1. Welcome to Talking Point - an online community for everyone who is affected by dementia. Whether you have dementia or know someone who does, we will be there for you.

    Sign up to join the community, or Log in if you're already a member.

    If you need help using Talking Point, read our Help pages or contact us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk

  2. Hi everyone, Talking Point is back! We’ve updated the software in order to improve security, design, and the way the community works, and introduced some helpful features.

    Find out more

So bizarre !

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Ann Mac, Jul 31, 2014.

  1. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,299
    Mils delusions/confabulations are getting more and more extreme - though Thank god, she isn't finding them upsetting and they are not stressing her out at all. But the sheer 'strangeness' and the absolute lack of logic behind them is breathtaking.

    Just yesterday, we had her asking when her next exercise session was - you know, the one where she and the dog go to the gym!

    We had her frantically looking for the 'Christmas Mobile phone' she had bought - she showed it to me, she said - the red one, that she is allowed to use to phone her brother at Christmas.

    Last night she leapt out of her seat to go and 'clean that room'. What room? The one upstairs, where we play ten pin bowling, apparently - oldest daughter caught that one - I walked in to find Mil demanding that daughter accompany her up the stairs so she could SHOW her the bowling alley, and Mil then insisted that I went too. She went in every bed room, bathroom too - even opened the landing cupboard - but wasn't that worried when it couldn't be found.

    This morning, she is worried about getting to her job at the theatre on time - the theatre where she wears the blue dress on the stage and there are horses :confused:

    Because she isn't upset, then it doesn't worry or upset me, and its not stressful to deal with - but I am seriously puzzled by where on earth these odd ideas come from!
     
  2. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    5,022
    UK
    We have the same with Mum. Unfortunately she is not so passive about the result and will be angry and abusive that we have made whatever she imaging disappear to make her look a fool. Sometimes it will be constant, sometimes we gat a day off.

    Her latest is that the dog is missing so she must have killed it. The one in question was from 45 years ago.

    I feel so sorry for her but can't help until that confabulation has passed.
     
  3. Delphie

    Delphie Registered User

    Dec 14, 2011
    1,172
    Could she be getting these ideas from the TV? My mum did. Boy, it was strange, and it took me quite a while to cotton to what was going on.

    It didn't solve the problem of her having these thoughts or us having these strange conversations (which I admit I did find stressful) but at least I knew where they were coming from. The worst thing was the anger and paranoia, though. She watched the news a lot and I was responsible for all the ills in the world. I remember her having a right old go when she thought I'd been rioting in London, and she very much didn't approve of that gypsy camp I was living in, the one the police were trying to shut down. I'd always been trouble, she hissed.

    Funny, in retrospect.
     
  4. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,299
    We've had occasions in the past when she has been angry and the delusions/confabulations have caused paranoia and a huge amount of stress for her, Onlyme - I'm so grateful that for the moment, although they are happening many, many times a day, she is supremely unconcerned about them. At worst - at the moment - she might get a bit impatient that I can't answer her questions regarding the odd thoughts - I do try, but there is no rhyme or reason to what she believes are events or happenings, so the chances are the answers I give her are completely wrong, IYKWIM.

    Delphie, I guess some of them could come from the TV - she is losing the ability to focus on the box now, though, and is rarely able to sustain watching it. She still asks for her soaps and quizzes and detective programmes, but after 5 minutes, she is either wanting to talk, wanting the loo, or just simply leaves the room - mind you, doesn't stop her moaning if someone else is watching the TV and she decides she doesn't like the program!
     
  5. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    3,700
    UK
    A few months ago mum was confusing real life with t.v programmes, does not do it so much now, but her sentences are not connected, its like she has all these different thoughts and threads in her head and it all comes out in one conversation, for example: Dogs need to go out that's why I have this candle so when we go to the bank you must ring your brother to take dog to vet. I have noticed that she is forgetting more words so I have to listen very carefully in order to work out what she means. Shes started talking in her sleep, just as jumbled, but this keeps me on edge because sometimes she wakes herself up and I need to be ready to calm her back to bed. More confused and forgetful in the mornings now, used to be she was great having had a good nights sleep, but not now. However through all these changes she still packs her bags and asks me to take her home.
     
  6. MrsTerryN

    MrsTerryN Registered User

    Dec 17, 2012
    775
    Weird thing for me Ann Mac is that mum's delusions have kinda slowed down now she is in care. So odd. Mum was actually talking today about how she has dementia and how long she has had it and that she finds it difficult and frustrating as she has to think for every word and she can't always find the right word.
    I am taking this big long stretch of 'nice with it mum' for as long as I can. Hope things improve for you
    Onlyme that is odd mum has had significant delusions re dogs
     
  7. Grace L

    Grace L Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    647
    NW UK

    Only me, my husband had a delusion that I had killed our dog.

    We've never had a dog, only dog-sat, (in our home), many years ago.
    One day, he'd had a shower (with my help), and was sitting wrapped in towels,
    he asked for the door open to let some air in....
    Then looked out into the hall, with a big soppy grinning face.... said "OK you can come in now" ....
    (I'm thinking ey-what?)....

    He then got mad (violent mad :( ) ... and growled at me " OK, what have you done with her"?
    The anger lasted for several hours, and to a lesser extent over the next few days.

    His 'story' was...
    My sister had got fed up with her dog and no longer wanted her, so he said he would have her.
    But there was a problem, we had to get her 'smuggled' through customs :eek:, or quarantined ...
    I'm not sure which one as story varied each time....
    He 'clearly remembers' picking her up at the airport... and the hassle it was.

    I think the actual story was confused with my sister getting a new puppy to replace her dog that
    had died a couple of years before.... and a story was somehow made up.
     
  8. Vesnina

    Vesnina Registered User

    Aug 25, 2013
    179
    My mother very often mixes her life with the news or anything she hears on tv or... (she cannot see).
    She gets upset after some war news etc, therefore I just change programme in time of news,
    or speak very loudly if I do not want her to hear something,
    or try in other ways to switch her attention.

    If she listens some short story or only one song, than she knows what it is,
    but when I find a whole concert of Three Tenors or some chansonnier,
    she gets drawn in and starts believing than she must sing,
    that they invite her, that she needs a very good dress, she cannot go to sleep...

    If it is too late or she is too tired, then it is difficult to get her out,
    but if I interrupt the listening with small remarks, than she does not drift away.

    Conversations in general I find very very useful, very very necessary.
    Patience being the key ingredient.

    Last year my vacations made mother leap up, improve her state...
    Maybe it was caused by summer weather,
    but maybe also by all the time we spent in free talking without pressure...
    I hope this August will bring the same...
     
  9. benjie

    benjie Registered User

    Apr 14, 2009
    347
    north staffs
    Could it be something from her long past or a friend from the past - you can't know everything about their lives! but it's worth exploring you never know what you may discover from old memories
     
  10. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,299
    Isn't it odd how frequently animals - especially dogs - seem to appear? Aside from 'exercising' with the dog, last week on a trip to the beach, Mil spent a considerable amount of time scanning the sands looking for 'The old lady, the babby and the border collie dog', that she was convinced had been on the 'coach' with us when we arrived (we had driven to the beach in the car, actually!).

    Vesnina - I agree that periods without interaction, unless she is actually sleeping, make Mil worse in terms of both confusion and the delusions, usually. Regular exchanges of conversation seem to keep her more 'anchored' in reality, or at least, a closer version of it :)

    benjie - I've wondered how many of these 'delusions' are sparked by some odd 'actual' fragment of memory, that is then built on to produce the strange beliefs she has. Its almost impossible for me to track down and verify anything, though - she has just one brother left, who is much older and lives in Ireland, and I suspect (from odd phone calls) that he also may have some form of dementia, though very early stages compared to Mil, so getting info on her early life is pretty difficult.

    She was pretty upset last night (nothing to do with delusions, stupid action by support worker caused her some stress!) but had a recurrent theme (not for the first time) that she had been 'jiving, all day' in day care, and was 'tired out' as a result. Bless her, she may well have loved to 'jive' a fair few years ago, but its completely beyond her now. Still, she was convinced she had had a 'great time' dancing, so we just went along with it :)
     
  11. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    3,700
    UK
    I have always noticed that some of what mum talks about is true, but then she introduces things, places and people I don't know, jumbled thoughts and time line never right, but its like you say, she builds on her original thought and she likes talking. My concern though is trying to stop her coming up with the wrong conclusion so she does not become anxious. I have a few friends that still call in for coffee, giving mum a chance to chatter. Yesterday I noticed a new thing, mum was showing her a few family photos and a few hours after she had left mum accused her of taking them and asking why was she so interested in them. All quiet went to bed, but this morning asked again, why was she so interested! This could be a new obsession or a one off, don't know, but one thing. I do know, mum will 'build' on this.
     
  12. MrsTerryN

    MrsTerryN Registered User

    Dec 17, 2012
    775
    Well the dog is back for us again. Mum has had a bit of a cognitive drop in the last few weeks (tested for uti and there isn't one). Though this time the dog has a broken arm.
     
  13. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,622
    North East England
    Ann - could it be related to dreams?

    I have some odd memories of my childhood; for example I 'remember' a bunch of us in junior school hiding regularly in the stock cupboard at playtime and then coming out into the classroom to split up into two teams and performing little plays in front of each other. Because I wore glasses I was always a witch or an old lady because I could put the glasses on the end of my nose and do a haughty voice.

    Now, looking back, this seems so very unlikely that I now wonder if I dreamt it but it has become a 'memory'.

    Just a thought!
     
  14. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    5,022
    UK
    Mum now thinks I have killed my children. She is happily trying to fit the date of my mass murder into her time line. :eek:
     
  15. jen54

    jen54 Registered User

    May 20, 2014
    167
    Mum has just started mixng dreams in with her memories.last week she told me about a bad dream where someone had got in and all her drawers were empty.yesterday she took me to show me they were empty as someone had been in...she was shocked when they were full as always. I said about her dream and that it must have unsettled her and become a memory she felt was real..I feel all sorts of dream memories must. Get mixed in . She also had a new story About Her Youth and a rabbit she took to park on a lead.new one on us all so not sure if real or a dream .as someone who has very real dreams that I can recall for years I do wonder if it does all get jumbled.books read,tv,dreams etc:confused:
     
  16. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    5,041
    Suffolk
    OHs latest is that he has adopted a little boy . This stops him doing things like going to daycare, as he has to look after the little boy. This has a root of truth as he and his first wife did adopt two boys, but when they were babies, not toddlers. Then, when one of the male Carers came, OH was convinced that this was his long lost son!
    How come they can remember things like this for days/weeks, when they can't remember where the bathroom is?
     
  17. Grace L

    Grace L Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    647
    NW UK
    My husband once had a delusion (it went on/off for several weeks) that he had another home.

    One day he woke up tried, and aching all over, and very cross and angry at 'my total lack of cooperation'
    in refusing to help decorate , and fix up HIS other house.
    And now.... to top it all, he cant find the house keys, and doesn't know where the house is !!


    He'd spent the weekend dealing with plumbers to fit the new bathroom .... chasing people up ...
    and I was a f lazy B, who sat on my fat a... and did nothing but eat doughnuts !
    (I'm not lazy, not fat... and don't really care for doughnuts...)

    This was a first delusion of this kind for me (he did go on to many others), that was so incredibly detailed.

    SW just happened to be visiting a few days later and husband told them how angry he was with me....
    SW says 'OOOOhh, tell me more' ....
    Husband goes into a rant about me ... and his other house....

    SW knows husband and me virtually housebound, husband not very mobile, using a wheelchair at this point...

    BUT ... says to husband... 'Don't worry, I'll help you find your other house' !!

    I think the SW thought we DID have another house and were not telling SS about it.

    As SW was leaving I said 'If you don't believe me why don't you check the Land Registry?' ....
    SW scowls at me and says nothing....
     
  18. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    13,062
    North Manchester
    "...How come they can remember things like this for days/weeks, when they can't remember where the bathroom is?..."


    This >>>VIDEO<<< might help.
     
  19. MrsTerryN

    MrsTerryN Registered User

    Dec 17, 2012
    775
    Still thinking about this one. I thought mums one about the dog being murdered was odd enough
     
  20. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012
    1,080
    Brazil
    I wish I knew this before. Thank you for posting.
     

Share This Page