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'If I get like that, put me in a home'

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,798
Chester
Mum's memory didn't used to be the most overt of her symptoms, her lack of logic was much more obvious.
When my mum first had her crisis her lack of logic was the worst bit - she did have memory issues as well.

Everyone assumed the memory would be more of an issue when they spoke to me, but it wasn't.

It is now but that is 6 years later.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,369
I was back in today to help celebrate World Book Day. I might be retired, but I can't stop being a librarian! It was fun, making up a poem, or at least the start of one about Scouts and Guides. The residents are so varied in their capabilities and disabilities. Mum didn't really engage with the process, but she did say a few things and thanks to a clued up carer managed to slip away at lunch time, just as she started getting cross.
I'm not sure if she remembers the fun of Tuesday or not, but she still likes her handbag, which she thinks her dad gave to her.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,246
Yorkshire
Oh I'm so jealous you were a librarian Sarasa. I wanted to do that in my teens. I did a 3 week work placement at our local library and absolutely loved it and really wanted to be one. I did ask careers officer at school how to become one but he was as much use as a chocolate fireguard and all he said was you'd have to go to uni but I don't know where. :rolleyes: This was pre having internet so I couldn't just google it so I asked Librarian at library I'd worked in and she got me some info on a course I could do but it was in scotland and I was scared of living away and we couldn't afford it anyway. To be honest I doubt I was clever enough to go to uni anyway. She said I could be a library assistant without going to uni though so I kept looking for those jobs for a while but none came up in our area apart from one just as I left school. It was working in a college library in next town but I got a rejection letter stating I was younger than most of the students and they were looking for someone with a bit of experience. So in the september after I left school I started on a yts for the post office. I did get a date stamp and we used to file the pension books in alphabetical order but that was probably the only similarity 😟
I carried on looking out for a library assistant job for a while but eventually gave up on it. I did see a library assistant job advertised a couple of years after I got married and I almost applied, but I was scared I wouldn't get it and even if i did I was scared to swap jobs in case didn't work out, we had a mortgage and bills to pay etc so I didn't apply and I often regretted it. 😟
Glad you enjoyed book day and mum joined in a bit. Glad she still likes her handbag even though not her dad that gave it her x
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,369
Maybe when you get a chance you could do some volunteering in a library or a charity bookshop @annielou. I loved my job, though don't get me started on the way austerity has made it almost impossible for public and school libraries to exist.
Anyway back to mum. I had a phone call on Monday to say mum was refusing to walk as her knees hurt, but they got her going and there was no immediate cause for concern. By today she'd more or less forgotten about it and the senior carer didn't think it was worth putting her on the list for the GPs visit tomorrow. Mum was quite cheerful and we had fun doing chair exercises, the activities co-ordinator is very good at making it fun. Mum can follow the instructions quite well, and her flexibility is still good, even though her walking is now very poor. I still don't think I'll get anywhere with suggestion a frame or a walking stick though.
At the end the manager came in to tell the residents and the co-ordinator that due to covid-19 all visitors coming to the home to take activities have been suspended, and that visits out will probably not be happening either. At the moment relatives can visit, so I'm going back next week to carry on with the poem writing. I felt so sorry for the co-ordinator and even more so for the singers and other visitors who will be having a real hit to their income.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,369
Well it's eleven months since mum moved into care. I haven't seen her since the middle of March as the home went into lockdown. I've walked up there a few times to drop things off and I've been looking out for her in the regular pictures on Facebook. With her poor eyesight and my poor hearing I've decided trying to phone or skype would just be frustrating for us both.
Today I had the email I've been expecting and dreading. The home has a case of Covid-19. As I got the general email I know it won't be mum, but I do hope she manages Ok if she is kept to her room, as she is a bit of wanderer. She is 92 and though the advance in her dementia over the last few months means she is extremely confused and is beginning to have trouble walking her heart, lungs etc are still pretty strong, so I hope she could ride it out if she does get it.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,798
Chester
I'm sorry to hear this. Her age doesn't mean she will get symptoms even if she catches it, just the risks are higher.

sending ((((hugs))))
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,219
So sorry to hear this. As you say, people with dementia will not understand having to stay in their room, or that they need to keep their distance from others. It must be difficult for the staff but I'm sure they are doing their best to keep everyone safe.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,130
Yorkshire
fingers crossed @Sarasa that the staff manage to contain the outbreak
a worrying time for you and other family/friends of residents and the staff
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,246
Yorkshire
Sorry to hear there's a case in your mums home x I hope it keeps clear of her and if goes anywhere near she fights it off 🤞 Lots of love to you and your mum x
 

Cazzita

Registered User
May 12, 2018
558
Oh Sarasa! What an emotional and bumpy ride this has been for you and your family. Hope things do settle down for you all and that your brother gets better soon. It's so damn hard isn't it. Take care and remember your mum is in good hands xx
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,369
Mum has now been in her care home for a year, and I haven't seen her since the middle of March. The home update their Facebook page quite often and there have been one or two pictures of mum. She certainly looked like she could do with a hair wash in one, but apart from that fine. The home emailed last week to ask if I wanted to do a skype call but I decided what with my hearing and mum's eyesight the whole thing might be a bit fraught. I've been keeping in touch by sending in flowers, cards and photos, but it seems a bit remote. As they've had cases of Covid-19 I guess it could be a while before they'll be open to visitors again. As mum was declining quite rapidly before lockdown, I expect to see big changes when I do go in.
For those that have been following the saga of my brother, he has managed to stay out of hospital since mid January, and is very slowly putting on weight. He is still very frail, and spending a lot of time in bed. Fortunately is sense of humour is still intact, so he's making us all laugh when we meet up on zoom.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,246
Yorkshire
It must be so hard for those of you not able to visit, hope its not too much change when you next see your mum and its not too long either. Glad to hear your brother is gaining weight and hope he builds his strength back up in time x
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,219
I am glad to hear your brother is slowly growing stronger, Sarasa. It must help a bit to see your mother on the Facebook pages but I know what you mean about feeling quite divorced from what's happening.

I think it will be some time before any care homes accept visitors again. My mother's CH is only a 15 minute drive away so I've been there twice to take supplies of toiletries (and chocolate) and have spoken at length to staff. They locked down on 13 March and have not had any cases of Covid. They are only using regular members of staff, no agency workers, and staff are all being very careful not to put themselves at risk of catching it. They have worked hard to keep the residents safe, but we are also lucky that there have been very few cases in this area. I hope your mother stays safe.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,369
Just had a very nice phone call from the senior carer on mum's floor. I sent in some flowers and a small teddy bear today. Apparently mum has been really happy with both and is carrying the bear around. She's also been keeping the staff and other residents entertained. I think that was his positive spin on her wandering around trying to find a ay out. The bear was my toe in the water to see whether mum might like a realistic dog/cat toy. I might investigate those further.
The carer is only just back after a month off having been very ill with covid-19. As he is pretty on the ball I hope to get more regular updates from now on. They seem to be over the worst now, though I'm sure there are going to be some faces missing when I can get back to see mum
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,369
Mum is looking pretty happy all things considered. I think they had a 'glamour' session. I'm also pleased she is wearing the tunic I bought her for Christmas which she claimed not to like!
Mum and Vogue.jpg