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So bizarre !

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
739
Lytham St Annes
So very sorry for your loss...no words to make it better, just the wonderful memories in time will bring a smile back.

Having a pet is such a joy, they give you truly unconditional love, companionship and loyalty.......but at the end the pain is almost unbearable.

Thinking of you all x
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,863
Chester
A chance for a slightly longer post now I've made it home from Bristol

It sounds like your daughter picked up on how poorly Busta was, to spend that time with him. I hope that helps her, knowing she did that. Dau was 3 and son wasn't born when we got our dog, and I keep worrying how they will cope with an ever present part of their lives gone when the time comes. I'm guessing it is the same for your kids particularly youngest who is still at home.

YOur comments on MIL sound really positive in the grand scheme of things, no pinching and digging nails in or hitting which has been a feature for so long. So frustrating it is taking so long to sort out the food issues.
 

Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
3,693
Morning all - and thank you all so much for your kind words about Busta. It's so very strange here without him, and although I thought that I had prepared myself, it's still left me feeling heartbroken. And I keep forgetting for a split second - putting food down and calling for the other two dogs, I find myself clapping - Buzz couldn't hear us calling him for food, but he could hear clapping and would respond to it. And I keep getting out 3 treats, still. His bed was right next to the sofa seat where I sit - so many times I've put my hand down to fuss him, just as I often used to. As you say, DianeW, it's really almost unbearable.

JM, I feel for you with your doggy and the kids. How youngest would cope was my biggest worry too - she was just 2 when we got Busta, so he had never not been around for her. And you are right, she has taken a lot of comfort from that last night with him. And our other two dogs have been a huge comfort to her (and to each other).

That last morning, before she got up, knowing she was off to Coventry for the night with her big sis, OH and I had decided not to say anything about the discusion we'd had about it probably being time to take him to the vets. We thought it would be kinder to say nothing, until she got home the next day, if the worst happened. But, she had realised during the night that things were not good, and - with hindsight - I actually am glad that she did. It would have been harder for her if we had managed to keep her in the dark, as we had planned - and wrong of us to have done that. She was still hopeful, I think, which is why she agreed to go to her sisters, but there had been some forewarning for her and I think that helped. Be prepared, if the worst happens, JM - youngest here had some questions afterwards - mainly around was Busta scared or distressed, and did it hurt him when the vet gave him the injection. I didn't expect her to ask that, but again with hindsight, I should have. I was unprepared and found talking to her about it quite upsetting, though I think I managed to hide that from her. And thankfully, I could reassure her quite truthfully, on all those questions.

It's a huge relief to see Mil so content at the moment - I don't have the words to say how grateful I am that she is finally free from the agitation and distress that have been such a massive part of her dementia. I wish they would get a move on with the eating assessment though, too, JM - how can such a straightforward issue take so damn long to sort? It's ridiculous!

Work issues, in a nutshell - currently owed over 30 additional hours worked in the last 3 weeks, which were accrued due to an event that I had to take part in, and a series of collossal errors in terms of communication from the organisation, which meant me working nearly half of my so called rest days over that period, in order to prevent a 9 month long project that I have worked my socks off for not being completed by the agreed date (which can't be changed). It also left me on the front line, dealing with 3rd parties, who were also affected by the lack of communication, and it was extremely stressful and unpleasant. Add to that, after agreeing that for once, I could miss two days of meetings in S Wales, due to take place in the two days immediately preceding the completion date, and the celebration event which is scheduled to take place on that date, they are now demanding that I spend at least 12 hours on one of those days attending one of the meetings, after all. Though they still want the project completed in time. I've tried to explain that its physically impossible for me to attend meetings in S Wales and be at the project in N Wales, ensuring its completion, at the same time (and said that I'm amazed that I have even had to explain this!) but feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. So, I've gone over their heads to their boss. Up to him to sort it now. And as I said, I'm job hunting.

This morning, I've been up since 4a.m, as youngest is off to London for full days rehearsal for the Royal Albert Hall show, and she had to be at the pick up point for 5 a.m. Typically, for the first night in about 10 nights, I actually had managed to sleep quite well for once, last night, and being woken by the alarm was not nice!

Pootle day today - try and get my house tidy (barely touched it this last week, due to work) and hopefully, by this afternoon, I plan to be on the sofa, with book, relaxing.

Sending much love to all, as always xxxx
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,475
Suffolk
Ann, that amount of extra work sounds horrendous! Fancy not realising it’s so difficult to get to S Wales for you, I thought that fact was well known, even to people to don’t live there! Don’t stop job hunting!

So sorry about Busta, but pleased your youngest is coping. I was about 11 when parents first dog died, but she had had a couple of ops, so even to me it wasn’t unexpected. Plus my father got another dog very shortly after. It was the same type, same colour and was given the same name!

I’m going through an up and down period at the moment. Two friends who had husbands with dementia have lost them - but not from dementia! One of them was only a few months older than me, much soul searching going on!

I’m still keeping up my coffee habit! Gives me chatting time!

Last Sunday at this time a friend and I were sitting on the terrace of one of the nicest hotels in Aldeburgh, less than a stones throw from the beach, supping coffee in the sun. A truly glorious morning. Plus a nearby dog only too pleased to have a cuddle. We would have stayed for lunch but she had another appt!

 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,760
South coast of England
Ann, I am so sorry to hear that your beloved Busta has crossed Rainbow Bridge. I know how terribly hard it is to do that one last, loving thing for our animal companions (((hugs))).

Also sorry, although not surprised, that things have got so bad at work :( I know how much you love the work with the user groups and really hope you are able to find something equally rewarding - but without the aggro!

It is a relief to hear that MIL is calm and contented after those years of torment.

Spamar, I'm sorry that life is so hard for you at the moment (((hugs))).

Please forgive my absence. I'm OK, although I do have some 'health issues' at the moment - I will have a gastroscopy on Monday, so that might give us some answers.

I hope that everyone else is as well as they can be.
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
You know that saying.... “look after yourself”......

I’m trying honest. But when “those who are here to help” promise you that they will and then don’t.....

I’m supposed to be getting details of counselling in our area. Long phone conversation promising a ladder so I can get out of the deep dark hole.... and then the ladder didn’t show up....

Became fed up to the back teeth of constantly battling on behalf of others, but I still battle/battled for them.

Where are those who perhaps could battle for me? Im all out of battling for anyone

This keeps going round my thoughts, this little saying... Can’t think, brain numb, inspiration won’t come

and I’m angry. Angry about everything

Squishy hugs to all who are having to continue with their battles of all kinds xxxxx
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,863
Chester
Whoops - thought I had sent @2jays some hugs

Sounds like you need some as well @Slugsta - hope your gastroscopy went well.

Spamar I hope you are OK as well.

Ann hope all is well.

Over here A levels are finally finished, so stress levels have plummeted thankfully.

Some of you may have seen the issues with the leaked edexcel maths paper which dau did sit, so hopefully a fair result will come out of it all.

Dau had been told this was the last time I was colouring her hair but has decided to try doing it herself, in part so bleached it last night, the natural colour brown is now a pale ginger, which doesn't suit her, and the ends are whitish. She had it cut in a bob last weeks so less hair to dye at least. She is bleaching it again now and then purple this afternoon, all ready for a night out in Liverpool tonight. She is staying at a friends but I'll be waking up all night to check she has texted to say she is back at friends (she expects this to be about 3am!!)

Dau has been told she is expected to do her fair share of chores going forward, and has committed to all the ironing plus other chores, but asked that she doesn't have to do so much that she doesn't get to do her own stuff in the next 3 weeks - whatever the issues we have she has always done some chores. We did give her a talking to about attitude last night.

When I first started posting on TP she was 12, and whilst my mum has deteriorated, I certainly didn't expect her to still be in sheltered extra care when my dau turned 18, and left school. I expected mum to be much further along the progress of this disease and in a home. Although to be fair I suspect at the stage she is at she wouldn't have settled into sheltered extra care and would have needed a home.

Mum is 89 and when the crisis happened and before she was adamant she wouldn't make 90 as no one in her family ever has, but at Christmas she was convinced she would make 100, although I really hope she doesn't.

Odd which events make you look back and forward.
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
Thanks for the hugs Juggles and everyone xxxxx

I’m feeling physically so much better than I have for ages. It was mooted about that I may have diabetes2 which I’m not convinced about, blood tests were borderline, and I had eaten a sugary cake not long before having blood test.... so another test has been requested.

I have and am delaying this test as it took a long time to get the blood out of me last time, and I passed out - veins collapse and then it’s painful - so not keen. Anyway we follow a diabetic diet because 2J has diet controlled diabetes so I guess it’s no more marshmallows or sugary buns and I will be ok - maybe....

After being rejected by “ladder” as their ladder wasn’t suitable for my kind of issues... I was given phone numbers to contact other places. To be honest, it was hard enough contact the first lot, let alone now having to contact another lot, to be told there is a 6 month waiting list....

I’m less down that dark hole than I was, I’m forcing myself and 2js to do something out of the home and garden and things are beginning to seem less bad.... it’s just when I go into the garage that isn’t good... been avoiding the garage... again :rolleyes:

Love to all. The sun is shining and we are getting ready for a gang invasion for the weekend of only 7 extra people - 4 little people who I’m really getting to enjoy now they are past the terrible 2’s :)
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
Sorry not to have given support to all, as you can see I’m still a bit self obsessed but keep in mind I do think of you all every day xxx
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,760
South coast of England
Sending lots of (((hugs))) to Jm and 2Js.

My scope went Ok. They found a polyp in my duodenum which they took biopsies from - they are sure that it is benign at the moment but will want to remove it if it is the kind that can turn nasty. I have also seen my GP today as my liver enzymes are raised (again) so we are going to retest in 2 weeks.
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,475
Suffolk
(((((Hugs))))) to everyone, seems like you all need them!
Hope things turn out OK, Slugsta. Definitely not what you need or want. I’m just sitting here admiring the blue sky! But boy, did we have some rain, thunder and lightening on Tuesday night! Apparently the bottom of the road is covered in sand. I an near the top of a bit of a hill - nothing that JM on her bike would notice though - and the soil is very sandy ( it’s not called The Sandlings for nothing!)
However, I must go out tomorrow and get things done!

Love to all.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,863
Chester
So in the land of the never ending juggling contest my washing machine didn't turn on this morning. Checked plug and it wasn't fully in socket, and wouldn't go in, so pulled it out, it seems to have melted a bit and the melted plastic round the prong was stopping it going into the socket. The cable from the machine was pulled tight, so maybe on the spin cycle it pulled out a bit and shorted. We weren't in the house so glad it didn't go on fire. I popped in about half an hour after it had finished and hung washing out, and didn't notice any burning smell, so must have been very minor, although we had left back door open for dog (we were at neighbours).

So quite lucky I suppose all things considered.

My progress so far is dishwasher on adjoining socket works, then plugged in a lamp to washing machine socket and that works so now to replace plug on machine and see if it works. I'm leaving that to OH as he is out for the day and no backlog of washing. I could do it but he'll do it in a third of the time it takes me and tell me I should have waited for him to do it so leaving him to it.

If it doesn't work guess machine might be knackered. Will have to borrow neighbours until can get a new one. Now dau has finished school she'll be able to sort that out.

In other news took mum's food round, she was snoozing in one of the lounges, post lunch nap which I know she takes in that lounge (was later than intended as realised I had forgotten her keys when I got to Morrison's). I took the opportunity to rummage through the piles of paper works he has, mainly junk mail. I found some invoices from a new care co (only found letter saying she had a new care co on last visit or so - polo shirts different colour but same staff so hadn't realised). Anyway these invoices go back to care from Novermber/December time, but first one seems to be dated March as it states issues in sorting things out - found another letter saying old care co went into liquidation. Also a letter dating 7th June demanding payment to date, but no other threat to demand.

The invoices should not go to my mum, they should go to me. the charges do look correct so I am OK with them - hadn't missed them as old care co hadn't invoiced for time and I wasn't 100% sure why as I had agreed the charges so will have to raise further queries.

I had got the normal call to say mum had no food - so when I queried if she had bread I was told she did but she couldn't live on bread alone (yes I know that but I don't want to buy bread if she has it). I then asked if she had cakes and cereal to be told they couldn't find anything in any of the cupboards - I said I know she has enough cereal to last a while as she doesn't eat it very fast - they didn't know. I am fed up of being told she has run out of certain things and going there and finding she has them.

I also had to use her loo whilst I was there (would have used public one downstairs if she had been in flat). That was not in an acceptable condition, but I didn't have gloves to be able to do anything about it, stuff was smeared where it shouldn't be.

I will be having a bit of a rant tomorrow.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
20,880
North Manchester
Not to worry about overheated plug/socket, machine is OK, just a not fully inserted plug causing arching, visually inspect and replace anything looking knackered.

Everything else par for the dementia experience.
Carry on juggling !!!
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,863
Chester
fuse was checked by swapping it over to another plug and that was fine, so it was only the melted plastic on the prong (probably a more technical term) that was an issue.

OH said he could have scraped that down but thought not sensible so put a different plug on. WAshing machine now working, with plenty of flex free so won't pull out at the moment.

Now feeling stressed as I don't want to have to do battle tomorrow with the various different bits of mum's sheltered extra care. Care team are on site so care issues with them, then finance issues a different phone call, and there is another finance issue linked to flat service charge increase which is the housing association - who send most post to me but not this one document every year. I might skip that last one until Tuesday as not so urgent.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,863
Chester
Thanks @Slugsta.

I spoke to care senior that I needed to speak with and also finance people so see what that does.

I think the Housing Assoc finance person is at my mum's 'village' on a Tuesday so will try and sort that out then. I need to speak to her anyway as one of the DD's hasn't gone through.
 

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