I've had a thread for the last year on the Memory Concerns and Seeking a Diagnosis forum about my ups and downs trying to support my mother and get her the help she needs. I think it's time to start a new thread here now mum has just moved into a home. The title comes from something she said to me when she was in her fifties and running round holding down a demanding job and trying to support my dad look after his parents. I thought at the time it was unlikely she'd think that when she got to needing one, and so it proved. A bit of background, mum has been very insistent that she is fine, even though her behaviour has become more and more erratic the last year or so. The first real worry was when she thought her new neighbours were coming in and moving her belongings, controlling her heating and stealing her belongings. She kept on banging on their door demanding they returned things. Over the last six months her general memory has got very much worse, she was very confused about times and dates, often thinking I'd been there when I hadn't and forgetting I'd been there when I had. She also couldn't remember various members of the family, confusing my son with my brother for instance. She was also putting herself at risk by going to the local pubs and drinking with random men. Physically she is pretty amazing for 91, but has very poor eyesight due to macular degeneration We had several attempt at getting her to the memory clinic, and in the end after a meltdown in her doctor's surgery the psychiatrist paid her a surprise visit. He diagnosed 'probable vascular dementia'. Neither my brother or I live near by, so we persuaded mum she would move nearer my brother. The original idea was that mum would move into extra care accommodation near him, and with that in mind we put her flat on the market. The sale of this is in the process of going through at the moment. Recently though the extra care complex has reduced the amount of support available to residents, and with mum's continued decline we realised that wouldn't be enough. Then my brother was diagnosed with cancer and needed a major operation, so needed to take a step back. Add in that I was going on holiday and as a family we agreed to find mum a residential home near me on a temporary basis, with a view to making it permanent. So on Wednesday I moved mum in. She thought we were going on holiday (a long story but in theory she is going on a cruise with sister in law and I in June). When she realised I'd been extremely economical with the truth she was not happy. I had told her she'd be staying near me for a bit, but she'd forgotten that she kicked off, and I thought for a horrible minute of two the home were going to ask me to take her away. Since then it has been up and down, but last heard of she was teaching the other residents dance moves, so maybe she is starting to settle. From what they said this morning she is more confused than she was. She has totally forgotten I'm married, but thinks I have a nasty boyfriend who won't let mum live with me, said she needed to get home to her mum, and thinks she's been there for eight weeks. So early days, and goodness knows what happens next but I'm off on holiday tomorrow. When I get back I'm going to cancel the cruise. My brother will be out of hospital by then, but obviously still not well, and I don't want to unsettle mum again if she's settled. Hopefully she'll have forgotten about the cruise. It's been one of the few things she has remembered consistently recently.