So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
Morning everyone,
Glad the knee is feeling better, Grace - hope it keeps on improving for you
Halloween can't be ignored in this house - its my oldest daughters birthday And its been a fab excuse, over the years, for some amazing fancy dress parties to celebrate!
Maureen, yep - you are right - I need to focus on making sure she has the basics, and sort everything else out gradually. Late Tuesday afternoon, I will be going to the hospital to collect the bulk of her clothes that are there - clean items will go straight to the home, along with personal belongings that I've sorted out as appropriate to take there. The aim is to make sure that she has at least 4 clean changes of clothes, and a good selection of nightwear. The laundry I picked up for her yesterday, when we visited, won't be going back to the hospital - that will go straight to the home. I'll check on toiletries at the same time, and stock up on anything she needs on route to the home. And yep - I think you are right - a return visit to the hospital is probably inevitable, if not for laundry, then possibly (probably) to track down what I am sure will be an extensive list of missing items
I've sorted out some personal items to take, Amy, and everytime I bring washing home from the hospital, I've been checking that all the clothes are still clearly marked with her name (sometimes tags come off, or even laundry marker can fade) The personal items have been a bit of a worry, TBH - there were several things that I had earmarked to go to the home with her, but lately she has developed a habit of throwing things, it seems So, I have revised the list, and have tried to include items that are not too breakable and which would hopefully not cause serious injury if Mil decides to lob them at someone! Which means that a lot of framed photographs are currently on the 'don't take' list - I'm planning on putting them into a series of small, light albums, so she will still have them - but there won't be the worry of broken glass or injured others to worry as they won't be in frames!
Thanks Lemony - you've actually put into words my concerns over the issues that may be caused by the shambolic approach that the hospital have had Despite the fact that at the last meeting we were told that the DST meeting would be organised straight away, as I've said, we found out last week from the SW that it hadn't been done - I do have notes that I requested from that meeting, where it says very clearly that Mil will be funded under 117 - though not sure how much use they will be I also wondered about there being yet another change of SW once she was discharged, and if this might cause problems. Not knowing how much good it would do, I've made it crystal to the hospital that if there are any delays or ****-ups due to them not having followed the procedures that they are supposed to, that I will be causing a ruckus - after last time, when they tried to discharge Mil without warning and without following procedure, they know that I will do that. I've been given the impression that there was some serious fall out for them over that, so I was hoping that this would mean that they would be very careful this time. And I think that they are being, because when we visited her last night (more on that later), one of the staff came to speak to us about what was happening - which makes a change from us having to chase them for info!
Basically, Mil is not being discharged on Wednesday - she is being given 2 weeks (minimum) leave - same deal as when we tried to bring her home. This will allow her to take the placement at the home, yet remain as a patient at the hospital, giving them time to ensure that procedure is followed correctly. That means she retains the SW she has now, that the DST meeting will take place prior to discharge (its scheduled to take place actually on Wednesday morning) and it even means that if there are any issues, then a bed will be held for her on the ward. I am hoping that all this means that we won't encounter any issues with more delays, mess ups over funding or anything else. The only potential 'snag' I can see is that until the boxes are ticked to confirm 117 funding, she may be charged fee's - however, that's not based on anything that's been said to me or that I've read, its just me trying to anticipate what might happen. And to be honest, if its just a couple of weeks, its not a biggie to me or OH - she has the funds and if it ensures that she can take this place at the home we think is best for her, then it will be worth it. Priority has to be getting her settled somewhere safe and appropriate.
I am also left wondering if part of the reason for the 'leave' rather than full discharge could be down to a deterioration in Mil's behaviour, after last night's visit. The staff who let us in went to take us through the last set of doors onto the ward, when we pointed out that we had youngest with us - because she is under 16, she isn't allowed to visit the ward and instead, when she comes with us to see her Nana we have to use a small room just outside that last set of doors. The staff looked a bit concerned and told us that Mil had been 'very agitated today' - OH I think took this to mean that they were worried that our visit might upset her more and was quick to tell her that if Mil seemed to be agitated by us being there, we would leave straight away. She didn't look particularly reassured by this, but opened up the small room and let us in to wait for Mil. Another staff brought Mil through to us - and tactfully, but quite strongly, reitterated what the first staff had said - that Mil had had a 'very bad day'. Mil was greeting us with big smiles, so though that struck us as a bit odd, we weren't particularly concerned. Until two minutes later, when another staff - one of the seniors this time - came in, primarily (we thought) to tell us about the plans for leave rather than discharge. But he then also handed me a personal alarm, and (not quite as tactful as the previous staff) made a point of emphasising that they had had a REALLY bad day with Mil, he mentioned 'verbal aggression', 'extreme agitation' and 'pretty bad swearing' and told us if there were any problems to 'press that red button' (on the alarm) and if there was an 'emergency' (!) to pull the cord on it and 'we will come running' He added that he felt that it was a good thing that she wasn't being discharged - 'just in case', which seemed to be a reference to whatever behaviour they had been dealing with from Mil during the day. We have visited with youngest lots of times, but previously, even when we have been told that Mil is agitated or had been having a 'bad day', we've never been given an alarm 'just in case' before!
It was clear Mil wasn't at her best - every few minutes she would ask 'isn't it time we were going home now?' or 'Come - time we went home'. Over and over we gave her the story that she would be going home in a couple of days when she felt better - each time she would say something that indicated she accepted this and agree, only to ask again about home with her very next sentence. There was no aggression or nastiness (that we saw) but she was clearly getting more confused and anxious about leaving, so the visit didn't last long. When she stood up and said she was going to the toilet and then we 'WERE' going home, OH led her back to the ward and we left (without even a good bye ) as she was guided towards the loo. It just seemed the most sensible thing to do - especially as we were just a bit concerned about having been given an alarm, and we were wondering exactly what had been going on. The staff that saw us out reitterated that Mil had had a 'bad day', and said that she had been 'really swearing' - but she obviously had to get back to the ward, so there was no chance of getting her to elaborate.
Mil is still on oral antibiotics, after the chest infection - the ward had told us it was a 'bit of an infection' and a 'mild infection, the SW told us that she had been told that Mil was very ill with pneumonia, we don't know yet which is more accurate! - and remembering how Mil nearly always had a bad reaction a few days into any course of AB's, I wondered how much of an impact they were having on her behaviour. But even if it is that, both OH and I found it really worrying that we were given that alarm - to us it suggested that the staff really expected Mil to potentially present a danger. With hindsight, we both wished that we had taken daughter straight out, but with staff not elaborating too much and the sheer unexpectedness of the situation, at the time, we just didn't think. The fact that the senior staff also said that the leave rather than discharge was a good idea because of her behaviour is concerning - was he implying that her behaviour was so bad that there were concerns that the home could mange/would keep her? We need to find out exactly what was going on to have the staff feeling that we neded to be provided with that alarm - that's on the list for the questions I'll be asking at the meetings on Wednesday!
Hoping to do a zoo trip today - we haven't been even once this month, between work and the flu lurgy we've had - but depends on the weather. At the moment, its tipping down I really want to go today, not only for a chance to get some more shots of the baby otters, but because there are apparently two new litters of bush dog puppies that I am dying to see
Wishing you all a peaceful and stress-free rest of the weekend xxxxx
Glad the knee is feeling better, Grace - hope it keeps on improving for you
Halloween can't be ignored in this house - its my oldest daughters birthday And its been a fab excuse, over the years, for some amazing fancy dress parties to celebrate!Maureen, yep - you are right - I need to focus on making sure she has the basics, and sort everything else out gradually. Late Tuesday afternoon, I will be going to the hospital to collect the bulk of her clothes that are there - clean items will go straight to the home, along with personal belongings that I've sorted out as appropriate to take there. The aim is to make sure that she has at least 4 clean changes of clothes, and a good selection of nightwear. The laundry I picked up for her yesterday, when we visited, won't be going back to the hospital - that will go straight to the home. I'll check on toiletries at the same time, and stock up on anything she needs on route to the home. And yep - I think you are right - a return visit to the hospital is probably inevitable, if not for laundry, then possibly (probably) to track down what I am sure will be an extensive list of missing items
I've sorted out some personal items to take, Amy, and everytime I bring washing home from the hospital, I've been checking that all the clothes are still clearly marked with her name (sometimes tags come off, or even laundry marker can fade) The personal items have been a bit of a worry, TBH - there were several things that I had earmarked to go to the home with her, but lately she has developed a habit of throwing things, it seems
So, I have revised the list, and have tried to include items that are not too breakable and which would hopefully not cause serious injury if Mil decides to lob them at someone! Which means that a lot of framed photographs are currently on the 'don't take' list - I'm planning on putting them into a series of small, light albums, so she will still have them - but there won't be the worry of broken glass or injured others to worry as they won't be in frames!Thanks Lemony - you've actually put into words my concerns over the issues that may be caused by the shambolic approach that the hospital have had
Despite the fact that at the last meeting we were told that the DST meeting would be organised straight away, as I've said, we found out last week from the SW that it hadn't been done - I do have notes that I requested from that meeting, where it says very clearly that Mil will be funded under 117 - though not sure how much use they will be I also wondered about there being yet another change of SW once she was discharged, and if this might cause problems. Not knowing how much good it would do, I've made it crystal to the hospital that if there are any delays or ****-ups due to them not having followed the procedures that they are supposed to, that I will be causing a ruckus - after last time, when they tried to discharge Mil without warning and without following procedure, they know that I will do that. I've been given the impression that there was some serious fall out for them over that, so I was hoping that this would mean that they would be very careful this time. And I think that they are being, because when we visited her last night (more on that later), one of the staff came to speak to us about what was happening - which makes a change from us having to chase them for info!Basically, Mil is not being discharged on Wednesday - she is being given 2 weeks (minimum) leave - same deal as when we tried to bring her home. This will allow her to take the placement at the home, yet remain as a patient at the hospital, giving them time to ensure that procedure is followed correctly. That means she retains the SW she has now, that the DST meeting will take place prior to discharge (its scheduled to take place actually on Wednesday morning) and it even means that if there are any issues, then a bed will be held for her on the ward. I am hoping that all this means that we won't encounter any issues with more delays, mess ups over funding or anything else. The only potential 'snag' I can see is that until the boxes are ticked to confirm 117 funding, she may be charged fee's - however, that's not based on anything that's been said to me or that I've read, its just me trying to anticipate what might happen. And to be honest, if its just a couple of weeks, its not a biggie to me or OH - she has the funds and if it ensures that she can take this place at the home we think is best for her, then it will be worth it. Priority has to be getting her settled somewhere safe and appropriate.
I am also left wondering if part of the reason for the 'leave' rather than full discharge could be down to a deterioration in Mil's behaviour, after last night's visit. The staff who let us in went to take us through the last set of doors onto the ward, when we pointed out that we had youngest with us - because she is under 16, she isn't allowed to visit the ward and instead, when she comes with us to see her Nana we have to use a small room just outside that last set of doors. The staff looked a bit concerned and told us that Mil had been 'very agitated today' - OH I think took this to mean that they were worried that our visit might upset her more and was quick to tell her that if Mil seemed to be agitated by us being there, we would leave straight away. She didn't look particularly reassured by this, but opened up the small room and let us in to wait for Mil. Another staff brought Mil through to us - and tactfully, but quite strongly, reitterated what the first staff had said - that Mil had had a 'very bad day'. Mil was greeting us with big smiles, so though that struck us as a bit odd, we weren't particularly concerned. Until two minutes later, when another staff - one of the seniors this time - came in, primarily (we thought) to tell us about the plans for leave rather than discharge. But he then also handed me a personal alarm, and (not quite as tactful as the previous staff) made a point of emphasising that they had had a REALLY bad day with Mil, he mentioned 'verbal aggression', 'extreme agitation' and 'pretty bad swearing' and told us if there were any problems to 'press that red button' (on the alarm) and if there was an 'emergency' (!) to pull the cord on it and 'we will come running'
He added that he felt that it was a good thing that she wasn't being discharged - 'just in case', which seemed to be a reference to whatever behaviour they had been dealing with from Mil during the day. We have visited with youngest lots of times, but previously, even when we have been told that Mil is agitated or had been having a 'bad day', we've never been given an alarm 'just in case' before!It was clear Mil wasn't at her best - every few minutes she would ask 'isn't it time we were going home now?' or 'Come - time we went home'. Over and over we gave her the story that she would be going home in a couple of days when she felt better - each time she would say something that indicated she accepted this and agree, only to ask again about home with her very next sentence. There was no aggression or nastiness (that we saw) but she was clearly getting more confused and anxious about leaving, so the visit didn't last long. When she stood up and said she was going to the toilet and then we 'WERE' going home, OH led her back to the ward and we left (without even a good bye
) as she was guided towards the loo. It just seemed the most sensible thing to do - especially as we were just a bit concerned about having been given an alarm, and we were wondering exactly what had been going on. The staff that saw us out reitterated that Mil had had a 'bad day', and said that she had been 'really swearing' - but she obviously had to get back to the ward, so there was no chance of getting her to elaborate. Mil is still on oral antibiotics, after the chest infection - the ward had told us it was a 'bit of an infection' and a 'mild infection, the SW told us that she had been told that Mil was very ill with pneumonia, we don't know yet which is more accurate! - and remembering how Mil nearly always had a bad reaction a few days into any course of AB's, I wondered how much of an impact they were having on her behaviour. But even if it is that, both OH and I found it really worrying that we were given that alarm - to us it suggested that the staff really expected Mil to potentially present a danger. With hindsight, we both wished that we had taken daughter straight out, but with staff not elaborating too much and the sheer unexpectedness of the situation, at the time, we just didn't think. The fact that the senior staff also said that the leave rather than discharge was a good idea because of her behaviour is concerning - was he implying that her behaviour was so bad that there were concerns that the home could mange/would keep her? We need to find out exactly what was going on to have the staff feeling that we neded to be provided with that alarm - that's on the list for the questions I'll be asking at the meetings on Wednesday!
Hoping to do a zoo trip today - we haven't been even once this month, between work and the flu lurgy we've had - but depends on the weather. At the moment, its tipping down
I really want to go today, not only for a chance to get some more shots of the baby otters, but because there are apparently two new litters of bush dog puppies that I am dying to see Wishing you all a peaceful and stress-free rest of the weekend xxxxx
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Normally a case is prepared after the SW prepares paperwork, collects info etc and then that goes to panel for discussion. The panel only sit every so many weeks etc. Until they stamp the paperwork then 117 is not a cert. If the person is bed blocking, will be cheaper to fund out in the community or is very close to end of life they speed things up and it can be a few days/week. IIRC.
To be honest I agree that your MIL is at real risk of a failed discharge. The panic alarm shows the hospitals grave concerns over their safety. I would hazard a guess that they only deal with your MIL in pairs to protect themselves. She must be on a watch to ensure safety of other patients. If this doesn't meet 117 then what the hell does?
To be honest I agree that your MIL is at real risk of a failed discharge. The panic alarm shows the hospitals grave concerns over their safety. I would hazard a guess that they only deal with your MIL in pairs to protect themselves. She must be on a watch to ensure safety of other patients. If this doesn't meet 117 then what the hell does?
Evening all,
Ann, Hurrah! for Busta-dog, it's great to hear that he is almost his usual self. I did laugh at your description of how he is reacting to his normal food
I'm very glad that your IT issues are now sorted so that you can spend your work time actually working rather than faffing about with the comp.
I'm even more glad that there is now a bed in the CH for MIL - although I do share your concerns about MIL's behaviour causing problems. I hope that the CH is still the best place for her, for everyone's sake. Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly regarding the CH admission, transfer, funding etc.
(Onlyme, thanks for pointing out potential problems, forewarned is forearmed etc.)
It sounds as if Halloween is fun in your house, I'm glad that your daughter will be home again this year. Coincidentally, both of my Godsons (who don't even know each other) were born on 1st Nov. The youngest will be 23 this year, so I think he is a bit too old for a party - but his mum used to make a lot of effort when he was younger.
JM, I'm so glad that your daughter is clearly improving, I do hope that she is soon back to normal.
Grace, I do agree that your knee and back pain is possibly caused by your altered gait since the other knee op. It's certainly worth running this past your physio.
Well done for standing firm against your out-laws. I suppose it's not realistic to dream up a bad attack of a nasty communicable disease so that they couldn't even think of MIL living with you??
Amy, I have everything crossed that the meeting goes as well as it possible can. How are you feeling now? You have been under a lot of pressure for a long time and that kind of thing really can take its toll. Please be kind to yourself - don't forget that you are only human!
My Mum's shower is fixed - although she's not letting anyone help her use it at the moment. The washing machine was a different matter as it was deemed irreparable and a new one is due to be delivered tomorrow. We did wonder whether to bother as I do a lot of the washing. However, if she has no machine I will have to do it all, there will be no option for the carers to get dirty bedding sorted out on the days I don't visit. I'm a bit apprehensive that this would be considered a mis-use of her funds, as it is helping me as much as her. However, I will just have to hope that it is never called into question!
The staff where Mum lives have spoken to their Housing Officer about Mum and the HO is asking that she be reassessed, she is not sure that the flat is still the best place for her. I'm not sure who I should approach about this - I don't think her GP is the right person but don't know whether the Memory Clinic would see her early if I asked them? After all, what can they do? The SW can be asked to do another needs assessment, which might give us another day at DC, but I don't know whether it will say whether or not she should be living where she is? Mum will not be self-funding and I can't see the LA wanting to find a CH yet, even if Mum is asked to leave where she is currently living!
We had a good time in London, even though things didn't really work out as planned. TBH, one of the best things, for me, was knowing that I was 'off duty' for the weekend! I really don't know how you people cope who have this 24/7 with little/no respite!
The play last night was excellent ( http://www.lovetheatre.com/tickets/...HGF2N-JWA3YERn7G6kad_TeLumeEhDNFoKxoCFFTw_wcB ) I'm not usually into slapstick, but they must have caught me in just the right mood as I laughed pretty much non-stop for the whole 2 hours If you get the chance to see this, do give it a go. I would also like to see 'The play that goes wrong' which is by the same company.
I wondered how Sky would be when we got back, as this is the first time we have left her. As expected, she was a little more skittish when we first got home but she happily came for a cuddle, so I don't think we will see much of a 'relapse'.
No aquagym for me tomorrow, Mum's washing machine is due for delivery between 7.45 and 9.45 and we need to do a bit of shopping too (we ran out of time on Friday). We have a couple of viewings tomorrow afternoon and I will see my friend in between.
Sending ((( hugs ))) and ~~~vibes~~~ to all who need/want them.
Ann, Hurrah! for Busta-dog, it's great to hear that he is almost his usual self. I did laugh at your description of how he is reacting to his normal food
I'm very glad that your IT issues are now sorted so that you can spend your work time actually working rather than faffing about with the comp.
I'm even more glad that there is now a bed in the CH for MIL - although I do share your concerns about MIL's behaviour causing problems. I hope that the CH is still the best place for her, for everyone's sake. Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly regarding the CH admission, transfer, funding etc.
(Onlyme, thanks for pointing out potential problems, forewarned is forearmed etc.)
It sounds as if Halloween is fun in your house, I'm glad that your daughter will be home again this year. Coincidentally, both of my Godsons (who don't even know each other) were born on 1st Nov. The youngest will be 23 this year, so I think he is a bit too old for a party - but his mum used to make a lot of effort when he was younger.
JM, I'm so glad that your daughter is clearly improving, I do hope that she is soon back to normal.
Grace, I do agree that your knee and back pain is possibly caused by your altered gait since the other knee op. It's certainly worth running this past your physio.
Well done for standing firm against your out-laws. I suppose it's not realistic to dream up a bad attack of a nasty communicable disease so that they couldn't even think of MIL living with you??
Amy, I have everything crossed that the meeting goes as well as it possible can. How are you feeling now? You have been under a lot of pressure for a long time and that kind of thing really can take its toll. Please be kind to yourself - don't forget that you are only human!
My Mum's shower is fixed - although she's not letting anyone help her use it at the moment. The washing machine was a different matter as it was deemed irreparable and a new one is due to be delivered tomorrow. We did wonder whether to bother as I do a lot of the washing. However, if she has no machine I will have to do it all, there will be no option for the carers to get dirty bedding sorted out on the days I don't visit. I'm a bit apprehensive that this would be considered a mis-use of her funds, as it is helping me as much as her. However, I will just have to hope that it is never called into question!
The staff where Mum lives have spoken to their Housing Officer about Mum and the HO is asking that she be reassessed, she is not sure that the flat is still the best place for her. I'm not sure who I should approach about this - I don't think her GP is the right person but don't know whether the Memory Clinic would see her early if I asked them? After all, what can they do? The SW can be asked to do another needs assessment, which might give us another day at DC, but I don't know whether it will say whether or not she should be living where she is? Mum will not be self-funding and I can't see the LA wanting to find a CH yet, even if Mum is asked to leave where she is currently living!
We had a good time in London, even though things didn't really work out as planned. TBH, one of the best things, for me, was knowing that I was 'off duty' for the weekend! I really don't know how you people cope who have this 24/7 with little/no respite!
The play last night was excellent ( http://www.lovetheatre.com/tickets/...HGF2N-JWA3YERn7G6kad_TeLumeEhDNFoKxoCFFTw_wcB ) I'm not usually into slapstick, but they must have caught me in just the right mood as I laughed pretty much non-stop for the whole 2 hours
If you get the chance to see this, do give it a go. I would also like to see 'The play that goes wrong' which is by the same company.I wondered how Sky would be when we got back, as this is the first time we have left her. As expected, she was a little more skittish when we first got home but she happily came for a cuddle, so I don't think we will see much of a 'relapse'.
No aquagym for me tomorrow, Mum's washing machine is due for delivery between 7.45 and 9.45 and we need to do a bit of shopping too (we ran out of time on Friday). We have a couple of viewings tomorrow afternoon and I will see my friend in between.
Sending ((( hugs ))) and ~~~vibes~~~ to all who need/want them.
Morning everyone,
Thanks for all this info, Lemony - I didn't realise that 117 has to go to panal - that's something we haven't been told, and given the info that I've found on 117 funding, it isn't something that I thought would happen. I've looked over the bits of info I've found and saved and came across this
"Section 117 states that aftercare services must be provided to patients who have been detained in hospital:
For treatment under Section 3
Under a hospital order pursuant to Section 37 (with or without a restriction order) or
Following transfer from prison under Section 47 or 48.
This also includes patients on authorised leave from hospital and patients who were previously detained under Section 3 but who stayed in hospital after discharge from section.
It also includes people who are living in the community subject to a community treatment order and restricted patients who have been conditionally discharged"
The bits that I've underlined apply to Mil (and having looked at this again, it seems that even her care whilst on leave from the hospital should be funded under the 117) and the impression I've been given by the hospital is that the funding is pretty much autmatic in Mil's circumstances - the SW says she must be present at a DST and that she may recommend that CHC is also awarded to Mil (which would have to go to panal as I understand it) but that either way, Mil's funding will be covered. Obviously, from the info you have given, I need to chase this up and verify that there are not going to be any handy (for them) and unexpected loopholes or tactics to allow them to change the goalposts last minute - awful that you have to spend so much time anticipating slippery, underhand actions and trying to work out how to deal in advance If worst comes to worst, Mil has the funds to pay for around 18 months or so (talking into account her private pension, as well as her 'savings') but its after that I am worried about. Yes the LA should step in at that point, but I know they tend to pay a lower rate - and if Mil is as difficult, even if only on some occasions, as the provision of that panic alarm suggested the other night, then I am worried that the home will feel that her needs are too demanding to be covered by that lower rate, will say 'Can't cope' and it may mean more upheaval for her.
Even if the 117 turns out to be sorted quickly, the provision of that alarm when we visited has set other alarm bells ringing in my head. It just strikes me as a quite - I don't know, is ominous the right word? - thing for the hospital to do. And for the senior nurse to then very clearly imply that her behaviour was yet another good reason to go with giving her 'leave' rather than immediate discharge makes those bells ring louder. Is there some worry that even an EMI nursing home won't be able to cope with her behaviour at its worst? And if that is the case - what then? It hadn't occured to me that the home coping with Mil might be an issue - but this nurse seemed to be suggesting that it might be
Slugsta, so glad you enjoyed your trip to London and that Sky coped so well with you being away I honestly wouldn't worry about spening your Mum's money on a washer - its a completely justifiable spend! When Mil lived here, she paid for the alterations to make our bathroom suitable for her needs and I queried it (repeatedly) on the grounds that part of the need for the alterations was to make things easier for me because of my back . I was assured, over and over, that it was still acceptable, because the end result was for Mil's benefit - it was better for her (at that point) that I should be able to provide assistance with her personal care, so with any expense that resulted from that, it was appropriste that she cover the costs. Same goes for your Mum buying a new washer - its to deal with her washing, its for her benefit - no one could argue that she shouldn't pay xxx
When its come to reviews involving a 'change in needs' for Mil, her CPN seems to have been the best person for us to speak to, Slugsta. I know when Mil lived here and the question about whether or not the first DC she went to was still suitable arose, it was the CPN that we spoke to, and as she agreed, she was the person who found an alternative and completed all the paperwork needed for Mil to transfer to a secure DC. At meetings prior to us trying to bring Mil back home to us, her consultant, senior staff nurse and (again) the CPN all spoke and strongly recommended that Mil should not come back home but should go into residential care - now they agreed to us trying again, BUT it was very clear that had we agreed with them, then that's what would have happened at that point. If your Mum has a CPN I would ask them for a review based on the staff and HO's concerns, and failing that, I would contact the SW.
Off to Manchester today, and as its a long day (won't be home till around 10 tonight), I only have to work a half day tomorrow, leaving us with tomorrow afternoon for OH and I to run to and from the home, sorting out Mil's new room. Wednesday I have all those meetings to attend and Mil will actually be moving (or at least, thats the plan) - its going to be one heck of a mad few days, and I'll update everyone when I can. Wish us luck - this feels so disorganised and 'last minute' that I think we will need it!
Take care and have a good day, everyone xxxx
Thanks for all this info, Lemony - I didn't realise that 117 has to go to panal - that's something we haven't been told, and given the info that I've found on 117 funding, it isn't something that I thought would happen. I've looked over the bits of info I've found and saved and came across this
"Section 117 states that aftercare services must be provided to patients who have been detained in hospital:
For treatment under Section 3
Under a hospital order pursuant to Section 37 (with or without a restriction order) or
Following transfer from prison under Section 47 or 48.
This also includes patients on authorised leave from hospital and patients who were previously detained under Section 3 but who stayed in hospital after discharge from section.
It also includes people who are living in the community subject to a community treatment order and restricted patients who have been conditionally discharged"
The bits that I've underlined apply to Mil (and having looked at this again, it seems that even her care whilst on leave from the hospital should be funded under the 117) and the impression I've been given by the hospital is that the funding is pretty much autmatic in Mil's circumstances - the SW says she must be present at a DST and that she may recommend that CHC is also awarded to Mil (which would have to go to panal as I understand it) but that either way, Mil's funding will be covered. Obviously, from the info you have given, I need to chase this up and verify that there are not going to be any handy (for them) and unexpected loopholes or tactics to allow them to change the goalposts last minute - awful that you have to spend so much time anticipating slippery, underhand actions and trying to work out how to deal in advance
If worst comes to worst, Mil has the funds to pay for around 18 months or so (talking into account her private pension, as well as her 'savings') but its after that I am worried about. Yes the LA should step in at that point, but I know they tend to pay a lower rate - and if Mil is as difficult, even if only on some occasions, as the provision of that panic alarm suggested the other night, then I am worried that the home will feel that her needs are too demanding to be covered by that lower rate, will say 'Can't cope' and it may mean more upheaval for her.Even if the 117 turns out to be sorted quickly, the provision of that alarm when we visited has set other alarm bells ringing in my head. It just strikes me as a quite - I don't know, is ominous the right word? - thing for the hospital to do. And for the senior nurse to then very clearly imply that her behaviour was yet another good reason to go with giving her 'leave' rather than immediate discharge makes those bells ring louder. Is there some worry that even an EMI nursing home won't be able to cope with her behaviour at its worst? And if that is the case - what then? It hadn't occured to me that the home coping with Mil might be an issue - but this nurse seemed to be suggesting that it might be
Slugsta, so glad you enjoyed your trip to London and that Sky coped so well with you being away
I honestly wouldn't worry about spening your Mum's money on a washer - its a completely justifiable spend! When Mil lived here, she paid for the alterations to make our bathroom suitable for her needs and I queried it (repeatedly) on the grounds that part of the need for the alterations was to make things easier for me because of my back . I was assured, over and over, that it was still acceptable, because the end result was for Mil's benefit - it was better for her (at that point) that I should be able to provide assistance with her personal care, so with any expense that resulted from that, it was appropriste that she cover the costs. Same goes for your Mum buying a new washer - its to deal with her washing, its for her benefit - no one could argue that she shouldn't pay xxxWhen its come to reviews involving a 'change in needs' for Mil, her CPN seems to have been the best person for us to speak to, Slugsta. I know when Mil lived here and the question about whether or not the first DC she went to was still suitable arose, it was the CPN that we spoke to, and as she agreed, she was the person who found an alternative and completed all the paperwork needed for Mil to transfer to a secure DC. At meetings prior to us trying to bring Mil back home to us, her consultant, senior staff nurse and (again) the CPN all spoke and strongly recommended that Mil should not come back home but should go into residential care - now they agreed to us trying again, BUT it was very clear that had we agreed with them, then that's what would have happened at that point. If your Mum has a CPN I would ask them for a review based on the staff and HO's concerns, and failing that, I would contact the SW.
Off to Manchester today, and as its a long day (won't be home till around 10 tonight), I only have to work a half day tomorrow, leaving us with tomorrow afternoon for OH and I to run to and from the home, sorting out Mil's new room. Wednesday I have all those meetings to attend and Mil will actually be moving (or at least, thats the plan) - its going to be one heck of a mad few days, and I'll update everyone when I can. Wish us luck - this feels so disorganised and 'last minute' that I think we will need it!
Take care and have a good day, everyone xxxx
Amy - hope that your meeting goes well today. I don't know if you'll see this before you go, but do hope you can find out what to expect on dementia side with the washing/changing clothes and soiled clothes in wardrobe aspect. Your mum is paying for this so you expect her to be properly cared for.
Ann - I've been following your comments and why oh why is it all so complicated.
Was too tired last night to comment, full of lurgy.
I'll catch up with the rest of you later - hope you all have good days.
Ann - I've been following your comments and why oh why is it all so complicated.
Was too tired last night to comment, full of lurgy.
I'll catch up with the rest of you later - hope you all have good days.
JM, sorry to hear about your lurgy, and hope you start feeling better soon. Thanks for your good wishes about the care conference/care home meeting later this morning. DH and I went over my list of questions last night, he added a few, and I'm as ready as I know to be. I will certainly come back with an update and let you all know how it went.
Hope your daughter missed the lurgy and that she is continuing her recovery.
Ann, I can't comment on the funding issues, but I hope, hope, hope this all gets worked out satisfactorily.
Hope your trip to Manchester today goes well.
Slugsta, I cannot imagine that it would be a problem to replace your mother's washing machine. As you say, the carers (or you) often find soiled laundry or clothing and it's definitely in your mother's best interests for soiled linens to be washed as quickly as possible. I can't even imagine who would have the effrontery to challenge you on that, but perhaps I shouldn't ask!
I enjoyed hearing about your trip to London, although a little dismayed that it was perhaps not what you were anticipating, but you sound as though you enjoyed yourself anyway. On a trip a couple of years ago, my aunt and cousin very much enjoyed The Play that Goes Wrong so I imagine the panto version is just as entertaining. I think sometimes we all need a good laugh.
I wish I could advise about where you should start for a re-assessment, but the vagaries of your system mostly elude me. At a guess I'd say ask the social worker, but don't feel confident you will receive much assistance from that quarter. If the group here doesn't know I'd ask the boards at large; someone may have been in this same situation and have advice. Unless Age UK could perhaps advise you over the phone?
If I am very honest, Slugsta, yes, I am doing better, but it's slow and unsteady progress. I don't ever seem to quite feel I have my footing, if that makes any sense. And DH is still adjusting to the death of his father this summer and all the implications therein. I am not going to be sorry to see the end of 2016.
I have to go get ready for this meeting. I'm between dread (that I will find out something I didn't want to know) and hope (that I will get information that's useful). I'm sure you all know the feeling.
Thanks much for the support.
Sending good wishes and support back to all of you!
Hope your daughter missed the lurgy and that she is continuing her recovery.
Ann, I can't comment on the funding issues, but I hope, hope, hope this all gets worked out satisfactorily.
Hope your trip to Manchester today goes well.
Slugsta, I cannot imagine that it would be a problem to replace your mother's washing machine. As you say, the carers (or you) often find soiled laundry or clothing and it's definitely in your mother's best interests for soiled linens to be washed as quickly as possible. I can't even imagine who would have the effrontery to challenge you on that, but perhaps I shouldn't ask!
I enjoyed hearing about your trip to London, although a little dismayed that it was perhaps not what you were anticipating, but you sound as though you enjoyed yourself anyway. On a trip a couple of years ago, my aunt and cousin very much enjoyed The Play that Goes Wrong so I imagine the panto version is just as entertaining. I think sometimes we all need a good laugh.
I wish I could advise about where you should start for a re-assessment, but the vagaries of your system mostly elude me. At a guess I'd say ask the social worker, but don't feel confident you will receive much assistance from that quarter. If the group here doesn't know I'd ask the boards at large; someone may have been in this same situation and have advice. Unless Age UK could perhaps advise you over the phone?
If I am very honest, Slugsta, yes, I am doing better, but it's slow and unsteady progress. I don't ever seem to quite feel I have my footing, if that makes any sense. And DH is still adjusting to the death of his father this summer and all the implications therein. I am not going to be sorry to see the end of 2016.
I have to go get ready for this meeting. I'm between dread (that I will find out something I didn't want to know) and hope (that I will get information that's useful). I'm sure you all know the feeling.
Thanks much for the support.
Sending good wishes and support back to all of you!
I know your MIL was sectioned and held on a 3 but has that been converted to a DOLS? If so the section 3 may well have gone, CHC will then be an issue rather than 117. CHC goes to panel as you said. After all the **** ups I think you need this written in gold leaf!
Ps your inbox is full
Ps your inbox is full
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I understood from other threads I've read that once a Section 3 was applied then it lasts for the remainder of the stay in hospital, it can't be removed and s117 follows and DOLS is not relevant.
I understand that often on expiry of a section 2 DOLS is then applied (often incorrectly instead of section 3)
CHC is completely separate from s117, and CHC can be withdrawn, but s117 can't is my understanding.
I understand that often on expiry of a section 2 DOLS is then applied (often incorrectly instead of section 3)
CHC is completely separate from s117, and CHC can be withdrawn, but s117 can't is my understanding.
I think at the moment the new SW is questioning all the previous meetings and their findings and wants to redo them to her satisfaction as a lot of steps were missed last time. I think we are all worried as to what has been documented by Dr. Is there a written statement to prove MIL is on a section3?
"... but s117 can't is my understanding."
Note that s117 exceptionally can be terminated.
The duty to provide aftercare services under Section 117 ends when in England, the clinical commissioning group (in Wales, the local health board) and the local social services authority are both satisfied that the person concerned is no longer in need of such services. The authorities can only be satisfied that the person concerned is no longer in need of aftercare services if they have monitored that person’s progress in the community since discharge.
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-...lth-act/when-does-aftercare-end-and-who-pays/
Note that s117 exceptionally can be terminated.
The duty to provide aftercare services under Section 117 ends when in England, the clinical commissioning group (in Wales, the local health board) and the local social services authority are both satisfied that the person concerned is no longer in need of such services. The authorities can only be satisfied that the person concerned is no longer in need of aftercare services if they have monitored that person’s progress in the community since discharge.
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-...lth-act/when-does-aftercare-end-and-who-pays/
I've come across a couple of cases where the s3 was lifted and there was no ongoing s117 - but one was a teenager, and one was a young adult, living at home (now uni for the teenager) ie living independently in the community with no ongoing care requirements.
From what I've ever seen posted on TP the s117 is ongoing if care is required - nitram will probably know more, I have always understood living in the community to mean not in a care home setting of some sort.
From what I've ever seen posted on TP the s117 is ongoing if care is required - nitram will probably know more, I have always understood living in the community to mean not in a care home setting of some sort.
If a person's mental condition improves to the extent that specialist mental health services are no longer required but they still require accommodation in a residential setting s117 can be withdrawn and the person moved to an appropriate setting.
Discharge from s117 need not be into the community.
With the progressive nature of dementia an improvement in mental condition is unlikely.
Whether a person who has lost all mobility can still require specialist mental health services I don't know.
33.20 The duty to provide after-care services exists until both the CCG and the local authority are satisfied that the patient no longer requires them. The circumstances in which it is appropriate to end section 117 after-care will vary from person to person and according to the nature of the services being provided. The most clearcut circumstance in which after-care would end is where the person’s mental health improved to a point where they no longer needed services to meet needs arising from or related to their mental disorder. If these services included, for example, care in a specialist residential setting, the arrangements for their move to more appropriate accommodation would need to be in place before support under section 117 is finally withdrawn. Fully involving the patient and (if indicated) their carer and/or advocate in the decision-making process will play an important part in the successful ending of after-care.
33.21 After-care services under section 117 should not be withdrawn solely on the grounds that:
• the patient has been discharged from the care of specialist mental health services
• an arbitrary period has passed since the care was first provided
• the patient is deprived of their liberty under the MCA
• the patient has returned to hospital informally or under section 2, or
• the patient is no longer on a CTO or section 17 leave.
33.22 After-care services may be reinstated if it becomes obvious that they have been withdrawn prematurely, eg where a patient’s mental condition begins to deteriorate immediately after services are withdrawn
33.23 Even when the provision of after-care has been successful in that the patient is now well-settled in the community, the patient may still continue to need after-care services, eg to prevent a relapse or further deterioration in their condition.
P360
https://www.gov.uk/government/uploa...ent_data/file/435512/MHA_Code_of_Practice.PDF
Discharge from s117 need not be into the community.
With the progressive nature of dementia an improvement in mental condition is unlikely.
Whether a person who has lost all mobility can still require specialist mental health services I don't know.
33.20 The duty to provide after-care services exists until both the CCG and the local authority are satisfied that the patient no longer requires them. The circumstances in which it is appropriate to end section 117 after-care will vary from person to person and according to the nature of the services being provided. The most clearcut circumstance in which after-care would end is where the person’s mental health improved to a point where they no longer needed services to meet needs arising from or related to their mental disorder. If these services included, for example, care in a specialist residential setting, the arrangements for their move to more appropriate accommodation would need to be in place before support under section 117 is finally withdrawn. Fully involving the patient and (if indicated) their carer and/or advocate in the decision-making process will play an important part in the successful ending of after-care.
33.21 After-care services under section 117 should not be withdrawn solely on the grounds that:
• the patient has been discharged from the care of specialist mental health services
• an arbitrary period has passed since the care was first provided
• the patient is deprived of their liberty under the MCA
• the patient has returned to hospital informally or under section 2, or
• the patient is no longer on a CTO or section 17 leave.
33.22 After-care services may be reinstated if it becomes obvious that they have been withdrawn prematurely, eg where a patient’s mental condition begins to deteriorate immediately after services are withdrawn
33.23 Even when the provision of after-care has been successful in that the patient is now well-settled in the community, the patient may still continue to need after-care services, eg to prevent a relapse or further deterioration in their condition.
P360
https://www.gov.uk/government/uploa...ent_data/file/435512/MHA_Code_of_Practice.PDF
Hi everyone
Oh boy - lots to take in! Thank you for all the comments and info, guys - evry bit helps!
Lemony, there has never been any mention of a DOLs for Mil. There was definitely an assessment by a SW (and somewhere in my notes, I'm sure I have her name, though she was not the same SW as we are dealing with now) who was involved in the section 3, because she phoned me, and actually gave me quite a bit of info about how Mil was and how it was sadly very obvious that Mil had no capacity and that she was now letting us know that Mil had been placed under a section 3. The section 3 is also referred to in the copy of notes I have from the meeting where they told me catgorically that Mil would be funded under 117 because she had been placed under a section 3.
There's also the point that at the time the section 3 was placed on Mil, it was just a few days after the absolute farce when the previous consultant called OH in for a 'chat' and attempted to have Mil discharged the very next day - I'd just had that awful injection and was off my feet, Mil had spent more time on medical wards with a chest infection than she had actually spent on the EMH unit and we were concerned because it seemed that they actually hadn't done anything with her meds, and nor had they done a mobility assessment, never mind that to discharge her after a 'chat' didn't come anywhere near meeting their own procedures for a proper discharge. We had kicked up a tremendous fuss and I'd put in a formal complaint. I'm pretty certain that they would have crossed all the 'T's' and dot all the 'I's' for the section 3, as they were being scrutinised at the time - and the current SW hasn't said anything to indicate that they didn't. I would imagine that after the fuss raised last time, they would be rather wary of claiming that they have made another mistake at this point - they know damn well that I would jump on that. What the current SW is saying is that the meeting, several weeks later, where the new consultant told us that Mil didn't have LBD, that she definitely needed EMI nursing and was now ready for discharge did not meet the criteria for the correct discharge procedure. A SW should have been present, and should then have arranged a best interests meeting to confirm that the consultants recommendations were right for Mil (and this would have included another capacity test) and a DST meeting - because although this SW has said that Mil would be fully funded under 117, they also have a duty to see if she qualifies for CHC too - as the cash for that comes from a different 'pot'. ( One of the things that I need to check is that if she is awarded CHC, what happens regarding funding IF (when) they decide that she is no longer entitled to CHC - because that seems to be what generally happens, from what I've read on here.). So it seems the issues are yet again with the discharge procedure, but not the section 3. The SW is saying that the ward should have notified her that this meeting was taking place so she could have continued with the correct next steps - the only response I've had from the ward is that one nurse commented that the SW should have got 'off her backside and found out what was going on' with Mil and got all these things organised. I'm not interested with getting into a who's fault is it anyway-type row at this point - they can sort it out for themselves - just in making sure that things are now done correctly and that Mil's placement isn't put in jeopardy because of 'whoever' not following the correct procedure.
As I understand it, as JM says, once a section 3 has been put in place a DOL's is irrelevant and can't replace it.
Incidentally, the section 3 wasn't applied because of her aggression. The aggression has developed and become a bigger issue since then. The section 3 was applied because she lacked the capacity to understand and make informed choices regarding her own care and treatment, and it was needed to keep her in hospital and allow the doctors to change her meds and treatment without her consent - or at least, thats what I was told. That is not going to change, she is never going to get that capacity back - though I think Nitram, that if she does lose mobility and/or the aggression stops, if she no longer needs prn meds due to the dementia or other health conditions, that there could be an argument that she no longer needs EMI nursing care but I don't think that the could ever argue against the need for an EMI residential placement because of her mental state. So I think, from what you have posted and the circumstances under which the section 3 was appied, that 117 funding for some form of EMI residential care couldn't ever be completely withdrawn, though its possible that paying a top up or moving her to an EMI home could happen.
Of course, the powers that be have their own extremely creative approach to interpreting the legislation in order to save money - so no matter what any of us think, no matter the extent to which the law/rules would appear to be in Mil's favour as regards funding, I'm sure if they can they will find a way to avoid financing Mil. At this point, as I've said, the primary concern is that their incompetence so far doesn't cost her the placement at the home. I'll do what I can to make ensure that there is less likliehood of them being able to change the goalposts as regards funding, obviously - but getting her safe and settled is my main focus.
Amy, I have fingers and toes crossed that your meeting went well, with no nasty surprises or unexpected glitches to cause you more stress and worry - and yes please, do update us xxxx
JM - hope you are feeling better and that your daughter avoids the lurgy, hun xxxx
Had a long, LONG day yesterday - really interesting and helpful, but was shattered and aching at the end of it. The journey to Manchester was hard going - an extremely chatty lady latched on to me on the platform (despite the fact that I had my head buried in a book), followed me on to the train, sat opposite me - and simply didn't shut up. I got her whole life story, her kids life stories, her pets life stories, her kids pets life stories - and a whole lot of other stuff too. One of the longest hours of my life - but bless her, she seemed to need to talk, and I couldn't be rude - even though my head was thumping by the time I reached my stop and could escape.
The next few hours were about going over a list of 'how do I do this or that or the other ?' as regards recording and admin, and that was followed by meeting up with a group of young disabled people for a couple of activities - including an evening 'Bat walk'. Which was fun, but left me aching as a walk around some rather rough paths proved difficult for some of the folks and I had to physically support one of them - couldn't be helped, and certainly wasn't expected, but I was so glad to finally get on the train (which of course was 15 minutes late!) and belt in some pain killers!
This morning - about to grab a shower, put in another 3 or 4 hours admin - then on to sorting out the move for Mil - going to be a long, long day again, I think.
Hope you guys all have a good day xxxx
Oh boy - lots to take in! Thank you for all the comments and info, guys - evry bit helps!
Lemony, there has never been any mention of a DOLs for Mil. There was definitely an assessment by a SW (and somewhere in my notes, I'm sure I have her name, though she was not the same SW as we are dealing with now) who was involved in the section 3, because she phoned me, and actually gave me quite a bit of info about how Mil was and how it was sadly very obvious that Mil had no capacity and that she was now letting us know that Mil had been placed under a section 3. The section 3 is also referred to in the copy of notes I have from the meeting where they told me catgorically that Mil would be funded under 117 because she had been placed under a section 3.
There's also the point that at the time the section 3 was placed on Mil, it was just a few days after the absolute farce when the previous consultant called OH in for a 'chat' and attempted to have Mil discharged the very next day - I'd just had that awful injection and was off my feet, Mil had spent more time on medical wards with a chest infection than she had actually spent on the EMH unit and we were concerned because it seemed that they actually hadn't done anything with her meds, and nor had they done a mobility assessment, never mind that to discharge her after a 'chat' didn't come anywhere near meeting their own procedures for a proper discharge. We had kicked up a tremendous fuss and I'd put in a formal complaint. I'm pretty certain that they would have crossed all the 'T's' and dot all the 'I's' for the section 3, as they were being scrutinised at the time - and the current SW hasn't said anything to indicate that they didn't. I would imagine that after the fuss raised last time, they would be rather wary of claiming that they have made another mistake at this point - they know damn well that I would jump on that. What the current SW is saying is that the meeting, several weeks later, where the new consultant told us that Mil didn't have LBD, that she definitely needed EMI nursing and was now ready for discharge did not meet the criteria for the correct discharge procedure. A SW should have been present, and should then have arranged a best interests meeting to confirm that the consultants recommendations were right for Mil (and this would have included another capacity test) and a DST meeting - because although this SW has said that Mil would be fully funded under 117, they also have a duty to see if she qualifies for CHC too - as the cash for that comes from a different 'pot'. ( One of the things that I need to check is that if she is awarded CHC, what happens regarding funding IF (when) they decide that she is no longer entitled to CHC - because that seems to be what generally happens, from what I've read on here.). So it seems the issues are yet again with the discharge procedure, but not the section 3. The SW is saying that the ward should have notified her that this meeting was taking place so she could have continued with the correct next steps - the only response I've had from the ward is that one nurse commented that the SW should have got 'off her backside and found out what was going on' with Mil and got all these things organised. I'm not interested with getting into a who's fault is it anyway-type row at this point - they can sort it out for themselves - just in making sure that things are now done correctly and that Mil's placement isn't put in jeopardy because of 'whoever' not following the correct procedure.
As I understand it, as JM says, once a section 3 has been put in place a DOL's is irrelevant and can't replace it.
Incidentally, the section 3 wasn't applied because of her aggression. The aggression has developed and become a bigger issue since then. The section 3 was applied because she lacked the capacity to understand and make informed choices regarding her own care and treatment, and it was needed to keep her in hospital and allow the doctors to change her meds and treatment without her consent - or at least, thats what I was told. That is not going to change, she is never going to get that capacity back - though I think Nitram, that if she does lose mobility and/or the aggression stops, if she no longer needs prn meds due to the dementia or other health conditions, that there could be an argument that she no longer needs EMI nursing care but I don't think that the could ever argue against the need for an EMI residential placement because of her mental state. So I think, from what you have posted and the circumstances under which the section 3 was appied, that 117 funding for some form of EMI residential care couldn't ever be completely withdrawn, though its possible that paying a top up or moving her to an EMI home could happen.
Of course, the powers that be have their own extremely creative approach to interpreting the legislation in order to save money - so no matter what any of us think, no matter the extent to which the law/rules would appear to be in Mil's favour as regards funding, I'm sure if they can they will find a way to avoid financing Mil. At this point, as I've said, the primary concern is that their incompetence so far doesn't cost her the placement at the home. I'll do what I can to make ensure that there is less likliehood of them being able to change the goalposts as regards funding, obviously - but getting her safe and settled is my main focus.
Amy, I have fingers and toes crossed that your meeting went well, with no nasty surprises or unexpected glitches to cause you more stress and worry - and yes please, do update us xxxx
JM - hope you are feeling better and that your daughter avoids the lurgy, hun xxxx
Had a long, LONG day yesterday - really interesting and helpful, but was shattered and aching at the end of it. The journey to Manchester was hard going - an extremely chatty lady latched on to me on the platform (despite the fact that I had my head buried in a book), followed me on to the train, sat opposite me - and simply didn't shut up. I got her whole life story, her kids life stories, her pets life stories, her kids pets life stories - and a whole lot of other stuff too. One of the longest hours of my life - but bless her, she seemed to need to talk, and I couldn't be rude - even though my head was thumping by the time I reached my stop and could escape.
The next few hours were about going over a list of 'how do I do this or that or the other ?' as regards recording and admin, and that was followed by meeting up with a group of young disabled people for a couple of activities - including an evening 'Bat walk'. Which was fun, but left me aching as a walk around some rather rough paths proved difficult for some of the folks and I had to physically support one of them - couldn't be helped, and certainly wasn't expected, but I was so glad to finally get on the train (which of course was 15 minutes late!) and belt in some pain killers!
This morning - about to grab a shower, put in another 3 or 4 hours admin - then on to sorting out the move for Mil - going to be a long, long day again, I think.
Hope you guys all have a good day xxxx
May I lighten the tone a little and tell you about my last 24 hours? Yesterday, my cleaner came. This morning, the bread was missing. Do I connect the two? Anyway, no toast this morning!
Gardener came this morning, he tops up my wood for wood burner ( aren't I lucky?) however, he put a load of seconds on top of the half bag of kindling ( no, kindling in the fire first!) then topped up basket indoors and buried the firefighters at the bottom! Honestly, where is the sense? And I didn't have a new pack of firelighters. ( iPad just corrected that to firefighters, now there's an idea! ).
So, any excuse for a free coffee, so zoomed into the supermarket. Put my card through machine to get a zap gun, talking to the guy behind. Turned away to put card away, then, no gun! Tried again, it said, seek assistance. OK, asked the girl on the desk, she said, its in your basket!!! I'm sure it wasn't there!
Solaced myself with free coffee and something sticky!
Plus, it's a wonderful day, blue sky, quite warm ( OK to sit in sun). I have managed to repot an ivy given to me last Christmas and put some bulbs in a couple of pots. Wow!! A good day, although the result is I can hardly walk! Oh well!
Hope you are all having a good day!
Gardener came this morning, he tops up my wood for wood burner ( aren't I lucky?) however, he put a load of seconds on top of the half bag of kindling ( no, kindling in the fire first!) then topped up basket indoors and buried the firefighters at the bottom! Honestly, where is the sense? And I didn't have a new pack of firelighters. ( iPad just corrected that to firefighters, now there's an idea! ).
So, any excuse for a free coffee, so zoomed into the supermarket. Put my card through machine to get a zap gun, talking to the guy behind. Turned away to put card away, then, no gun! Tried again, it said, seek assistance. OK, asked the girl on the desk, she said, its in your basket!!! I'm sure it wasn't there!
Solaced myself with free coffee and something sticky!
Plus, it's a wonderful day, blue sky, quite warm ( OK to sit in sun). I have managed to repot an ivy given to me last Christmas and put some bulbs in a couple of pots. Wow!! A good day, although the result is I can hardly walk! Oh well!
Hope you are all having a good day!
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Spamar - you have no idea how its cheered me up to hear that you are have had/are having such a good day - gives me hope!
Because its all gone pear shaped here again - I really need an emotican that combines sobbing with banging head on brick wall and throwing oneself off a cliff!
Just taken a call from junior consultant at hospital. They are refusing to allow Mil to leave tomorrow because at the moment - as junior put it - 'she is kicking off all the time and they would send her back within two days at the most - I can guarantee it' . I asked what she was doing - he repeated 'Kicking off - badly' (such an informative medical description - not!). So I asked would this cost her her place at the home? He didn't know. I asked for how long is she likely to have to remain - he didn't know that either, but there will be a review in 48 hours. Will the meetings go ahead tomorrow? Yes - the DST meeting could. What are they going to do to try to calm her? Stop the ab's and maybe look at medication (at which point I could have cried - please, not back on that merry-go-round!).
Phone call to the home, thinking that if we offer to pay for her place for the next week perhaps we can save it for her - all managers in meeting, waiting now for them to call me back.
Phone call to SW - not at her desk, waiting for her to call me back.
Have absolutely no idea what to do, where to turn to or what to say. I really can't believe this
Because its all gone pear shaped here again - I really need an emotican that combines sobbing with banging head on brick wall and throwing oneself off a cliff!
Just taken a call from junior consultant at hospital. They are refusing to allow Mil to leave tomorrow because at the moment - as junior put it - 'she is kicking off all the time and they would send her back within two days at the most - I can guarantee it' . I asked what she was doing - he repeated 'Kicking off - badly' (such an informative medical description - not!). So I asked would this cost her her place at the home? He didn't know. I asked for how long is she likely to have to remain - he didn't know that either, but there will be a review in 48 hours. Will the meetings go ahead tomorrow? Yes - the DST meeting could. What are they going to do to try to calm her? Stop the ab's and maybe look at medication (at which point I could have cried - please, not back on that merry-go-round!).
Phone call to the home, thinking that if we offer to pay for her place for the next week perhaps we can save it for her - all managers in meeting, waiting now for them to call me back.
Phone call to SW - not at her desk, waiting for her to call me back.
Have absolutely no idea what to do, where to turn to or what to say. I really can't believe this
Ann - sending massive hugs.
Very hard to do but please step back and realise that going to a home that couldn't cope is worse than staying where she is, and being back at square one. From what you have written she is as settled there as she will be in a home a lot of the time.
I was thinking of you today and hoping it would all go to plan. But better to go wrong before the move than after. As I'm typing this I know it is trite words that are unlikely to help you.
She is safe, she is fed, she is clean, she is warm and ultimately that is the best you can hope for at this point in her life. When my mum moved in to her flat this was what the care manager told me, and I didn't get it at the time, but with hindsight my mum hadn't been safe for a while.
Very hard to do but please step back and realise that going to a home that couldn't cope is worse than staying where she is, and being back at square one. From what you have written she is as settled there as she will be in a home a lot of the time.
I was thinking of you today and hoping it would all go to plan. But better to go wrong before the move than after. As I'm typing this I know it is trite words that are unlikely to help you.
She is safe, she is fed, she is clean, she is warm and ultimately that is the best you can hope for at this point in her life. When my mum moved in to her flat this was what the care manager told me, and I didn't get it at the time, but with hindsight my mum hadn't been safe for a while.
Ann, I really don't know what to say. I know you are doing everything possible to get a good placement for MIL and that you always, and have always, considered MIL's best interests.
This must have hit you like a huge punch in the gut.
I think your instinct to contact the home is a good one and keep ringing them until you get someone. Perhaps they can offer some information or a different perspective that will be helpful.
Otherwise, I'm sending many (((((hugs))))) and I'm so sorry it's all gotten fouled up again.
The meeting yesterday morning at the care home went very well, a lot to process but it was very positive. I'll tell you all about it in another post.
Please keep us updated when you can. Thinking of you.
This must have hit you like a huge punch in the gut.
I think your instinct to contact the home is a good one and keep ringing them until you get someone. Perhaps they can offer some information or a different perspective that will be helpful.
Otherwise, I'm sending many (((((hugs))))) and I'm so sorry it's all gotten fouled up again.
The meeting yesterday morning at the care home went very well, a lot to process but it was very positive. I'll tell you all about it in another post.
Please keep us updated when you can. Thinking of you.
