I don`t seem to be handling this very well..................

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Grannie G, May 12, 2007.

  1. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    Dear alfjess,

    Thanks for that. :)

    He`s still at it. Why are we here, what is this place, how can I get to work, where did I come from, how many miles, it`s been going all night.

    Usually he has a little nap, but not today nor tonight. He`s been up since 7am and has hardly stopped.

    The only consolation is when he sees me at the computer, he thinks I`m working so hesitates to disturb me. I`m afraid I haven`t enlightened him. Mind you, if I did, he would forget it after 2 minutes.

    Hope your mum and dad are ok and that your dad is not as confused about the home as he was.
    How has it been for you? Are you feeling better about everything now?

    Take care, love
     
  2. janetruth

    janetruth Registered User

    Mar 20, 2007
    563
    nuneaton
    Hi Sylvia

    I'm not clever, but I am Partially Sighted ( no central vision) I am still a novice to so many things.
    There are alot of small and achievable goals that could be scored, but I am not and never have been ambitious.
    I have found alot of comfort from this forum, posts that have brought me to tears and also those that have made me laugh.
    It takes me a while to read posts and even longer to type one, patience is my virtue.
    Take care Bye for now
    Janetruth x
     
  3. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Sylvia,
    Like so many others I feel helpless as I have no suggestions to help. You are so good to us all on TP - I always feel better after I read your posts. I just WISH I could advise you - or better still, wave a magic wand and "fix" things!! :)

    Just a word about depression: as a long time sufferer, I know that it is quite common to feel that the causes are external instead of internal. One looks around for a "cause" and latches on "something" - I think Dhiren has done this with Manchester. The sad part is that it takes insight to realise that the causes are internal not extrernal - something which is obviously too hard for Dhiren much of the time.

    In his clear moments he can still see that the Manchester business is not the cause. Unfortunately for both of you he cannot sustain this insight because of this %#^^&*# illness!!

    All I can say is that I'm thinking of you, sending you the warmest of caring wishes, and lots of
    {{{HUGS}}}
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    Thank you Nell.

    Last night he asked what were our plans for tomorrow, how would he get to work, how much longer we would stay here, when did I get here, do they give us food, have I got to rot here, I could go on...............

    This morning he woke at 7am., said he`s decided this is his home and he`s not going anywhere. I encouraged him to have a lie in and he`s sleeping now.

    Five minutes peace :)
     
  5. Natashalou

    Natashalou Registered User

    Mar 22, 2007
    426
    london
    U cant


    U will drown or be swept away!! :(
     
  6. janetruth

    janetruth Registered User

    Mar 20, 2007
    563
    nuneaton
    Hi Natashalou


    I'm sure Sylvia has got another cunning plan up her sleeve, maybe some virtual weeding is called for, failing that. a diving suit should be worn.
    Janetruth x
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sylvia, if it's raining with you, can I extend an invitation to do your weeding here? It's dry, and there are plenty of weeds to go at.

    In fact, if anyone else is interested, we could have a weeding party. Tea and harvo loaf on me!

    Love,
     
  8. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Not raining in SW Scotland? :confused: :confused: :confused:
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    It's true, it's true!!:D :D :D
     
  10. Natashalou

    Natashalou Registered User

    Mar 22, 2007
    426
    london
    Skye.


    you CANNOT have a weeding party. That is NOT possible. Party is champagne, sexy men in dinner suits, black dresses and diamonds. Or, just possibly, kids and birthday cake. THAT is party.
    WEEDING is cold, mud, wellingtons and back ache.
    Weeding party is not possible,
    End of. :(
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    Ah Natasha, it`s obvious you have never weeded with me.;) I could make a party out of anything, and so, I suspect could Hazel.

    Desperation has no boundaries.:rolleyes:

    But it is raining here in the dry south east. Might brighten up later though.
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland

    Weeding party great fun! Sunshine, scruffy clothes, scrambling over rocks, playing with the dog, picking up the odd weed,-- that's a weeding party. And you missed it Natasha!:(

    Sylvia and I had a great time!:D :D :D
     
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london


    As I was reading this thread, more pages I click to next page and read, brought back my own memories like you trying so hard to find that place for him on the Internet, every click on a page was like reading another years gone buy with my mother. I ended up going alone with mum how life would better anywhere then where she was, so much stress so many tears, enjoy Manchester just don’t expect it to get better that it make him feel better, just look view it at it as an advancer, for you both. It may break your heart knowing that you can not help him seeing him like this, but what does not kill you physical, only in time make you emotional stronger, keep strong.

    Its like a test, I remember losing my temper with my mother and walking out, going to the music stop and buying loads of CD, get home and mum all sorry,

    I would say that wanting to find that place of safety is a feeling of wanting to find safety in her own mind, they do know they are losing control, like a finding a stranger in a strange world within themselves.

    It has only stop with my mother in the last year; it went on for 4 years. I suppose the disease just progressed, so stop.
    Or may be with her sister dieing last year she knows they nothing left in Gibraltar, being on medication for AZ also must of eased her way along, so she would of had more understanding in understanding that her sister died and still remembers that she died.

    Have you ever ask doctor about Exbixa or is it to early ?
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    #54 Grannie G, May 13, 2007
    Last edited: May 13, 2007
     
  15. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,424
    Can I just interject: I am very envious of everyone talking about rain. It's been 10 + days since I've had rain, and my weeds are cemented into the ground. Not helped by 80+ temperatures, although today it's only supposed to be in the 60's.

    "moan and mumble"

    Jennifer
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    You`re only trying to get your own back, when you were covered in snow and freezing, while we were basking in the sunshine in March :p :p
     
  17. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    So are you saying that he tried Ebixa, and got hallucinations from taking it ?

    or he was having hallucinations with out taking Ebixa ?

    My mother only had one hallucination , while taking Exbixa when she told me she saw my father in a horse and cart in her bedroom.
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    Sorry Maggie,

    he was tried with Aricept, first, and then Reminyl, when first diagnosed. Both had the same very frightening side effects, all day and all night, non stop.
     
  19. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    Hi Sylvia,

    I'm sorry you're having such a bad time of it at the moment. My Dad has also developed an obsession with going back to the town where he lived with his parents. I think Maggie has got it spot on. I think it is a desire to go back to a time when they felt safe and cared for without the responsibility of adulthood.

    As this town is only 7 or 8 miles away my Dad does take himself back there sometimes and maybe it is that, or the Ebixa or just a phase that is passing but it seems to be less of an obsession at the moment.

    If we arrange something for my Dad, such as going on holiday or a trip, he will ask 101 questions over and over because of his difficulty in retaining information. I have found it useful to have a monthly or yearly planner up with relevant dates on it and to type up a detailed schedule with train times, planned activities etc that he can refer to. I understand that your husband still reads. Do you think it may help? With smaller events we have started not to tell him until a day or so before so that he has less time to worry and it spares the endless 'Is is today I'm going to so and so?'

    Sue
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    Hi Sue, Thanks for the support.

    I have a calendar in the kitchen, a page a month, and everything goes down on it. My husband consults it about 20 times every day, to see what we`re doing.
    Unfortunately I have to remember to turn the page at the end of each month, as he will read the same entries over again.

    We have a new recycling system, 2 bins, one with a blue lid and one with a black lid. They are emptied alternately. So I don`t get mixed up and put the wrong one out, I`ve had to write either `blue `or `black` against every Friday. My husband reads this too, and asks each time he reads it, what blue and black mean.

    I wish Jamui, India was 7 or 8 miles away.;)
     

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