Agreed to see the doctor again.

[RM3]

Thank you @Banjomansmate. Yes that is right. Obviously not sure what but he is being checked, so just a wait. Thank you ☺️ x

 

[Spottydog]

Oh dear, I'm sorry to read that things are still tough. I hope your dog is OK.... I agree it's best to take over the dosing but I did wonder if there is some sort of insulin reminder system where your husband can retain some input but you could step in if its not been done right, like an insulin pen ? You are perfectly entitled to feel cross... A very stressful time on many fronts and I hope you get some answers soon xxx

 

[Violet Jane]

I'm afraid that this is another red flag and if he's like that at work I'm not surprised that he's having problems.

I think that you are going to have to check up on the insulin dosing now.

Of course, people do make mistakes but it's a question of frequency and understanding and accepting that you have made a mistake.

 

[canary]

Oh boy, that sounds so familiar @RM3
OH is completely unaware of anything around him that isn't directly involved with him too. The cereal made me laugh I'm sorry to say - he now doesn't even tell me that it's run out, he just leaves the empty box open on the kitchen worksurface to "inform" me that he needs more.....

 

[RM3]

Oh dear, I'm sorry to read that things are still tough. I hope your dog is OK.... I agree it's best to take over the dosing but I did wonder if there is some sort of insulin reminder system where your husband can retain some input but you could step in if its not been done right, like an insulin pen ? You are perfectly entitled to feel cross... A very stressful time on many fronts and I hope you get some answers soon xxx

Hi @Spottydog. I think that I will take that on board. Unfortunately his dose is too high for the pen now, so it’s drawn from the bottle. It was apparent that he felt he does a good job with this and it’s good to make me think about workarounds (which I will). Thank you x

 

[RM3]

I'm afraid that this is another red flag and if he's like that at work I'm not surprised that he's having problems.

I think that you are going to have to check up on the insulin dosing now.

Of course, people do make mistakes but it's a question of frequency and understanding and accepting that you have made a mistake.

Hi @Violet Jane. Thank you - yes I think that I am going to get a routine that means he can still do this but I’m checking somehow. I could draw it up in the needles the night before but there’s a possibility of them going in the sharps bin with the insulin and I won’t know. Going to have a think about it today. Thank you x

 

[RM3]

Oh boy, that sounds so familiar @RM3
OH is completely unaware of anything around him that isn't directly involved with him too. The cereal made me laugh I'm sorry to say - he now doesn't even tell me that it's run out, he just leaves the empty box open on the kitchen worksurface to "inform" me that he needs more.....

Hi @canary. Thank you and I hope things are ok.
It really sometimes is the little things that just tip you over the edge isn’t it.
I think I’ve been really accommodating because I think what if….but wasn’t feeling it yesterday 😬.
I have thought so much lately that anyone studying to care for people living with Dementia, should study forums such as this. It’s not just support, it’s real life ideas and tips to cope the best way possible in different scenarios.
I kind of feel like a bit of fraud sometimes being here but then feel so in sync with so many experiences that it helps give some normality to what is actually going on day to day.
Thank you all x

 

[RM3]

Just updating with a few minor things this past week (again, just to help me refer back).
I have no idea how my husband is keeping his job. He is absolutely determined to hang on to it though. He has not worked in the original room he was in for 2-3 weeks now (since his last slip up with the metal pieces).
He’s under the same supervisor but switching between a cutting room and a polishing room.
I asked him how his day went yesterday. He said ok but that his supervisor was a bit short with him.
I think the polishing (from what I can gather), has to smooth off any edges or rough bits (maybe). He said that he noticed 3 of the pieces he had done still had like teeth along the metal - he took them through about 3 different rooms to get to the supervisors office to ask if they would be ok like that 😬.
I think his supervisor just about lost the will to live and sent him off with a big sigh and said ‘just leave it’. He said he put a note on them for the next person to say that they may need more polishing.
What gets to me most about this is that with his background, he would never accept that level of work. He seems totally unaware of that change and just thinks that people around him are snappy, rude, intolerant and unhelpful. Unless that is, anyone is at all nice to him and then they are his best friend and he enthusiastically tells me all about them.
He had his blood tests this week (I had to tell him 3 days in a row to make sure he told them he had to start and finish early (as I was also, to pick him up and take him).
When I said that he would get the results next week when we go back to the doctors (the doctor booked that with us in the room at the last appointment), he had no idea that we were going back or when or why.
Even with all this thought, I am still somewhat optimistic that it may be some mci, or loss of confidence in his abilities maybe (with the redundancy last year). I am trying to keep an open mind but obviously worried about him. x

 

[Violet Jane]

I have to say that it's surprising that your husband is still in his job. However, having just passed his probationary period he has probably bought himself some time. I think that what's worrying is that your husband has changed in a number of different ways: personality, memory and functioning at work.

 

[RM3]

I have to say that it's surprising that your husband is still in his job. However, having just passed his probationary period he has probably bought himself some time. I think that what's worrying is that your husband has changed in a number of different ways: personality, memory and functioning at work.

Hi @Violet Jane. Yes that is right. I am also surprised at how determined he is to stick it out.
Our son in law booked he and my husband a pool table last week. It gave my daughter and me a bit more insight into his grasping of things.
My son in law had sent him the text from the club with the booking details and it was in 24 hour clock. He thought they were going 7pm to 8pm, as it said 17:00 to 18:00. Then got quite confused reading it back to my daughter and me when we questioned the time. We tried to laugh it off so he didn’t feel bad.
Although I’ve noticed struggles and personality changes, it showed me how he could be struggling at work with measurements etc. Thank you for replying x

 

[Violet Jane]

Everyone can misread something or make a mistake but if it happens often that's a cause for concern. It's also how you respond to the error. If you understand and accept the error when it's pointed out to you or you realise that you've made an error that's one thing. But not understanding or accepting the error is another.

What do your daughter and SIL think?

 

[hillyjay]

What you’ve been telling us could have been me and my husband quite a few years ago now when I first began noticing things which were out of the ordinary for him. Things he could and would always have done were ignored or left to me to deal with while he just sat there.
He had always been quite practical around the house but, yes, that stopped.

His whole working life had been to do with mathematics and numbers. A bit of a metaphorical punch in the stomach therefore when I heard him ask how much we each owed when we shared the bill three ways with the family at a restaurant. Also buying some wood to make some shelves (son doing it!) and asking my son how many lengths of shelf we’d get from that length of wood. The kind of working out he’d excelled at in the past.

At that time when I first began to think something was wrong he had periods of time when he seemed fine and I’d doubt myself, tell myself I was worrying about nothing. Then something else would happen. Even after he was diagnosed I kept wondering if they’d made a mistake, he seemed so normal. Until something else happened.

You’re doing the very best thing and I’m so pleased you managed to get him to see a doctor. It’s the first step in getting things moving. At least he tells you how he feels and what he’s had difficulty with at work. Do start keeping a log of any event that concerns you, however minor it may seem in hindsight. It does help a great deal in the future. I felt so guilty when I began doing this but it was invaluable when it came to dealing with professionals.

 

[hillyjay]

Everyone can misread something or make a mistake but if it happens often that's a cause for concern. It's also how you respond to the error. If you understand and accept the error when it's pointed out to you or you realise that you've made an error that's one thing. But not understanding or accepting the error is another.

What do your daughter and SIL think?

Absolutely right, it’s the reaction to the error which is often a giveaway.

 

[RM3]

Everyone can misread something or make a mistake but if it happens often that's a cause for concern. It's also how you respond to the error. If you understand and accept the error when it's pointed out to you or you realise that you've made an error that's one thing. But not understanding or accepting the error is another.

What do your daughter and SIL think?

Yes that’s right. I think it’s the processing something like that. He was trying to read the numbers out to us to sort the time out, so my daughter asked to look and said what the time was.
We have 3 grown up daughters (one still at home) and they all wish he would retire. They all notice changes and if anything, think he is much more mellow.
Our middle daughter got the full story about the whole department having to close over that other mistake and him leaving early and didn’t know what was going to happen. It was a big big event to him for the whole weekend and then nothing more mentioned.
I notice other things that only I see. A couple of mornings ago, just minutes after my husband left for work, I had a sudden onset of agonising pain (probably worse than childbirth). It lasted half an hour in my side with no let up and I could not even shout upstairs for my daughter, the pain was so intense. Long story short, I didn’t tell anyone and rang the doctors when they opened and asked me to go straight in. Ultrasound next week but sounds like nothing to worry about (almost certain it will be gallstones). I did tell my husband that night and he just said oh ok (in a concerned tone) but then has never mentioned again or asked if I’m ok. I miss that care - especially with my mum recently passing. Sorry, probably rambling a bit now. Thank you x

 

[hillyjay]

@RM3 - I think I’ve written too much here already but I just had to respond to this. I‘ve recently been diagnosed with gallstones too after an ultrasound and guess what? My husband’s reaction was exactly the same. ‘Oh? Ok’.

I‘m so sorry to hear you lost your Mum recently, you’ve got to deal with your grief for her too and that’s when we long for that care. Xx

 

[RM3]

@RM3 - I think I’ve written too much here already but I just had to respond to this. I‘ve recently been diagnosed with gallstones too after an ultrasound and guess what? My husband’s reaction was exactly the same. ‘Oh? Ok’.

I‘m so sorry to hear you lost your Mum recently, you’ve got to deal with your grief for her too and that’s when we long for that care. Xx

Hi @hillyjay. You haven’t written too much at all. I’m so grateful to chat and hear other people’s thoughts and experiences. Posts about early changes and signs, are something I spend a lot of time searching for. So many things are subtle and as you say, normal days make you doubt your concerns.
Of course I don’t like that anyone goes through these things but it is so helpful to read the examples of the earlier signs/symptoms.
Thank you for your kind words on losing my mum. To some extent, my messages on here, would be my texts to my mum to talk it through - so this forum is so much appreciated.
Sorry to hear you suffered with gallstones. If that is what it is, you will probably know the severity of the pain and the feeling of the lack of compassion from your OH that is needed sometimes. Thankfully once it stopped it was completely gone. I hope that you don’t suffer too badly from them? Thank you once again x