i like the idea of getting in some extra 121 care @Hippo 😀Everything you’re all feeling resonates so much with me. My husband has been in care nearly 3 months - the care is mostly good but all he still wants is me. I visit most days and have a chat with other residents, most of who still want their partners or daughters to come and take them home. My husband has largely retreated into his room and has his meals in there. No one has time to give him 1to1 time and he seems to be deteriorating rapidly. Against all advice from friends and most family I decided to bring him home with live in care. I’ve had to face up tho to the many potential problems with that arrangement - getting on with a carer living with you, he may be disoriented all over again etc etc. he had a needs assessment for live in care today - he was confused about ‘going home’ and she thought he seemed quite settled! Plan b is to keep him in the home and employ an additional carer to go in most days to give him more 1 to 1 and stimulate him a bit with conversation etc. I feel so guilty and unhappy thinking about him there in the evenings with no one to talk to or give him a cuddle. It’s an impossible situation and all I can do is try different ways of making life a bit more interesting for him. My rational self sees there are too many questions and risks to bringing him home, even with live in support, but my emotional self just wants to give him as much happiness as possible while he can appreciate it.
You might be able to advertise quite cheaply for a companion to chat with him or do a simple activity with him.
I live next to a care home and there is a chap who I see every day go for a walk with a carer who clearly arrives, takes the chap out and then goes again ….so a family somewhere have organised that so their relative can go for a walk….