Hi
@Bikerbeth, when mum first moved into the home I'd say things like 'I'll be over on Tuesday.' At the time she seemed to know what day it was. Certainly one Tuesday I arrived after lunch and the carers said she'd refused to do anything in the morning because I was coming. After that I just said 'see you soon.' Now I don't say anything, just disappear. Mum would get upset if I said goodbye, and either want to come with me, or wonder where in the home I was living. On several occasions she thinks I've been locked into a cupboard by the carers and has gone round trying to find me.
I've decided Wednesday will be my 'usual' day, but last week it was Thursday and this week I'm there tomorrow afternoon for her birthday and Thursday morning to help with a World Book Day event. What I do try and do is arrive about 11.30 so I can take her to the morning activity if I think she'd enjoy it, and I disappear just before lunch. Wednesday is quite a good day to go as the hairdresser is in, and that makes for a fun thirty minutes, as having her hair washed and blow-dried cheers mum up.
The home has tons on, activities both morning and afternoon, trips out etc. etc. I've asked that mum is encouraged to take part more, but unless I take her she often doesn't go. I think this is partly because she is no longer interested, or actually understands what the activity is, and partly because if she gets bored she wonders off and a carer has to go and track her down in case she gets up to mischief. The residents of the home whose dementia isn't so advanced, or who have physical problems have loads of fun, they've had nude life-drawing classes for instance and the other week the place was awash with flying ducks for National Bird Watch Week. Mum is past all that now, though she enjoys the music events, and they've got in a dance display for her birthday tomorrow.