I don`t seem to be handling this very well..................

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Grannie G, May 12, 2007.

  1. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #101 Margarita, May 17, 2007
    Last edited: May 17, 2007


    That is the most wired, thing if you heard me speak, you would hear a clear English with a hint of cocky English, but in my mind in how I think speak (in my thoughts) they are Spanish and its only when I speak in Spanish that I can express my self verbally better , even my daughters son, find it hard to understand when I express my English in a English accent, but express the wording all the wrong way lol.

    Its great in Gibraltar because we talk half in Spanish, them drop in to English half way into the conversation to each other.

    Where if you born live in Spain all you learn is Spanish so only talk all in Spanish.

    When born in Gibraltar we all learn English all schooling is in English but outside school we all talk Spanish I don’t know how it came about that I lost the assent, it may be down to that my parents school me in Gibraltar and England,

    So I lost the ascent over the years, with mixing with the English girls outside school when in England. Then back to my school in Gibraltar mixing with the Gibraltar girls in Gibraltar.

    So yes English was my 2nd languag, as in England at home all we spoke was in Spanish, so I can flow with a conversation in Spanish with a word or 2 in engllish , but not all in English. I have always hated admitting that, but its true ,


    so if you really think about it , you can not inmagine my acent , but my thoughts accent :) , if that could be Possible .

    Under stress my thoughts inside of me can became a jumble sale, of Spanish English, so have to be relaxed, clear mind to type, but I enjoy it because it take my mind of my worries and clear my mind
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    I love that image, Maggie. There are always beautiful things to be found in jumble sales.:)

    Love,
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Thanks Hazel .

    I am wondering now how Sylvia getting on ?
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent
    #104 Grannie G, May 18, 2007
    Last edited: May 18, 2007
    Sylvia`s getting on just fine today thank you, Maggie.

    I have finally got down to weeding the garden and filled 5 black bin bags with weeds. That`s just one border, but they blow in from the cliff top and are a pest.

    While I was gardening, my husband came out to help. [Hurrah!! Smiley]

    So for the first time in ages, we shared a task.

    Mind you, it took me longer to clear up after him than it would if I`d done it by myself, but never mind.

    Now I have an aching back and sore feet, but it`s been a good day.

    Tomorrow is the Cup Final. Man U v Chelsea. We are going to our son`s for lunch and then watch the match.

    Thank you for asking.

    Love xx

    P.S. When you asked Maggie,everything was fine. Now 15 minutes later, the sundowning has started again, he is going away from here for a week, he is claustrophobic, can`t breathe, feels suffocated .

    So sorry,everything isn`t fine, for the time being.

    This is Alzheimers.
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #105 Margarita, May 18, 2007
    Last edited: May 18, 2007
    don't be , like me we just learn to take the negtive with the postive ( and I still find that hard to get use to )

    Just think of Chelsea :D wining and it be during the day so sundowning will be gone and your son be they to help you .

    Don't know if that help with the near now , but my thought are with you xx
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent
    My husband is now in the garage, looking for a suitcase.

    All his suits are out of the wardrobe, on the bed, with all his shirts.

    All the doors are open and all the lights are on.

    He said he is going tomorrow.

    And today began so well.
     
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Oh how I wish I could help you. I hope your hubby calms down in a while - perhaps when it gets dark he will have second thoughts - then WHO puts all the gear away?

    Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you.
    Love Jan
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent
    He`s just gone out. I don`t know where, I hope to our son`s.

    He said tomorrow he`s going to an Estate Agent and will put the house on the market.

    Thanks Jan, I can see you`ve been there. You know who will put the clothes away.
     
  9. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Is he back yet or at your sons?
     
  10. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Hello Sylvia, I'm really sorry that things are going a bit pear-shaped. When I saw this line( above) my first thought was, " I wonder if Dhiren heard the news today about everyone rushing off to put their properties on the market to beat the HIP charges before June 1st" I know this sounds daft but people do sometimes pick up on odd snippets.
    Thinking of you and wishing you well, love Deborah x
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent
    He`s come back, very angry, going tomorrow, going to sell the house, have half each of the money, following me round the house ranting and raving.

    I lost it, told him to do what he wants but to stop driving me mad. He followed me into the living room, I said I don`t care where he sits but it isn`t going to be with me, and I`ve left him sitting by himself.

    Now I feel guilty. He can`t help it but I can.

    Thanks for asking Margarita.
     
  12. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #112 Margarita, May 18, 2007
    Last edited: May 18, 2007
    Don't feel guilty , because you know you don't mean it and if it does the trick ! to slow him down and your still feeling guilty ask him if he like a cup of tea :) but don't start xx

    PS If you don't mind me saying (just tell me to shut up stop interfering )
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent
    No Deborah,

    He does read the papers but doesn`t retain the information. He thinks he will put the house on the market and get the money within the week.

    His problem is boredom. He is unable to think of things to do, but if I suggest things, he accuses me of either treating him like a child or bossing him about.

    He gets confused with the remote controls for the TV, 2 different procedures for satellite or terrestrial. On a good day he`ll ask me to get the right channel for him, but on a bad day he switches the TV off and then has nothing to do.

    He has some booklets we got free with the papers. One is about Genius, and the others are a set of Famous Speeches. He loves these books and reads them over and over. Each time he reads them, the content is fresh and new.

    I could go on about the things he can`t do, but there is very little he can do. So he thinks he will leave and go to a better place where everything will be all right.
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent

    Would I dare!! ;)
     
  15. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    that says it all , and who can blame him xxx
     
  16. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Oh, how amazing that he liked the little books of speeches. Wasn't there a CD of someone reading them that came out with them? I'm sure there was because it's knocking around my kitchen and I can't think what to do with it. Would that entertain him? Hearing someone read them? Want me to post it to you?

    Your description of his boredom and frustration makes me want to cry. Both for him, not being able to see a way through any more, and for you, forever trying to pick up the pieces. I never had this with my mum. I had other things, but not this, and I could always walk away anyway, when, for example the incessant questions got too much to cope with. Really sorry. Deborah x
     
  17. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    please don't feel guilty - take to heart that the only good thing about dementia is that they won't remember what we said when it all became too much.

    We're none of us totally impervious to the wear and tear and strain of this situation and sometimes - for our own good - we have to snap.

    Its not because we don't love them - it is because we love them too much.

    Take it slowly and take care of yourself as well!
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent
    Thanks Bruce, I know, but it doesn`t make it any easier, even if you can see the why`s and wherefore`s.

    Deborah, we have the CD, that came after the booklets.
    He loves it but can`t put it on as he doesn`t know how to use the CD controls. So, as I say, he asks me when it`s a good day but doesn`t, if he wants to stay independent. I think by now he`ll have forgotten we have the CD.
    I bought him a special folder for the booklets and he was pleased with that.
    Thank you for offering to send yours. That`s really kind.
     
  19. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    sending a BIG hugg to you

    wish i could advise sylv or offer help as you have helped me and SO many others
    YOU ARE A TRESURE PLEASE KEEP ON KEEPING ON i know how hard it is
    could i send you a pint of strong bow cider we could have a straw and all --get stronger --if the advert is right -lots of love bel xxxxxx
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,914
    Kent
    What a lovely picture bel.

    All TP members, One giant tankard, a few hundred straws, and more than a few gallons of strongbow. :D

    Thank you. You never fail to cheer me up.

    Love xx
     

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