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It is indeed a bit strange. Mum has not put sugar in her coffee since but does ‘pinch’ sugar cubes out of bowls which she would never have done beforeyes my Mum too, as long as I've lived she never took sugar in tea, one day when I made her tea, she told me I hadn't put sugar in it. I told her she didn't take sugar, she assured me she did? One of many new things.
I hear you. It is very difficult. Dad still lives at home .But when he was in respite he never joined in .He reminded me of Victor Meldrew. Never happy unless he was moaning. Still the same at home now.Yesterday’s phone call started off ok but ended up ‘when are you coming to see me’. You have T (OH) but I have nobody and nobody comes to see me. Today Mum got staff to ring me and I was asked if I had been away, I said no I had not been anywhere as I had a bad back. She said she was going into town shortly to get some stockings and other odds and ends but she would appreciate if I visited her as soon as possible. If I say ‘soon’ then she seems to remember this, if I say I am not allowed due to ‘bug’ going round she tells me she has been out and about. It is horrible to see this further decline and I guess I will never know whether the lockdown has made it worse. Mum just thinks I don’t like her. I totally appreciate one rule does not fit all and absolutely each one of us is different but I do feel that if this lock down continues in CH’s until end of year which has been mentioned I begin to feel it is quantity not quality that is being considered. However I am sure if Mum had a physical ailment and mentally Mum was fine and understood what was going on I would feel totally different. I do not mean to offend anyone as I say we are all different and our PWD’s are all different. I just hear Mum so confused and unhappy. She rarely joins in the activities and you will see her at the back of photos with arms crossed and scowling whilst other residents are joining in and smiling.
What a day! I hope your mum improves. Let’s hope that they get the samples needed. I hope your feeling okay today and not too stressed.Had a chat with brother about various things and he said that Mum had been confused on the phone in the morning. Just before lunch CH rang me and said Mum was throwing water over other residents and staff from a jug and was screaming at everyone. Would I talk to her as a distraction. I said Yes but although I called to her from the phone on speaker all I could hear was her screaming at everyone saying they were trying to trap her in the room and it was not me on the phone because she knew I had a car and would drive to see her. They asked me if I would go over as by now Mum had managed to get 2 glass jugs in her hands. Drove over and was told yesterday they had tried to get a sample from Mum using a cammode which Mum had just wheeled out of her room in anger and aimed its wheels at other residents shouting she did not need this. When I arrived Mum was in the residents lounge and they opened the window so I could talk to her but it took her a few minutes to recognise me. She then shut the doors and told the staff to stay out. Fortunately she did not realise that the only other resident in there had a carer sitting with him. I said a bright hello to her and she started talking to me but little made sense. I then asked her if she would please go to her room so we could more privately as I could not hear her due to the broken down pipe gushing water out but she did not need to bring the water jug with her. Fortunately she put it down and with a suspicious look did come into her room. She did try to open door but I said that was not allowed because of the nasty bug going round. I gave her time to think about it and then repeated and she said she understood. After a bit more of a chat I asked her about throwing water at other residents but she said it was only staff she had thrown water at and she was protecting some of the residents from the staff who had been throwing water at the residents. I said I could understand her concern but if me and my brother had done that when we were little she would have told us off and told us we should have told a person in authority. I said next time she should tell the Manager. I doubt whether she will remember but it was worth a try. She was generally talking nonsense. She did alternate through stroppy and then would be ok for a while but ended up a little calmer and eventually she did say to me - you had better go as you will get soaking wet (I was standing outside with raincoat and umbrella as it was bucketing it down)
Had a chat on the phone with the new deputy manager who is in charge of the nursing/carer team. She confirmed that they were trying to test for infections and that the aggression had started a 3 days ago. They had been trying to get hold of the mental health team without success and were now trying to get the GP to review her meds. I will get an update either today or Monday. I also mentioned to her as a reminder ( although it is in Mum’s care plan,) if she gets ‘stroppy’ it is sometimes best to leave her alone and put some animal or house/garden programme on, on the tv In her room than perhaps get her involved in an activity.
I have also been advised that a new Manager has now been appointed too. In these challenging times it should help a little more. The new manager is a man and Mum also tends to respond better to men. I know he will not be looking after Mum at such but maybe a male authority figure may help.