the night..
Now some of you are aware of the disaster with the nappies so guess what ???
I have now had to put her in a onsie again
Least the duvet is clean
I went to bed at 5.30 am when hubby came down
Her face is kind of a yellowish colour,her hand up to elbows and feet are purple and her nails (inc toe nails) are bluey/lilacy colour,infact I had to look very close at her hands during the night as I had a lamp on and they looked very dirty
I honestly think she knows whats happening to her and refuses to go
We have told her God is waiting,hubby & sisters are waiting but nope she` staying put.
I haven`t a clue where the energy to move is coming from to move her legs so much let alone turn on her sides
2 weeks ago when I started this thread she was sleeping constant but now ??
Will this energy ever run out ? Because ours is doing
I can honestly say I have never known a 91 yr old like her
She is half asleep right now but only half not fully
x x x
I honestly think she`s too poorly to travel now ( silly me this one is immortal ) but may contact a hospice for advise later
Maybe she wants to say bye to her other son,he`s calling tonight so maybe things will change I`m not sure anymore
x x x
) but may contact a hospice for advise later Maybe she wants to say bye to her other son,he`s calling tonight so maybe things will change I`m not sure anymore
x x x
Carara;785943 [[I said:B]I honestly think she`s too poorly to travel now[/B][/I] ( silly me this one is immortal
Maybe she wants to say bye to her other son,he`s calling tonight so maybe things will change I`m not sure anymore
x x x
That thought had crossed my mind from everything you have written. Is she on any medications to help her relax? I think it was morphine they gave to Dad in his last days but that was a long time ago now.
I honestly think she`s too poorly to travel now ( silly me this one is immortal
Maybe she wants to say bye to her other son,he`s calling tonight so maybe things will change I`m not sure anymore
x x x
I think most hospices now can give some care at home so she wouldn't have to travel. xx
Sending all of you love and hugs.
Carara you and your Husband are doing a brilliant job.
Love from Lyn T
Carara you and your Husband are doing a brilliant job.
Love from Lyn T
Respite care
Carara, so sorry for your sad situation, and also if this is repeating what might have been suggested before by other TPers. My access to internet is intermittent at the moment -
Have you tried to request Marie Curie respite care at home? In our area, you can get a referral for day or night care, so that you and your husband can get rest. It is not only offered to cancer patients but for all those deemed to need end of life/end stage care. Here, the referral comes via the District Nurses - but I wonder if it would be worth calling MC directly to see if it's possible and then how to access their services? (which in our area are free).
We had excellent palliative care support from the specialist palliative care team based at the local hospice - the referral came via Mum's GP - but I also contacted them directly to speed things up and they were good enough to listen and help immediately. They often know the networks that you need - can help with pain care, comfort relief and give you and your husband much needed moral support and care.
You're delivering the best possible care to your MIL, keeping her loved, comfortable and reassured. Emotionally and physically it's tough - I hope you can access some support for yourselves too.
Carara, so sorry for your sad situation, and also if this is repeating what might have been suggested before by other TPers. My access to internet is intermittent at the moment -
Have you tried to request Marie Curie respite care at home? In our area, you can get a referral for day or night care, so that you and your husband can get rest. It is not only offered to cancer patients but for all those deemed to need end of life/end stage care. Here, the referral comes via the District Nurses - but I wonder if it would be worth calling MC directly to see if it's possible and then how to access their services? (which in our area are free).
We had excellent palliative care support from the specialist palliative care team based at the local hospice - the referral came via Mum's GP - but I also contacted them directly to speed things up and they were good enough to listen and help immediately. They often know the networks that you need - can help with pain care, comfort relief and give you and your husband much needed moral support and care.
You're delivering the best possible care to your MIL, keeping her loved, comfortable and reassured. Emotionally and physically it's tough - I hope you can access some support for yourselves too.
Oh my, I can't imagine what you're all going through. What a determined woman your MIL is, sounds like some other TP'er's family who've journeyed from this world, in their own time and on their own terms, which seems fair, a final act of independence and control.
I wish you all a gentle day with a huge dash of strength.
Stephanie, xxx
I wish you all a gentle day with a huge dash of strength.
Stephanie, xxx
Thankyou everyone
I shall make some calls in the morning if she`s still here and see if there is any help we can get for her
I may even ring her gp who could prescribed something to make her relax in a liquid form as he has already seen her so will know what she`s like
Her tongue is a light purple colour now
She`s is doing some reaching out and saying oh god but she is alot more content that during the night
By that I mean not going from side to side
x x x
I shall make some calls in the morning if she`s still here and see if there is any help we can get for her
I may even ring her gp who could prescribed something to make her relax in a liquid form as he has already seen her so will know what she`s like
Her tongue is a light purple colour now
She`s is doing some reaching out and saying oh god but she is alot more content that during the night
By that I mean not going from side to side
x x x
Thankyou everyone
I shall make some calls in the morning if she`s still here and see if there is any help we can get for her
I may even ring her gp who could prescribed something to make her relax in a liquid form as he has already seen her so will know what she`s like
Her tongue is a light purple colour now
She`s is doing some reaching out and saying oh god but she is alot more content that during the night
By that I mean not going from side to side
x x x
It sounds like she needs to let go now but knowing that and her accepting it needs to happen seem like two different things. Her mind must be strong.
Carara
The symptoms you are describing are typical of the anxiety brought on by lack of oxygen to the brain caused by continual shallow breathing.
There are drugs that can relieve this symptom,the best way to administer the drug is via syringe driver as part of a miscible cocktail which can be varied as required. Your GP and district nurse should be able to set this up, the driver is a small battery powered device and the injection is by a small sub cutaneous needle. It's part of the often maligned LCP which used correctly is brilliant.
I hope the end is peaceful, I know what you are going through as I went through it with my wife a few weeks ago, she had a syringe driver with two medications, one for pain the other to stop the death rattle.
The symptoms you are describing are typical of the anxiety brought on by lack of oxygen to the brain caused by continual shallow breathing.
There are drugs that can relieve this symptom,the best way to administer the drug is via syringe driver as part of a miscible cocktail which can be varied as required. Your GP and district nurse should be able to set this up, the driver is a small battery powered device and the injection is by a small sub cutaneous needle. It's part of the often maligned LCP which used correctly is brilliant.
I hope the end is peaceful, I know what you are going through as I went through it with my wife a few weeks ago, she had a syringe driver with two medications, one for pain the other to stop the death rattle.
Thinking of you tonight. I can hardly believe the strength your MiL is showing. Praying all is peaceful for her and for you and your husband. X
This is exactly situation regarding about 36 hours before mum died a week last Wednesday, and the syringe driver really calmed her down so she was able to let go. One of the drugs was hyoscine to dry up respiratory secretions as she could not swallow which was cause of much of her distress. She had fought all the way, in a very similar way to your MIL Carara, and I was relieved to eventually see her with her eyes closed, as if asleep. Thinking of you....
1954
Sent email
mil still with us
Told hubby he has to ring GP and get them up here today asap
Also I think the catheter is annoying her now so district nurse will have to come too
Anyone know why she`s making a wailing noise.not alot but now & then
I`d have thought if she was in pain she`d be in the fetal position but she`s not
Her nails are bluey grey
x x x
Sent email
mil still with us
Told hubby he has to ring GP and get them up here today asap
Also I think the catheter is annoying her now so district nurse will have to come too
Anyone know why she`s making a wailing noise.not alot but now & then
I`d have thought if she was in pain she`d be in the fetal position but she`s not
Her nails are bluey grey
x x x
