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Sugar in her coffee

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
Mum told me on the phone call yesterday that she had been out with my Dad (passed away 18yrs ago) and some friends and had a really nice day. Also that she been into town shopping with our Elizabeth and enjoyed that too.
Whether they were dreams or false memories I am glad as she sounded happy.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,639
Yorkshire
Aww bless her. Those sort of mixed up memories/confabulations are nicer and easier to go along with aren’t they, ones that make them happy 😊
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,654
South East
I agree with @annielou , although sad they are happy memories . My man told us she has been to a shoe shop (closed some 50 years before )and had been to Ally Pally dancing , she was happy and content and we went along with it .
 

Leopard

Registered User
Jul 20, 2020
15
Wow, just been reading your thread and on Tuesday you said your mum says there's children running about, so does mine and then asks why cant I come inside care home but it's ok for them kids to run about every day.
I also make a mental list of what I'm going to talk about when I get there, it's hard work just having a quick visit but nice when all goes well, which isnt all the time.
Just wanted to share with you about the children.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
Wow, just been reading your thread and on Tuesday you said your mum says there's children running about, so does mine and then asks why cant I come inside care home but it's ok for them kids to run about every day.
I also make a mental list of what I'm going to talk about when I get there, it's hard work just having a quick visit but nice when all goes well, which isnt all the time.
Just wanted to share with you about the children.
It is strange as it is a consistent complaint. I know I have read other threads where the PWD sees and/or hears children running around. Thanks for sharing
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
Yes it is nice and easier to go along with the good memories @annielou.
did your Mum really going dancing at Ally Pally in her day @Woo2? Mum is always asking me if I went to the dance at the weekend
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
Mum got the receptionist to ring me today. Mum asked when I would be visiting. I said tomorrow at the normal time and place. She said good because the car is getting urgent. I said that ok we can sort it all out tomorrow.
Hopefully we will not have to talk about car issues tomorrow as that might get tricky when she has not been allowed to drive for 2 years and the car was sold then.
Poor Mum she loved driving so much.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,639
Yorkshire
I hope she’ll have forgot about car when she see’s you. Though sometimes can get stuck on a thought for a while often what they worry about one day has been forgotten by the next hasn’t it🤞Its odd the thoughts that pop up though isn’t it I find myself trying to figure out why thought of it but very often can’t.
Hope you have a good visit today 🤞x
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,519
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I remember when my dad was alive and had Parkinson’s with dementia I called in and he was sitting at the top of the stairs laughing and so happy. When I asked him about it he replied, “ i have just been watching my video.” When questioned further he said he had been watch all us little ones playing in the hallway as it was raining and it was on the video in his head. That is how he saw his hallucinations and moe often than not happy ones thankfully.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
I remember when my dad was alive and had Parkinson’s with dementia I called in and he was sitting at the top of the stairs laughing and so happy. When I asked him about it he replied, “ i have just been watching my video.” When questioned further he said he had been watch all us little ones playing in the hallway as it was raining and it was on the video in his head. That is how he saw his hallucinations and moe often than not happy ones thankfully.
Based on most of the hallucinations being happy I do like that description of ‘video in his head’ I still love Mum’s description of my motorbike as ‘a car without a roof and only 2 wheels‘
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
I hope she’ll have forgot about car when she see’s you. Though sometimes can get stuck on a thought for a while often what they worry about one day has been forgotten by the next hasn’t it🤞Its odd the thoughts that pop up though isn’t it I find myself trying to figure out why thought of it but very often can’t.
Hope you have a good visit today 🤞x
Fortunately the car and it’s issue had gone on today’s visit. She did mix me up between being her daughter and being her sister. She asked me if I had been out dancing at the weekend and I said No I’m too old and stood up and did a silly dance saying with these dodgy knees and hips you must be joking. For once the smile went to her eyes again. The lady who Mum does not like wandered into her room and fortunately because Mum was in a good mood she politely told her and guided her out of the room and then shut the door on her. Yes she did talk a lot of nonsense but as generally content for once.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,639
Yorkshire
Sounds like a good-ish visit. Shame about the mixing you up, but glad her mood was good. Also glad car issue gone today and she was in a nice mood and polite to the interloper lady. The dance sounds like fun no wonder your mum smiled, that's something I'd do lol. I wish it was still the days when you could go out to dances at the weekend in your best frock, mind you I doubt I'd be able to do any of the dances, but I bet it was fun.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,654
South East
I agree on the whole sounds an ok visit , I can just imagine your mum chuckling at your funny dance . Glad the car was forgotten for now and that the unwanted lady was dealt with calmly and politely . I like the description of bike 😅 Very true .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
I think I was thinking about going to dances on a Saturday night when @Woo2 mentioned her Mum going to Ally Pally For dances. I guess I had the 70’s disco Saturday night fever etc ☺😊 was my teenage years
And talking about bikes - watch out for my new profile picture if I can work out how to change it - new motorbike coming next week - hurrah 😀
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,092
Dorset
I found it difficult to hold a conversation with The Banjoman when he was in his Care home so goodness knows how difficult it is under current Covid circumstances.
When I first started helping with the Bat rescue🦇 he found it interesting and amusing but within six months it was difficult to keep his mind on anything and he certainly had no interest in anything I had been doing.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
I found it difficult to hold a conversation with The Banjoman when he was in his Care home so goodness knows how difficult it is under current Covid circumstances.
When I first started helping with the Bat rescue🦇 he found it interesting and amusing but within six months it was difficult to keep his mind on anything and he certainly had no interest in anything I had been doing.
Really lucky where we live as we often have bats flying around which I think is a privilege to see (along with the owl).
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
So this mornings visit under the ‘new conditions’ was not too bad. The ‘minder’ sat outside in the corridor as she could see how agitated Mum was getting when she was in the room. Mum did not say anything about the move back to the 2nd floor (dementia) and her original room. However she did have a very swollen finger. It was double the normal size and blue/black. I find it very annoying that Mum can be given antibiotics to treat the swelling but cannot be given painkillers without her consent and she was refusing them. I really believe she does not have the capacity to do that anymore and did not realise what they were asking.
I believe she was in pain so the visit unsurprisingly was not brilliant. It was also shorter because of minder.
I rang up to find out what had happened to her finger but it seems that staff just noticed it was a little swollen on Sunday evening and then sent photos to GP on Monday who prescribed antibiotics as the swelling had increased.
I then received a phone call at 5.30pm to say GP had said to take Mum to A&E as swelling was now up her hand as well.
Another phone call at 6.20pm to say could I come down to A&E as she had refused to go into the hospital and tried to run away along the main road (prevented by a paramedic)
By the time I arrived the Carers had managed to get her inside and she was in a room but refusing treatment.
Basically the Dr wanted to sedate Mum so that they could lance the infection.
I sent Carers away as she was more agitated with them there and after an hour I finally managed to get her to take the tablets. I told the consultants that she had taken them and he came in to see Mum again and suddenly Mum said you can look at my finger. So he decided to do it there and then. My Mum was so brave and only let out a little ‘ouch’ yet it must have been so painful. I kept telling her she was doing brilliantly and if it was me I would have been crying as I am such a wimp. He got the finger dressed and at that point Mum suddenly yawned and was out for the count as the tablets had kicked in.
Consultant said she could then be discharged. Rang Care Home to say she would be returning in the next hour (fortunately being new they have an empty wing which they are using as a quarantine area) No bed made up though as they had expected hospital to keep her in. Called OH to come and pick us up. Good job as I could not have got Mum into my car even with the nurse helping as Mum was just dead weight. Got Mum back to Care home but me and OH had to get Mum into a wheel chair and hand her over in the doorway.
It was lovely to give Mum a hug and hold her hand again but obviously not in the circumstances.
she needs to go back to out patients on Thursday. I should be taking her so hopefully we can have a hug again although it will be far from ideal circumstances again. I am also guessing that I will be the ‘baddy’ taking her back to the nasty care home afterwards. A risk I will take.
saddest moment was when she said ‘ your Dad came in here and he didn’t come out’. Yet she has been in hospital 3 times since Dad died (a different hospital) without any hesitations previously
I just wish I could understand Mum better but she just can’t get out the right words most of the time. You can see her frustration too
 
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