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Sugar in her coffee

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Welcome to TP @Can't do it alone . I hope you find it as useful as I have done.

Thank you @Woo2 I had a good day and amazingly I had a ‘normal’ conversation with Mum. It was mainly asking how people were, although she could not remember names she would ask how she was down south east. I managed to tell her that I had ordered her some short sleeved T-shirt’s for the Summer and I hoped she liked them.
strawberries sprayed with soapy mixture on Friday then I worried about the sun yesterday so sprayed them just with water. Will go and inspect later today.
Will catch up with you and annielou over my coffee. Hope you have a lovely day
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Ah brilliant , have to enjoy these moments don’t we . Fingers crossed the soapy spray helps . I have a big pot of coffee on the go, a must for Sunday morning . Have a good day . :)
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Lovely to hear you and your mum had a normal conversation X
Good luck with the strawberries, when I was a kid my dad used slug pellets, didn't think about using natural methods in those days, they were blue and used to look really funny in the strawberry patch among the green leaves, white flowers and red strawberries. We had a rabbit when we were kids and he loved to sneak in to the strawberry patch and nibble strawberries, he never touched the slug pellets though thankfully. When he died we buried him in corner of strawberry patch, we thought he'd be happy there.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,006
We garden organically and you can get organic stuff to get of whitefly etc. I say garden, it's more stuff a few things in pots and see what happens!
Glad you had a better conversation with your mum @Bikerbeth. Maybe she did have some sort of infection that is starting to clear.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Lovely to hear you and your mum had a normal conversation X
Good luck with the strawberries, when I was a kid my dad used slug pellets, didn't think about using natural methods in those days, they were blue and used to look really funny in the strawberry patch among the green leaves, white flowers and red strawberries. We had a rabbit when we were kids and he loved to sneak in to the strawberry patch and nibble strawberries, he never touched the slug pellets though thankfully. When he died we buried him in corner of strawberry patch, we thought he'd be happy there.
That sounds idyllic for your rabbit @annielou , girl’s bunny is buried under the willow tree that she loved to munch on . She was a demon let loose in our veg patch .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
We garden organically and you can get organic stuff to get of whitefly etc. I say garden, it's more stuff a few things in pots and see what happens!
Glad you had a better conversation with your mum @Bikerbeth. Maybe she did have some sort of infection that is starting to clear.
I must admit that generally that is my approach to - plonk a plant in the ground and it has 2 choices. I thought I would try to be a bit more serious this year as I doubt we will be going far
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Well today was good. I arranged with CH to take some summer clothes in for Mum as she does not have any short sleeved t shirts and does tend to be on the warm side. I had ordered online - sewed in name tags and they are going to wash them before they go to Mum. As Mum is now on the ground floor I was able to take a chair round into the garden area and sit outside her room and she had the window open (one that only opens so far). We were able to chat from a distance and generally she was quite like old Mum. A few weird and wonderful comments - at the moment she really believes she has a 3rd child living in Cornwall (but who knows maybe it could be true) She does also think when this is all over she needs to find herself a nice retirement property. Anyway apart from no glasses she looks ok and she was even laughing occasionally so that was good. We chatted for an hour which was nice and when I said I had to go she was ok about it. I was worried she might get upset. I am glad I have seen her :)
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Well today was good. I arranged with CH to take some summer clothes in for Mum as she does not have any short sleeved t shirts and does tend to be on the warm side. I had ordered online - sewed in name tags and they are going to wash them before they go to Mum. As Mum is now on the ground floor I was able to take a chair round into the garden area and sit outside her room and she had the window open (one that only opens so far). We were able to chat from a distance and generally she was quite like old Mum. A few weird and wonderful comments - at the moment she really believes she has a 3rd child living in Cornwall (but who knows maybe it could be true) She does also think when this is all over she needs to find herself a nice retirement property. Anyway apart from no glasses she looks ok and she was even laughing occasionally so that was good. We chatted for an hour which was nice and when I said I had to go she was ok about it. I was worried she might get upset. I am glad I have seen her :)
Thats nice to read, glad to hear your mum was on good form today and you had a good visit through the window.
Its odd the things people seem to fix on though isn't it. Mum is currently fixed on thinking she bought her mum a tv like hers with her redundancy that her brother has probably taken now her mum is dead. Its not true but she is constantly sure it is.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Oh @Bikerbeth that is great 😊 , so pleased for you both. Wonder if there is a chance they will leave Mum in that room ? So glad you got the chance to chat and have a good visit . It is bizarre really the thoughts they have ,strange how the brainmakes up a complete story . Hope you have a nice stroll later .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Hi @Woo2 and @Sarasa
Thank you for caring. I have been following posts but not commenting due to a few difficulties at home.
Mum unfortunately is becoming more confused and even in the mornings she is less coherent and has become quite agitated. She now talks mainly about a house she lived in and people she knew a good 55 years ago and I wonder who she thinks I am as she will say on the phone - do you remember so and so from Mill Lane? Just makes me sad like I am sure it does for many people
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
I’m sorry to hear that @Bikerbeth 😞. Have missed seeing you on here. Hope there is an explanation for Mums increasing confusion and there is something that can be done to help . Sending🤗. Take care . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
So sorry to hear your mum is confused again and more so by the sound of it x It is really sad. Does the home think its an infection or her confusion progressing as it does? Mums confusion and remembering old things more than new is steadily getting worse, I think its the disease progressing rather than infection in mums case but luckily she's not as agitated as ahe was at end of year. Its really hard to see them upset and agitated. I hope there is something to help your mums agitation. Sending big hugs to you and your mum 🤗🤗
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Thank you for both for the hugs. Although not posting you were both in my thoughts. I think with Mum it is the disease progression but probably speeded up by the current situation and me not visiting. The CH were good on the testing side when needed however now with no full time Manager or clinical lead I really don’t like to hassle the Carers. She was being referred to mental health team for meds review but unless serious all Apointments cancelled. I am glad @annielou that your Mum is no longer agitated and fingers and toes crossed it remains that way
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
You are probably right , I know Mum is deteriorating right now due to the lockdown but there is little i can do about it , and if it wasn’t this it would be something else so I am just trying to accept my limitations . It is very difficult for everyone . We have missed you . How is your gardening /veg growing going ?
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,006
@Bikerbeth, your mum sounds a bit like mine in that she is slipping further and further bac in time. For a long while mum seemed to have lost fifteen to twenty years. So she knew I was married and my dad was dead, but she couldn't remember my brother getting married. As we all spend a week in Greece celebrating the event that was a lot to forget. Shortly afterwards she forgot I was married and started blaming my nasty boyfriend, whoever he was, for why she was in the care home.
Over the last year she has gone further and further back in time and is now somewhere in the 1930s hoping her parents are OK. She does refer to me as her daughter and sometimes knows my name, but she also asks after my mum and sister (I haven't got one) so I wonder if she thinks I'm her as she did have a sister.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
@Bikerbeth, your mum sounds a bit like mine in that she is slipping further and further bac in time. For a long while mum seemed to have lost fifteen to twenty years. So she knew I was married and my dad was dead, but she couldn't remember my brother getting married. As we all spend a week in Greece celebrating the event that was a lot to forget. Shortly afterwards she forgot I was married and started blaming my nasty boyfriend, whoever he was, for why she was in the care home.
Over the last year she has gone further and further back in time and is now somewhere in the 1930s hoping her parents are OK. She does refer to me as her daughter and sometimes knows my name, but she also asks after my mum and sister (I haven't got one) so I wonder if she thinks I'm her as she did have a sister.
Thank you, Yes I think you are right they do seem very similar. What is still strange is that she is consistently mentioning a 3rd child (boy) who lives in the Midlands (I have 1 brother) and I can’t work out who she is thinking of . She does also mention her father visiting or not visiting far more nowadays.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
That is strange about your mum mentioning another boy child @Bikerbeth . Does it make you wonder if there is something in past maybe a miscarriage or something not talked about as people often didn't in days gone by. Is your mum one of 3 and she's mixing that up? My mum often asks now if she only has two daughters/children. She has said on and off for quite a while there is our ...(sis) our Andrea and me the other one. I think in mums case its because she doesn't realise I'm me, she doesn't recognise me as this age but feels a connection and sometimes picks up on me calling her mum so thinks I'm not one of the two she can remember so I must be another of her children. My mum memory seems to be stuck about 30 years ago with a bit earlier mixed in too.
I am constantly amazed and surprised by what a person with dementias mind comes up with and don't suppose we'll ever really understand it. Wishing you lots of love and 🤗
 

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