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Sugar in her coffee

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
Hi @Woo2. We are fine thank you for asking.
Friday was a bad visit with Mum. I guess I had planned to go to music for memories and then a walking group. When I arrived Mum was still asleep ( she is up usually at 8am) so I went and waited in the lounge until she got up. Unknown to me one of the Carers woke her up and she was in a right grump. We went out for our walk as it was too late to go to the music event but everything was criticised or I really could not make sense of what she was saying. Unfortunately this added to her frustration. Afterwards I tried to get her involved in a few things but nothing worked. I have started to note that when her eyes are darting all over the place there is usually trouble ahead. Mum’s mood was getting worse so I just left.
I Rang Mum yesterday and we a chat the for 5 minutes but nothing was understandable but she seemed ok.
Arrived this morning and apparently Mum had given the staff a hard time over the weekend. 2 commented that this stroppy behaviour had only started over the last 2 weeks. Mum said they had ‘rationed’ her breakfast but she had had some chocolate so was ok. Apparently there were 2 dead bodies along the corridor and others were packing up to go home. She said she would pack up after we had been for a walk. So I seized on that and took her to one of her favourite places for a walk and fortunately as it was sunny we sat outside on a bench to have a coffee and cake half way round. I sat with her over lunch and she was fine. The activities coordinator said they were doing glass painting after lunch and I said we would join in. Mum refused to so I just carried on painting ‘my jar’ with some of the other ladies, occasionally asking her to pick a colour for me which she did. After we all finished she turned round and said she would have liked a go. So I said they would be doing it again and she could try then. Hopefully my cunning plan has worked - maybe she will join in next time. However she did seem more settled so I have to say it was a good day.
However one of the best Carers is leaving. He was fantastic with the dementia patients (as his nan has it).
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
What a shame one of the best ones is leaving. If they think her behaviour has changed over last 2 week have they any idea why or any plan to find out? Has there been any more talk of your mum seeing gp about her anxiety and increased confusion and behaviour? Mind you I suppose getting to see a gp at the moment will be quite hard.
I'm glad you both enjoyed a walk today though x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
What a shame one of the best ones is leaving. If they think her behaviour has changed over last 2 week have they any idea why or any plan to find out? Has there been any more talk of your mum seeing gp about her anxiety and increased confusion and behaviour? Mind you I suppose getting to see a gp at the moment will be quite hard.
I'm glad you both enjoyed a walk today though x
Thanks @annielou I made an appointment for Mum at the GP 2 weeks ago and the earliest was 1st April and then that is a case of having her referred to the mental health team. So not sure if her meds will be altered until she has had the referral.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
I’m sorry fridays visited wasn’t the best but it sounds like you dealt with it well, I have learnt now to leave well alone when like that , it’s a shame the carer woke mum up but I can see why she did it , she obviously got out the wrong side of the bed . Glad yesterday’s was much better 🙂. some of the activities sound fun. Hope mum is feeling brighter soon, take care .🤗
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
Thanks @Woo2. I really do think her anxiety meds just need to be increased a little as she is on a minimal dose. Then if she was not so distrustful I think she would get involved again with the activities and be happier in herself.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Sounds perfectly feasible , hopefully they increase them and it can get mum back in to a happier frame of mind .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Mum was on 50mg sertraline to start with and she stopped being so agitated and angry but still got really quite upset and tearful so it was upped to 100mg after first month and now she doesn't get as upset and tearful, or for as long. She does still get anxious, upset and agitated but the scale of it is so much less now which is so much better for mum and me to deal with. .
I had told memory nurse and OT mum got anxious and agitated when first being assessed and they agreed, especially OT who had seen mum get aggressive and anxious during her visits but when we got diagnosis dr said mum wasn't above normal anxiety levels. Over Christmas and new year it was getting so bad I rang memory clinic a few times and so did my sister asking for something to help mum and eventually she was given sertraline about 2 months ago which has been a big help. Its while she's been on it that she has agreed to try day care and carers, which even though not always going smoothly is much better than before.
I hope when you do get to see gp in april they refer mum for medication review and they do increase her anxiety medication and it helps X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Mum on sertraline too, started on 50mg but she is ok so still on that dose . Dr’s text me yesterday to say no appointments now , only telephone consultation’s. That would be easier for me , I have used that option in the past as mum goes mute in dr’s . Mind you I put a letter in last year from mum saying they could speak to me . I wrote it she signed it . Hope you get it sorted soon @Bikerbeth . X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
Just a thought could memory clinic not do that for you ?
Thank you for the suggestion. It seems different areas have different ways of working. Where Mum used to live in the Midlands everything was done through the GP. Now I have moved her to my area I am told that you have to see GP to then get referral to mental health team. Frustrating when it takes a month to get to GP and no idea how long then for the referral (the CH did try to get Dr out but it was deemed she was not urgent enough)
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
😬 Don’t they make our caring role soo much easier ! nobody should be left to suffer anxiety or the like . X
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,847
Just checking in. I hope your mum is feeling better @Bikerbeth, maybe it's an infection or maybe her dementia has just moved on. Shame about the good carer leaving. None of the ones in mum's home are bad, but some are definitely better than others.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
You are right @Woo2 it seems a long winded process especially if he just refers on and we are out in 2 mins.
Thanks @Sarasa. I think it is her dementia moving on as the CH have tested her several times for infections and she ha# been clear each time. We have also tried to check for any other issues eg she has an arthritic knee but she tells me it only hurts occasionally
Good day for me today. I got one of the raised beds dug over ready for the spud planting. Lots of paperwork done and the hotel chain that we booked our accommodation with for our Wales trip in April are allowing you to rebook at a later date.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Glad you had a good day, lots of fresh air and exercise there . Good news about hotel , there seems to be a lot of cooperation around which is heartening. X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
It is indeed good to know that there are some good folks out there. The non chain hotel also rang us today to say we could have a refund or rebook. So we intend to rebook for late August/sept.
Had a phone call with Mum. She seemed quite cheery despite the fact that ‘they were all moving to a hospital in Coventry or Derby and she had a few things out ready to pack if necessary’ (I told her the staff would let her know when to pack) She told me it was absolutely chaotic there and she had not had her lunch until 3pm and they had only just had supper and as it was getting late she was going off to bed (it was 2.30pm) but she was glad I had visited this morning (I hadn’t) I just went along with it all and tried to make the appropriate responses. It seemed to work. Mum seemed happy and I was left with a bemused smile on my face