Our last night together
- Thread starter DawnR
- Start date
Thanks everyone for your kind words the support means a lot ❤️
There’s bound to be a few problems at the start, I’ll just have to work through them. I can’t go back to how things were it would kill me.
There’s bound to be a few problems at the start, I’ll just have to work through them. I can’t go back to how things were it would kill me.
Well that didn’t last long! Day 5 and the care home want him out, his anxiety is unmanageable.
I thought the settling in period would be longer, it doesn’t help his case that he punched one of the carers this morning.
Not sure where I go from here.
I thought the settling in period would be longer, it doesn’t help his case that he punched one of the carers this morning.
Not sure where I go from here.
It's probably the punch that's made them say that they can't cope with your husband but there are places that can.
Please contact his social worker and ask for his needs to be properly assessed. You need to say that as a care home can't cope with his behaviour, you can not have him home.
I had exactly the same with Mum who was assessed as needing a dementia nursing home.
Stay strong and keep those big girl's pant on.
Please contact his social worker and ask for his needs to be properly assessed. You need to say that as a care home can't cope with his behaviour, you can not have him home.
I had exactly the same with Mum who was assessed as needing a dementia nursing home.
Stay strong and keep those big girl's pant on.
That`s a really big let down @DawnR I don`t know what to say to you.
I understand the carer being upset if your husband punched them but I would like to know what happened leading up to this and I doubt you will ever be told.
I'm not making excuses for your husband. No one wants to work in an environment where they are in danger of being punched, but I hope the carer was well trained and experienced enough to manage the behaviour of a seriously ill person.
I understand the carer being upset if your husband punched them but I would like to know what happened leading up to this and I doubt you will ever be told.
I'm not making excuses for your husband. No one wants to work in an environment where they are in danger of being punched, but I hope the carer was well trained and experienced enough to manage the behaviour of a seriously ill person.
I don’t know how I did it at the end, I know I couldn’t continue. I think they’ve given up on him too soon.
That’s what they have decided, he needs nursing care. Sadly there isn’t a dementia nursing bed for him in the whole of Northumberland so we are looking at further away.
The main thing is to find the best place for him, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to visit if he’s 40 or 50 miles away.
I went the other night and there were 4 carers around him trying to get him to take his medication.
No wonder he is lashing out, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour but I understand why.
I wouldn’t like 4 people in my face, they need to get to know him better and how to get him to respond positively.
Hopefully when he is moved the carers will be more experienced in the type of care he needs.
Social services have been quite good, they have arranged for one to one care for two weeks until he can be moved to a more suitable placement.
Did you step in and try to get him to take his meds? I ask because I can be more demanding and Mum will often be more compliant. Mum's care home could no longer cope so she was despatched to the local hospital. We are still waiting for a bed in a suitable dementia, nursing home.
@sdmhred I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I didn’t expect this. I clean when I’m stressed and my house is spotless.
I feel he’s unwanted and I’ve sent him there. The guilt is crippling me. My main support is my youngest son who lives in Liverpool but he’s had a big project this week so I didn’t want to worry him.
He’s a sound engineer at a music venue and an aspiring producer. This week he was recording his first paid project, an album for a band from Manchester. I’ll have a proper catch up with him soon.
I just try to keep busy and not think about things, it’s the only way I can cope with the situation.
I feel he’s unwanted and I’ve sent him there. The guilt is crippling me. My main support is my youngest son who lives in Liverpool but he’s had a big project this week so I didn’t want to worry him.
He’s a sound engineer at a music venue and an aspiring producer. This week he was recording his first paid project, an album for a band from Manchester. I’ll have a proper catch up with him soon.
I just try to keep busy and not think about things, it’s the only way I can cope with the situation.
@My Mum's Daughter I did step in, which probably stepped on their toes but I thought it needed to be done.
I took his hand and asked him if he would like a drink and a biscuit. I got him to sit down and he took it for me with the promise of a jelly baby afterwards. I had left them jelly babies already and told them he would anything for his favourite sweet.
I’m sorry to hear about your mum, how long have you been waiting for a nursing bed?
I took his hand and asked him if he would like a drink and a biscuit. I got him to sit down and he took it for me with the promise of a jelly baby afterwards. I had left them jelly babies already and told them he would anything for his favourite sweet.
I’m sorry to hear about your mum, how long have you been waiting for a nursing bed?
I often find the same, what they won't take for the nurses, they will for me however I do acknowledge that I'm allowed to be more forceful (human rights has a lot to answer for).
We've been waiting about 6 weeks. Anything decent has a waiting list and if there's spaces, I visit and understand why!
@My Mum's Daughter they could definitely be more persuasive, they ask my husband if he would like a shower. Of course he says no! They should be saying come on it’s shower time.
Crikey that’s a long wait, I hope you find a suitable bed soon. I’m going on holiday on Sunday for 2 weeks, it’s been planned for ages I hope they don’t move him to somewhere awful while I’m away.
Crikey that’s a long wait, I hope you find a suitable bed soon. I’m going on holiday on Sunday for 2 weeks, it’s been planned for ages I hope they don’t move him to somewhere awful while I’m away.
