on duty 24 hours a day!

[Grannie G]

Good morning Elaine and Circle of Friends

Hope we all have a good day today, but especially those of us who are troubled.

 

[sonia owen]

Morning All

Glad you are taking this lovely circle of friends advice. They won't let you fall. I want some of what ever they are on !!!!

I hope you can manage to talk to Gary, or a member of staff,sometime today.

Take care Elaine

Love and a big hug from me and woof and lick from Ash xxxxx

 

[elaine n]

thank you x

 

[danny]

Hi Elaine, just popping in to say I hope you are as ok as can be .

Thinking of you, Angela.

 

[CaPattinson]

Dear Elaine, I'm here too. I think about you both every day. Please look after yourself. Although I know you're heartbroken and so very emotionally weary and feeling wretched, you can do it, you both will get through this, I promise!!! I believe in you so much. xxx

 

[Jo1958]

Elaine, hi
Thinking of you and Gary today, I hope some form of healing happens for you this week, or next.

I'm chasing SS for another day, although now they have booked hubby into a care home for the week that I need to take care of my mum while she has her breast cancer operation, but they are only registered for over 65s, so we are now waiting to see if they can get permission to take my young hubby or if it's all up in the air again, oola!

Take good care of yourself, we are all there to help and support, with kind regards from Jo

 

[thatwoman]

Hi Elaine,

I hope you take all the good advice given to you! I know it must be really hard for you, but Gary may really not know how long it's been since he saw you. When I visit Dad, if I pop out to the loo, he greets me as though he hasn't seen me in years, but when I've been away for a few days, he doesn't seem to notice.

Use your time to relax and build up your strength. You'll need it soon enough, either finding a home for Gary or fighting for a care package at home. But today you need to concentrate on you.

Love and hugs,

Sue xxx

 

[creativesarah]

lots of support today (and everyday)
love Sarah

 

[larivy]

Hi Elaine hope your taking them doggies for nice long walks and having a relaxing time I've got a little dog here you could take trouble is he thinks his a bull mastiff especially when big dogs are around
Keep well Elaine thinking of you and Gary love larivy

 

[elaine n]

I've had a frustrating day today trying to get information from the assessment unit
Rang this morning but couldn't speak to anyone because they were shortstaffed - could I ring back after 11 am? Rang at 11.15 but the only staff nurse was on her break (that's reasonable, of course she should have breaks) so I spoke to a care assistant who could only tell me that so far Gary had been lovely this morning, no she didn't know if I could visit but could the staff nurse phone me back? I drove myself mad waiting for the call (which never came) but at least the nervous energy made me clean the house at last!
I rang this evening, no answer so I rang later and got another CA who finally told me that gary's had a calm day but is still on code 3 watch (always in sight of a member of staff) and that the informal section has lapsed and they haven't put a formal section in place so...good news but it was really hard to get the info today. I still don't know when I can visit so I'll be on the phone tomorrow morning again - I'm probably driving them mad phoning them 3 times a day

 

[Grannie G]

It's early days yet, Elaine, even though it might seem ages to you. It's very good news no formal section is in place, so something to be thankful for.
One day at a time. X

 

[elaine n]

I know Sylvia but I just want to see him to make sure he's alright.
It's hard handing over care isn't it?

 

[susankell]

I know exactly how you feel Elaine and empathise. My brother and I have been looking after my father for the past 18 months. I do the days he does the nights. We only get the standard 4 hrs respite per week yet are expected to do the other 164 hrs ourselves!!! We have been fighting this battle with Social Services for about a year now but that is not the only battle. We have to contend with all the "professionals" who actually seem to conspire to make our (unpaid) jobs more difficult. Just this week they took our Dad off his Alzheimer's medication just like that! No reducing the dosage just stopped. Consequently he went into total withdrawal - shaking, jerking, twitching, convulsing, hallucinating, unable to speak/eat/drink properly as he had been before. I was livid! I think it's time we all stood up and demanded better support. The amount of money we save the government is billions every year. Yet they continually fail to provide us with the support required to continue looking after our loved ones. Fortunately, due to our care and attention, our Dad's final stage of life is as comfortable as possible. But to have it screwed up by the so called medical profession angers me so much I am sure I am going to take this to the national press. That's my whinge and I hope you can get your loved the right medication/support to make your job easier. All the best, Susan

If this was a paid job it would be against the law!
I'm on duty 24 hrs a day with little sleep, no meal breaks, no time to myself, no loo breaks without someone waiting outside the door. I think the strain is beginning to tell, I feel worn down, hopeless and helpless. I'm so tired but know tonight will be the same as last night and the night before and the night before that........endless wandering and making a mess in the bathroom if i don't wake up to help. Tonight I feel like a miserable, worn out old woman at 58! We've now got a sitter for 2hrs 2 days a week and a day hospital place once a week to start this week but just at this moment, I feel completely shot even though I know I should be grateful for the help I'm getting. Gary's been up 6 times this evening already, I don't want to go to bed, even though I'm exhausted because it's even worse to be woken up from a brief sleep to be on duty again. Sorry! Moan over, just feeling sorry for myself

 

[danny]

Sylvia is right Elaine, but you must be going through agony.

I really don`t know what to say this evening.At least there are people like Sylvia who understand.I just keep thinking what I would do if it were my husband.

Your story/experience is one that has affected me the most on here and I think it is probably because of the speed in which your circumstances have changed so much.
I hope you can get a bit of sleep tonight Elaine because you will need all the rest you can get to see you through all of this.

Catch up soon, Angela.

 

[creativesarah]

evening "my lovely" been practising my accent!
sorry its been so hard to get any update it must be so frustrating
Hope you havnt had too much rain today
Lots of love Sarah

 

[elaine n]

Hi Angela
i feel stronger every day so I know I'll be alright in the end. I'll ring in the morning to see if I can visit but won't spend the day torturing myself if I can't - I'll find something esle to do with myself. My daughter's coming to stay the night tomorrow so that will be lovely. I know it's out of my hands now, he's either going to be able to come home or not - if they can't stabilise him I know I can't do this again so next week I'm going to have to look at care homes if not for permanent care I'll need one for respite, I couldn't expect the family to help out now

 

[creativesarah]

I'm so glad that your looking for respite/care homes and how fab to have your daughter coming

 

[nellbelles]

Elaine..Well you are doing well lady!

One day at a time..

One decision at a time..

Oh.. one glass of wine at a time

((HUGS))

LOve Helen. X

 

[elaine n]

My first laugh of today Helen and its only just gone 7 !
xxxxxe

 

[grove]

Hello Elaine , Sending much Love , Support & Prayer's to you at this hard time for you & Gary

Do hope you able to relax & enjoy having your Daughter with you


Take Care


Love & Hugs Love Grove x x x