My husband, 67,has Diabetes type 1, Parkinsons and dementia. Rapid decline in 5 years! He's been in hospital 5 weeks as no longer safe to leave him alone at home, safeguarding risk to both of us and our house. House and garage a mess as Lockdown stopped a refurb and he was not fit after that. Hoarded. everything even broken CDs. I was 65 last week, made redundant 18 months ago, couldn't work again as husband falling apart. Can't have him home again as he can't be left and he is now declared no medical capacity doesn't understand doing insulin jabs (55 years experience just gone!) So he needs a nursing home. No choice. Medical decision. Doesn't understand or want this. We got married 2 years ago to give me security in the face of his il health but he has since vehemently refused Powers of Attorney, a Will, even Attendance Allowance. We were going to downsize and go travelling. I am not State Pension age yet, just got first month's pension from job. I can't afford to refurb andkeep a 4 bed house on 13k a year, need his savings and State Pension. But I can't sell without Court Order now and Court of Protection guardianship. Both hugely expensive will take years. Husband has enough money to be self funding for a while. I have no idea what costs there will be and I certainly cannot subsidise any top up on 13k a year. I have no idea what's coming as hospital and social services haven't even found a willing nursing home yet. Neither of us has children or other family and our few friends that we have left don't want to know. If I kill myself then the authorities will surely handle his affairs and use my pension lump sum savings to extend care for about six months and then he will be to gaga to know or care what happens. I am terrified, lonely and suicidal, staring into an abyss. Jumping in is the only way to end the uncertainty.
