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Sugar in her coffee

Tomolly10

New member
Mar 28, 2020
3
Looking back, an early indicator of my wife's dementia was when she started asking me whether I took milk and sugar in my coffee, as if we were casual acquaintances rather than partners for 40 years. It is often the small things that seem to mean the most.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,732
South East
Oh can you keep them clouds there then please. ;)It’s reasonably sunny here , wind started yesterday . Have a good day .
 

Tomolly10

New member
Mar 28, 2020
3
My Husband of 59 yrs now has sugar in his tea and coffee. Also he always asks me if I want sugar and I have not had sugar in either ever.!!! Strange.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,190
Bedford
My Husband of 59 yrs now has sugar in his tea and coffee. Also he always asks me if I want sugar and I have not had sugar in either ever.!!! Strange.
Hi @Tomolly10 and welcome to TP. Lots of lovely people here. I think I read that the sense of taste changes for a person with Alzheimer’s. I must admit I have only seen Mum put sugar in her coffee 3 times since I first posted it on here. I think I was just so surprised at the time.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,190
Bedford
Staff rang me from CH today so that Mum could talk to me. She asked me if I could meet her up the road as she needed 20 mins of my time to help her write a letter to the Ministry of Health as they had not replied to her first letter. She wanted to leave as the working conditions are so bad. Am annoyed though as apparently she has not got her glasses on again today as she can’t find them. Surely most people in a CH wear glasses especially at 90 so why don’t they prompt her in the morning. Sorry a little thing when so much going on but I keep asking and it is in her care plan
 

sadWife11*

New member
Mar 27, 2020
8
Since Mum was formally diagnosed at the end of January I have kept a notebook with significant changes in her behaviour. In a weird way and despite reading about Alzheimer’s and a desire for sweet things this one just became poignant. I have never known Mum in 55+ years to put sugar in coffee or tea but in the cafe today she picked up a sugar packet and emptied into the mug, afterwards saying how nice the coffee was there.
My 68 yr old husband has always had a very healthy lifestyle, and that included never taking sweet things. Now he loves anything sweet. A complete change of taste.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,080
Yorkshire
You'd think like you say lots of residents would wear glasses so it would be natural to look and prompt them to put them on. I know they are easy things to take off and put down in lots of places but surely they must come across them and then return to resident.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,190
Bedford
Generally it is a case that Mum forgets to put them on because she forgets where she put them the night before. A case of out of sight out of mind. Her sight in one eye is quite good as it was corrected quite well when she had her cataract operation last year so I guess it is not a major issue but the staff don’t know that
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,732
South East
Mum has one of the string things on her glasses but she takes the blinking thing off and loses her glasses all the time ! It’s so frustrating .
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
1,775
Dorset
Ah, the disappearing glasses. As far as I am aware it is one of the natural progressions of dementia. I am surprised that it doesn’t appear on every list of symptoms.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,691
North West
I had the same issues over spectacles, and found it was a mix of either mum wandering and putting them somewhere or the care staff (agency) not identifying that she wears them. Last time I vsited mum she was convinced she didn't wear them :rolleyes: -God only knows where the specs are now with no visiting 🤨
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,211
My mother lost her glasses within days, but it doesn't really matter as she refused to wear them anyway! She seems to be able to see okay without them, she can even read a magazine. She won't use any type of 'aid' whether its a walking aid or specs. She arrived with a walking stick and it has never left her wardrobe.

Re your comments about CH payment, I am surprised they are so inflexible. My mother's CH accepts either a monthly cheque or standing order, I use the latter. Her care agency accepted either cheque or bank transfer.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,190
Bedford
So yesterday’s phone call started getting quite nasty with Mum as in ‘I did not care about her and that was why I as not visiting’ whereas ‘your brother rings me daily’
I must admit I said no one could leave their houses at the moment unless to go to work and she said she knew that but even so I should still visit her. I gave up at that point. I think the reality is she just wants me to go to see her as she knows that I would take her out for a walk. Trying to arrange a Skype call for today or tomorrow to see how that goes.
After not shopping for 10 days I went to the new world of supermarket shopping. (No delivery or click/collect slots our way or I don’t try at the right time of the day). Took latex type gloves and headed for just gone 10. No queue to get in. Apart from flour and multipurpose cleaner I got everything I needed. Will go down the farm fruit and veg place as needed and maybe local small shop for milk and bread so hopefully will not need to go our for another fortnight or so if we get creative with food.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,732
South East
:( Sorry to hear it wasn’t a great call with mum , think you bailed out at the right time , funny how they know to try the so and so does more thing , hope the video /Skype call goes better . Shopping experience sounds not too bad . Hubby will not let me out and we have no milk or eggs and my biscuit supply is getting perilously low o_O. Good luck getting creative .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,190
Bedford
@Woo2 If hubby will not let you out then I think he needs to head out for biscuit supplies or Perhaps the ‘bickering girls’ might like to make their hard working Mum some. These are essentials.
skype call booked with Mum for tomorrow morning
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,080
Yorkshire
Sorry such a bad call I hope tomorrows skype call is better, its awful when they start saying you don't care and are upset with you but cant understand real reason why. I think you did right to try explain reason why in case it worked and defused it but when it didn't left it and hope next times better. I'm not as good at that but trying.
Food shop sounds like picked good time to go, our tesco was quiet yeaterday morning too so maybe a good time to go.
Mums hobnobs and blue ribands were missing off our order @Woo2 and we went last week the biscuit aisle was almost empty. Going to have to track down some hobnobs for mum as 2 or 3 of those with a cuppa are her breakfast.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,732
South East
Hope the call with mum goes ok today 🤞be nice to see each other . Hubby won’t go out either ! He says we can make do with what we have :rolleyes: , have our shopping delivered weekly but I haven’t been able to get a slot so ships beckon at some point soon. I sneaked our last night to our local Tesco express but the queue was long so didn’t stop. Have a good day .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,732
South East
Empty biscuit aisle :eek:o_O that is my ides of a nightmare , I am a complete biscuit monster. Not bothered had no toilet roll for 3 weeks but no biscuits would do it . Hope you manage to get some for mum . X