@GKB I brought my husband of 42 years home from a care home in September after 4 weeks.
I thought it was for the best as we had some night time aggression and he was starting to have incontinence issues.
I found a lovely care home, unfortunately I had to pay £75pw top up. I was going to have to increase my hours at work to cover the cost. I was prepared to do this but I just couldn’t give up on having him at home. We were both miserable and I was sleeping less than before he went into care.
The other residents were all older ( my OH is 65) and less mobile. I was visiting every day to take him out for a walk with the dogs as well as working full time.
I have some days where I think what the heck have I done but don’t regret my decision. I know he may have to go back into care at some point but I’m making the most of the time we have together. We enjoy going into town on the bus and having a coffee.
I’m getting more support, he goes to a day centre 3 days a week now when I can work without distraction. He also takes Mirtazipine and Melatonin which is helping a lot with the issues we had at night. It hasn’t solved the problem completely, 2 nights ago he had a bad night and he was screaming obscenities and spitting at me. This is the second time this has happened, the first time was a while ago though. I think he may have been over tired. As long as it’s not frequent I’m going to let it go.
I have got single beds to help make the washing easier, and we have got a good routine going.
It’s not an easy decision though, whatever you decide you will think have I made the right choice. It depends how much you’re prepared to put up with to have him home. I totally understand why you’re considering it though.
Wishing you well
Dawn x