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- Thread starter elaine n
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Hello Elaine. I have not said much but I am following news of you and Gary.
It is hard handing over care. Those of us who have done it understand your feelings and I know you willl still be caring for Gary but in a different way.
Enjoy your time with your daughter. I hope you can see Gary soon
I see nothing wrong with that - phone more times if you need. They may then call you back.
It is hard handing over care. Those of us who have done it understand your feelings and I know you willl still be caring for Gary but in a different way.
Enjoy your time with your daughter. I hope you can see Gary soon
Elaine
Hi You,
I can feel you are getting more relaxed. Giving thoughts to what you know will be, one way or another.
We did'ntchat much about our families on our day out. Not enough time.
I am so pleased to know you will haveyour daughter with you. She will be a great comfort and support to her Mum. The fact of her just being with you. Maybe do something nice together, even if its a walk with your doggies.
It looks nice out from my window, have the washing on the go.
Will off to my Mum's later, its her bath, bed changing day, meal preparing etc.
I hope by now the hospital will have a clear idea, just what they need to do to calm and keep your Gary sable. I am sure he won't leave there, till they are happy that he is as best as he can be.He is in the best hands now Elaine, don't forget that.
Take care.
Smile and love from the seaside to little old you.
Sonia xxxxx
Hi You,
I can feel you are getting more relaxed. Giving thoughts to what you know will be, one way or another.
We did'ntchat much about our families on our day out. Not enough time.
I am so pleased to know you will haveyour daughter with you. She will be a great comfort and support to her Mum. The fact of her just being with you. Maybe do something nice together, even if its a walk with your doggies.
It looks nice out from my window, have the washing on the go.
Will off to my Mum's later, its her bath, bed changing day, meal preparing etc.
I hope by now the hospital will have a clear idea, just what they need to do to calm and keep your Gary sable. I am sure he won't leave there, till they are happy that he is as best as he can be.He is in the best hands now Elaine, don't forget that.
Take care.
Smile and love from the seaside to little old you.
Sonia xxxxx
I've spoken to Gary on the phone! He sounded slurred but they've increased his medication so that's to be expected. I asked if he was missing me and he said he was and when I asked if he'd feel better if I came to see him he said yes so I'm going in to see him this afternoon!
I know it may not be a brilliant visit, in fact I'm sure it won't but it's a start. He's still on one to one watch so I know I'll be safe with him xxxxe
I know it may not be a brilliant visit, in fact I'm sure it won't but it's a start. He's still on one to one watch so I know I'll be safe with him xxxxeHello Elaine - I do hope you have a good visit today, but don't expect too much! I think about you so much as we haven't quite reached your stage yet, but I am fearful that we will. I think you are exceptional in what you have done and I am sure you are now feeling stronger and more able to face the future. Good luck with looking at the homes. Take care. Sox
Glad you are able to see Garry today hoping and praying it will go as well as can be expected
Love and support "my Lovely"
still practising the accent as you can see
Sarah
Love and support "my Lovely"
still practising the accent as you can see
Sarah
The visit was very upsetting but not half as bad as it could have been.
When we arrived Gary was in the day room with other people and of course a nurse, he's still on one to one watch. He looked very surprised to see us but at least he recognised us. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked quite ill. He hates it there and is very hostile towards the staff - he still remembers them having to restrain him but doesn't remember why they had to. He kept telling me they were doing horrible things to him and bullying him, he wants to come home. We kept reassuring him and telling him things would improve as he got better but he has no conception that he's ill, he seems to think he's being punished. He was very tired and we went back to his room so he could lie down and he started to get restless, wanting to leave but somehow Paul and I managed to calm him enough so he stayed in his room. He was tearful and kept telling me this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him and that I didn't understand. Eventually I managed to get him to lie down and stroked his hair until he went to sleep and then we left. I think I've put my recovery back by a couple of days but I'm glad I went and hope it helped him. I'll ring the ward this evening to see if there were any repercussions after we'd gone
When we arrived Gary was in the day room with other people and of course a nurse, he's still on one to one watch. He looked very surprised to see us but at least he recognised us. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked quite ill. He hates it there and is very hostile towards the staff - he still remembers them having to restrain him but doesn't remember why they had to. He kept telling me they were doing horrible things to him and bullying him, he wants to come home. We kept reassuring him and telling him things would improve as he got better but he has no conception that he's ill, he seems to think he's being punished. He was very tired and we went back to his room so he could lie down and he started to get restless, wanting to leave but somehow Paul and I managed to calm him enough so he stayed in his room. He was tearful and kept telling me this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him and that I didn't understand. Eventually I managed to get him to lie down and stroked his hair until he went to sleep and then we left. I think I've put my recovery back by a couple of days but I'm glad I went and hope it helped him. I'll ring the ward this evening to see if there were any repercussions after we'd gone
well done Elaine I'm so glad Paul went too. Does he live nearby?
I'm so glad that you are having the opportunity to recoup and that Gary is able to be assessed properly
About the gravel . . . . we've just had a ton delivered yesterday to redo out drive don't think my offering will help much!
Much Love as always Sarah
I'm so glad that you are having the opportunity to recoup and that Gary is able to be assessed properly
About the gravel . . . . we've just had a ton delivered yesterday to redo out drive don't think my offering will help much!
Much Love as always Sarah
Hi Elaine,
Well done on facing your first visit. My memories of my dad's assessment unit are that it wasn't the nicest of places, but it was a relief that my dad was safe and being looked after by people who knew what they were doing, and understood that my dad was ill. (He had previously been in a general hospital where he was treated as if he were a naughty boy).
Handing over care is difficult and it takes a while before you can trust others to do it. You're not giving up your caring role, just trusting others to take over the burden of a part of it whilst Gary is assessed. I hope now you've visited you will be reassured that Gary is in good hands.
xx
Well done on facing your first visit. My memories of my dad's assessment unit are that it wasn't the nicest of places, but it was a relief that my dad was safe and being looked after by people who knew what they were doing, and understood that my dad was ill. (He had previously been in a general hospital where he was treated as if he were a naughty boy).
Handing over care is difficult and it takes a while before you can trust others to do it. You're not giving up your caring role, just trusting others to take over the burden of a part of it whilst Gary is assessed. I hope now you've visited you will be reassured that Gary is in good hands.
xx
Hello Elaine , Good you were able to visit Gary tho very hard for you & at least you
know Gary is being well looked after & is safe
Sending much Love & Support to you & Gary
Take Care & postive vibes you can relax a bit & are able to do some thing nice this Week End ( is your Daughter still with you ? )
Love & BIG HUGS ( you are in my thoughts Elaine )
Love Grove x x
know Gary is being well looked after & is safe
Sending much Love & Support to you & Gary
Take Care & postive vibes you can relax a bit & are able to do some thing nice this Week End ( is your Daughter still with you ? )
Love & BIG HUGS ( you are in my thoughts Elaine )
Love Grove x x
I am always thinking of you Elaine, give your Gary a hug for me, love Pauline xx
Oh and of course one for you too xxxxxx
Oh and of course one for you too xxxxxx
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Hello Elaine, well done on your first visit. At least Gary still recognised you and responded to your ministrations.
Will be thinking about you this weekend and hoping things go calmly. Have you looked up the details of any homes yet? Would your daughter help you with that a bit, I wonder? Two heads might be better than one, perhaps. Possibly.
Will be thinking about you this weekend and hoping things go calmly. Have you looked up the details of any homes yet? Would your daughter help you with that a bit, I wonder? Two heads might be better than one, perhaps. Possibly.
I didn't see Gary today but Paul did and Gary's daughter visited as well, she's staying in the area this weekend. Paul said he was much better today and the visit went well, he seemed much calmer and didn't talk about wanting to get of of there although he's still hostile towards the staff and other patients. I'm going tomorrow morning and Gary's other son will be visiting too so fingers crossed he'll be ok then.
Word has spread round the village like wild fire (as it does!) and my house now looks like a florists shop and some people have been to see me - people are so kind - BUT ...I now have a problem. My 'closest' friend who hasn't bothered to ring or come to see me for over a year now, well, since this was diagnosed really, (she lives just up the road) but tells me on the odd occassion we bump into each other in passing that she 'thinks of me often' is now trying to see me. She called today but I didn't answer the door to her, I just couldn't have been pleasant. It's too little, too late as far as I'm concerned. I know it's petty and mean spirited of me but I just can't help it. She has a chronic illness and I was her main carer for a year and supported her through many a crisis but when my need was great she just disappeared and I feel so hurt by this. She and her husband are staying next door tonight to look after my neighbours dogs while they're at a wedding so she'll probably try again tomorrow. I know what I want to say to her but don't feel strong enough at the moment so I just avoid seeing her. I hate confrontation but I also need to get things off my chest
Word has spread round the village like wild fire (as it does!) and my house now looks like a florists shop and some people have been to see me - people are so kind - BUT ...I now have a problem. My 'closest' friend who hasn't bothered to ring or come to see me for over a year now, well, since this was diagnosed really, (she lives just up the road) but tells me on the odd occassion we bump into each other in passing that she 'thinks of me often' is now trying to see me. She called today but I didn't answer the door to her, I just couldn't have been pleasant. It's too little, too late as far as I'm concerned. I know it's petty and mean spirited of me but I just can't help it. She has a chronic illness and I was her main carer for a year and supported her through many a crisis but when my need was great she just disappeared and I feel so hurt by this. She and her husband are staying next door tonight to look after my neighbours dogs while they're at a wedding so she'll probably try again tomorrow. I know what I want to say to her but don't feel strong enough at the moment so I just avoid seeing her. I hate confrontation but I also need to get things off my chest
I've felt so hurt by her being missing from my life Izzy, I really thought she was a special friend. But it feels like now I'm no fun and can't be useful to her I don't count
\perhaps she feels inadequate its a bit like grief I suppose poeple dont know what to say (re Gary) so thay say nothingNot the right response or answer to any situation, anyway why am I saying this ????
you know all the answers so I dont need to tell you
you are fun it just that at the moment its not a fun time
we all think your "Special"
So take that which ever way you like "my lovely"
Love and support
Sarah
Glad your house is like a florists
hope you dont suffer from hayfever
I do suffer from hayfever actually Sarah my lovely! but I'm getting away with it! The older I get, the less i suffer, thankfully! xPS Her mother had VaD and I helped her through that as well
Oh Elaine I am so sorry about your closest friend I know how hurtful it is - it has happened to me as well. I know it's no excuse but I really don't think they know what to say or do. I even saw mine crossing the street one day so as not to meet me!
I am not sure what the answer is - perhaps if you speak to her now understandably you may say too much so it might be more positive for you to "be too busy" and try to avoid her. At least we have all found out who our true friends are - all the TP members. Thinking of you. Take care an sleep well. Sox
I am not sure what the answer is - perhaps if you speak to her now understandably you may say too much so it might be more positive for you to "be too busy" and try to avoid her. At least we have all found out who our true friends are - all the TP members. Thinking of you. Take care an sleep well. Sox
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