Morning all,
Poor you Juggles, if son is also going through the teen strops
I still strugle dealing with just youngest - and no way could I have coped with 5 kids, like Candy! 3 kids - with a big gap between numbers 2 and 3 - have been quite enough for me. Youngest headed off with her mates for her 18th birthday 'night out' last night - heard her coming in after midnight, this morning have found her clothes strewn across the bathroom - but no sign of her being ill, so I am hoping that she didn't over do it - especially as she has theatre rehearsals today, that she can't miss, as its only a month now until they all perform at The Royal Albert Hall. And she STILL hasn't done the uni application.
Good luck to your dau for the exam on Monday - have fingers and toes crossed, but she is so clever, I bet she breezes through it (despite all the pre-exam angst) xxxx
Like JM, I had to grin at the nurse just leaving the gauze. Too many health professionals just don't have a clue, Candy! I remember Mil having a bad skin tear on her leg, and me trying to explain to the District Nurse that just one spare dressing wouldn't be enough, as Mil would remove it repeatedly. The DN then proceded to explain very carefully to Mil why she shouldn't remove the dressing, Mil (of course) agreed that she wouldn't, and the DN then gave me a satisfied nod, as if to say 'There you are - sorted'. 5 minutes later, as we left the surgery, Mil was convinced we had just been shopping . . .
I didn't have a good relationship with my Mum either, Candy - mine 'ran away' with another man when I was about 7, I think, leaving myself and my two younger sisters. To this day, I have no idea why she eventually came back, and persuaded my Dad to allow us to go back and live with her (and our new half sister and brother, & step-dad), because the only person she really cared for was herself. I spent a lot of years, at her beck and call, being lied to, insulted and dealing with so much for her, whilst one by one, my sisters all cut off contact with her. She made my life hell, when Mil came to live with us, because she was so jealous and angry that I was caring for Mil. She felt I should be available to just care for her, and even though she didn't need care as Mil did, my step dad later told me that she had 'never got over' me allowing Mil to live with us. After Mil moved in, she actually lied to me about her cancer returning, claiming also that she had dementia and then - when I found out that was a lie - that she had a brain tumor (also a lie), and all just for attention. The last two years of her life, I finally cut off contact too (primarily because she started to be as horrible to my kids as she often was to me). Looking back, I am really sad that I had to do that, but I neither regret it, nor do I feel guilty. I accepted that there was nothing I could do to help her, or improve the way she treated me, and that being the case, I had no choice but to put my kids, OH and Mil first. I take my hat off to you, because I couldn't have been there for her, as you are for your Mum now, despite your relationship with your Mum being so poor. It takes some strength of character to be able to put aside the bad stuff and step up to the plate like that xxx
I hate to say it, but you are right about it probably taking a crisis to force a change in your Mum and Step dads circumstances. As you say, thats the case for so many of us on TP, and without Step-dads agreement and adequate support from the so called support services, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Another manic week in work. Usually, this time of year, I'm contacting different organisations, and asking them if they want to book me for projects with their young people for the next academic year. Not this year though - for the first time ever, they have all been the ones contacting me, and I am having to say no, and put groups onto a waiting list! In fact, I've been asked to take on so much, that at least one, and possibly two projects are going to be passed over to a new member of staff, who is doing my job in the Conwy area. I even have 3 projects booked for the Summer break - thats a normally 'quiet' time of year for me, as most of the colleges are closed, and I've never managed to run more than one project then. This year is very different, so I am currently putting the plans for projects together, booking workshops and setting up sessions for my groups to get involved with voluntary work with other charities in the area. However, I have stuck to my guns - I've limited the number of projects I will run at any one time, I've decided on what 4 days I will work so I'm not taking on any work for a Friday (which is going to be my regular day off) and I won't be working over my hours.
Mil is fine - absolutely nothing new to report. We didn't manage to get there at meal times in the last week, I'll have to manage my time better for the coming visits, so I can keep an eye on the food situation. No attempts at violence for either of us, when we have seen her - and she is happier if we breeze in for just 30 minutes or so, then breeze out and leave her. She tends to pay more attention to her dolls and toys now, croons to them and rocks them in her arms - it's as though they are the most important thing in her world - but as long as she is content and agitation free, then that is fine by us. I can't put into words how good it is, seeing her so calm and knowing that she is free of the misery of upsetting delusions and paranoia at the moment.
Quiet weekend planned - just 'pootling along' - OH is to be nagged to put up the new bathroom shelves (he'll have to tear himself away from the pizza oven and garden kitchen!), and once thats done, and the house tidy, I plan to chill!
Edited to add, youngest has just come downstairs for a drink. She says she feels fine, just tired, she had a brilliant night and she is definitely going to her rehearsal later - so thankfully, it seems like she was sensible last night!
Sending much love to everyone -
@Spamar and
@Slugsta , hope all is OK with you guys xxxxx