Spamar, I am so sorry to hear your news. Certainly I remember your stories about your friend. Please accept my condolences.
So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
Local authorities are ultimately responsible for S117 placements but the funding of them is split between the LA and health. I believe this is often subject to local agreements on how the split is determined.. In my area the CHC process is used to determine how much the Health authority pays towards the S117. I believe the Council pays the full fee and then recharges health for their share. This is not CHC even if the CHC process is used to determine the split, and can only be removed if all parties (bar the PWD/their representatives) agree. In the unlikely event of it ever being removed then you'd have to appeal.
Spamar - so sorry to hear your news. You will miss her. Sending big hugs.
Will try and catch up with some of what's been going on here, haven't' found the time or emotional energy to post a long detailed post.
Not sure if I mentioned dau got her place on the Welsh MTB prog, well today I had to pick her up from half term training camp, normally she gets the train (takes 2hours 40ish to Chester) but they wanted parents to go for a talk, all of 20 mins, journey down with half term traffic took 4 hours 15, about 3.5 coming back. It probably was worth it to catch up with coaches.
On way home got a call to say mum had been sick over her bed and carpet, they have cleaned up but think I need to go and give it another clean tomorrow. The on site carers will check on her through the night. There are no bugs going round where she lives they said, but she had been to a Halloween party and probably ate a lot of buffet, she behaved like that pre dementia so I'm hoping it is just over eating, of high fat and sweet foods.
Dau has done a couple of national level cyclocross races - Derby and Abergavenny, she was 13th at first one, and 9th at second, although she punctured, tyres are still rideable, so got to pits and on spare bike, and having been 7th, dropped to 11th worked back up to 9th. Really pleased for her as she can see and feel improvement. She is so much less tired than she has been for a long long time.
Sporting success for son as well, selected for cross country team, and came 3rd in District so goes through to county race in Jan.
And work should get a bit easier as I have an assistant starting next week - for 2 days a week (I work 3). I suspect we will still have too much work between us but at least the promised help had arrived.
Slugsta - sounds like you need to work out who to speak to at DC to get message across, as long as they will keep having her, and glad you are pushing SS for another assessment.
Amy - hope you are feeling better - so nice of that chap to give you the flowers. I've had more than one melt down in the last couple of years, over little things as it is the straw to break the camels back.
Grace - hope you aren't over doing that physio.
Evening everyone else.
I need to pack for a race for me, son and OH tomorrow, this race is always short of marshals so I've offered my services as well. Really feeling that 8 hours of driving.
Will try and catch up with some of what's been going on here, haven't' found the time or emotional energy to post a long detailed post.
Not sure if I mentioned dau got her place on the Welsh MTB prog, well today I had to pick her up from half term training camp, normally she gets the train (takes 2hours 40ish to Chester) but they wanted parents to go for a talk, all of 20 mins, journey down with half term traffic took 4 hours 15, about 3.5 coming back. It probably was worth it to catch up with coaches.
On way home got a call to say mum had been sick over her bed and carpet, they have cleaned up but think I need to go and give it another clean tomorrow. The on site carers will check on her through the night. There are no bugs going round where she lives they said, but she had been to a Halloween party and probably ate a lot of buffet, she behaved like that pre dementia so I'm hoping it is just over eating, of high fat and sweet foods.
Dau has done a couple of national level cyclocross races - Derby and Abergavenny, she was 13th at first one, and 9th at second, although she punctured, tyres are still rideable, so got to pits and on spare bike, and having been 7th, dropped to 11th worked back up to 9th. Really pleased for her as she can see and feel improvement. She is so much less tired than she has been for a long long time.
Sporting success for son as well, selected for cross country team, and came 3rd in District so goes through to county race in Jan.
And work should get a bit easier as I have an assistant starting next week - for 2 days a week (I work 3). I suspect we will still have too much work between us but at least the promised help had arrived.
Slugsta - sounds like you need to work out who to speak to at DC to get message across, as long as they will keep having her, and glad you are pushing SS for another assessment.
Amy - hope you are feeling better - so nice of that chap to give you the flowers. I've had more than one melt down in the last couple of years, over little things as it is the straw to break the camels back.
Grace - hope you aren't over doing that physio.
Evening everyone else.
I need to pack for a race for me, son and OH tomorrow, this race is always short of marshals so I've offered my services as well. Really feeling that 8 hours of driving.
Spamar, I am so sorry to read about your friend - so sad 
Sending you much love and sympathy {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
JM, I'm so pleased to hear of your dau's improvement - must be such a relief! And well done to your son too I hope that it does turn out to be a case of over-indulgence for your Mum too - with everything you have going on, the last thing you need is o deal with her being poorly - and I'm sure its the last thing she needs too!
Slugsta, I hear your frustration with the appalling communication issues re what your Mum needs for DC. Its another one of those 'as if the stress of caring isn't bad enough . . .' type scenario's that it seems are part and parcel of caring. Poor communication from outside agencies just makes everything far more difficult and frustrating
Lemony, I think because a section 3 is involved, although I guess that at some point that they will try and wriggle out of what they can, there actually isn't much a chance of that happening. It was just that I found myself being quite disgusted - the protestations that this DST should be done for 'Mil's sake' was a load of $%^*& - it was clearly all about if Mil doesn't pay, then lets have an argument about who does!
It only really sank in when I went over the notes after I last posted, just how crafty they can be with the use of what I call 'creative terminology' - if it had been noted that Mil required one to one support at times, then from what I could make out, her needs in the 'behaviour' criteria would have been 'Priority', rather than severe - 'priority' being 'worse' than severe. However, the nursing report - despite the fact that I've ben told several times, by several different staff, that Mil often has and needs one to one care - was marked at 'No' for 'one to one care required'. Instead it was noted that she is usually on '30 minute intervention observations', but at present that has been upped to '15 minute intervention obs'. Now, personally, I would say that if someone requires one member of staff attending to them exclusively for a varying amount of time every 15 minutes, then that is pretty much one to one - calling it 'intervention obs' is just a handy way of trying to minimise what it is!
Thanks for the info, allchange Its not the end of the world if they wriggle out of funding Mil - she has enough to pay for about 18 months of care, ateotd. Its more the principal of the whole thing - that they are making us jump through hoops whilst they squabble and try and pass the responsibility back and forth, whilst claiming that it's all being done for her benefit. I don't like the refusal to give us information either - well, not refusal really, but just never a completely straight answer to a straight question - getting clear info is like getting blood out of a stone - just makes me think, to use a favoured phrase that my son uses, that they are rather 'shady' in their behaviour
Got a phone call on Thursday evening to tell me that Mil had been in another altercation *sigh*! This time, however, the other person got the 'physical' in first, and Mil got a smack in the head . Thankfully, she is OK - not a hard 'smack' and she had forgotten it a few minutes later. Left with the impression that she was no innocent party, however, so can only assume that she was probably being provocative and/or pass remarkable again. Oldest and I visited her yesterday afternoon, and found her pretty chilled - staff said she had been 'better, but still a little agitated' over the previous 24 hours, which was good news. Usually, even when she doesn't quite remember who oldest is to her, Mil lights up like a Christmas tree when she see's her or our son. But not yesterday - she greeted daughter politely and fairly warmly - but not with the usual delight. To our amazement, she was tucking into tuna and mayo sandwiches - having always declared (pre-dementia) that she didn't like either of those components. However, she informed both dau and I that they were the nicest butties she had ever had! Can tastes really change that much as a result of dementia? The paranoia was still there - she pointed out one patient to dau, warning that they should be careful what they say as he can 'lip read' - he was quite a distance away, and dau tried to say that Nan mustn't worry, he was too far away to see what they were saying. Mil then went off into a confabulation about how the school had trained him to be a lip reader and that was his job so they had to be very careful. She then accused the poor chap - who is very unsteady on his feet - of 'chasing me all over the place' - daughter asked why he would chase Mil? Mil said she would wouldn't like to guess - but if he came near her she was going to "******* smack him one"! Daughter looked so shocked at the language, and even more so when Mil announced that there was no point reporting him because the bosses never do **** all about him! Swearing in temper and agitation is not unusual for Mil - but to 'eff and jeff' in a fairly calm conversation is, and both dau and I were quite taken aback!
I got the impression that oldest was quite shaken by the changes in Mil - its about 9 weeks since she last saw her, and she said that Mil had changed -'a lot' . I guess seeing her as often as we do, changes are not always apparent to us - but daughter felt that physically, she was very much frailer and that although we have said that she has deteriorated mentally, daughter seemed to think that it was a bigger change that she had been expecting
mad day today - have 7 of youngests mates coming round for a 'Pumpkin carving party' - all theatre school students, so Lord help me! Teens are quite dramatic enough, without having musical theatre training thrown in - I suspect its going to be a fairly long afternoon!
Hope you all have a good weekend, Spamar - sending you more {{{{{hugs}}}}} and wishing you strength xxxxx
Sending you much love and sympathy {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}JM, I'm so pleased to hear of your dau's improvement - must be such a relief! And well done to your son too
I hope that it does turn out to be a case of over-indulgence for your Mum too - with everything you have going on, the last thing you need is o deal with her being poorly - and I'm sure its the last thing she needs too!Slugsta, I hear your frustration with the appalling communication issues re what your Mum needs for DC. Its another one of those 'as if the stress of caring isn't bad enough . . .' type scenario's that it seems are part and parcel of caring. Poor communication from outside agencies just makes everything far more difficult and frustrating
Lemony, I think because a section 3 is involved, although I guess that at some point that they will try and wriggle out of what they can, there actually isn't much a chance of that happening. It was just that I found myself being quite disgusted - the protestations that this DST should be done for 'Mil's sake' was a load of $%^*& - it was clearly all about if Mil doesn't pay, then lets have an argument about who does!
It only really sank in when I went over the notes after I last posted, just how crafty they can be with the use of what I call 'creative terminology' - if it had been noted that Mil required one to one support at times, then from what I could make out, her needs in the 'behaviour' criteria would have been 'Priority', rather than severe - 'priority' being 'worse' than severe. However, the nursing report - despite the fact that I've ben told several times, by several different staff, that Mil often has and needs one to one care - was marked at 'No' for 'one to one care required'. Instead it was noted that she is usually on '30 minute intervention observations', but at present that has been upped to '15 minute intervention obs'. Now, personally, I would say that if someone requires one member of staff attending to them exclusively for a varying amount of time every 15 minutes, then that is pretty much one to one - calling it 'intervention obs' is just a handy way of trying to minimise what it is!
Thanks for the info, allchange
Its not the end of the world if they wriggle out of funding Mil - she has enough to pay for about 18 months of care, ateotd. Its more the principal of the whole thing - that they are making us jump through hoops whilst they squabble and try and pass the responsibility back and forth, whilst claiming that it's all being done for her benefit. I don't like the refusal to give us information either - well, not refusal really, but just never a completely straight answer to a straight question - getting clear info is like getting blood out of a stone - just makes me think, to use a favoured phrase that my son uses, that they are rather 'shady' in their behaviour Got a phone call on Thursday evening to tell me that Mil had been in another altercation *sigh*! This time, however, the other person got the 'physical' in first, and Mil got a smack in the head
. Thankfully, she is OK - not a hard 'smack' and she had forgotten it a few minutes later. Left with the impression that she was no innocent party, however, so can only assume that she was probably being provocative and/or pass remarkable again. Oldest and I visited her yesterday afternoon, and found her pretty chilled - staff said she had been 'better, but still a little agitated' over the previous 24 hours, which was good news. Usually, even when she doesn't quite remember who oldest is to her, Mil lights up like a Christmas tree when she see's her or our son. But not yesterday - she greeted daughter politely and fairly warmly - but not with the usual delight. To our amazement, she was tucking into tuna and mayo sandwiches - having always declared (pre-dementia) that she didn't like either of those components. However, she informed both dau and I that they were the nicest butties she had ever had! Can tastes really change that much as a result of dementia? The paranoia was still there - she pointed out one patient to dau, warning that they should be careful what they say as he can 'lip read' - he was quite a distance away, and dau tried to say that Nan mustn't worry, he was too far away to see what they were saying. Mil then went off into a confabulation about how the school had trained him to be a lip reader and that was his job so they had to be very careful. She then accused the poor chap - who is very unsteady on his feet - of 'chasing me all over the place' - daughter asked why he would chase Mil? Mil said she would wouldn't like to guess - but if he came near her she was going to "******* smack him one"! Daughter looked so shocked at the language, and even more so when Mil announced that there was no point reporting him because the bosses never do **** all about him! Swearing in temper and agitation is not unusual for Mil - but to 'eff and jeff' in a fairly calm conversation is, and both dau and I were quite taken aback!I got the impression that oldest was quite shaken by the changes in Mil - its about 9 weeks since she last saw her, and she said that Mil had changed -'a lot' . I guess seeing her as often as we do, changes are not always apparent to us - but daughter felt that physically, she was very much frailer and that although we have said that she has deteriorated mentally, daughter seemed to think that it was a bigger change that she had been expecting
mad day today - have 7 of youngests mates coming round for a 'Pumpkin carving party' - all theatre school students, so Lord help me! Teens are quite dramatic enough, without having musical theatre training thrown in - I suspect its going to be a fairly long afternoon!
Hope you all have a good weekend, Spamar - sending you more {{{{{hugs}}}}} and wishing you strength xxxxx
Afternoon all,
(((Spamar))) you are in my thoughts.
(((JM))) it sounds as if, with one thing and another, you have little energy to spare at the moment. It's very good to hear that your daughter is so much better. I send my congratulations to both your daughter and son for their sporting prowess
Amy and Grace, you are in my thoughts too. I do hope your absence is down to you spending time doing things for you, rather than for others.
(((Ann))) I think it must have been very upsetting to realise that the purpose of the meeting was for everyone to try and wriggle out of paying for MIL's continuing care! I'm sorry that she has deteriorated so much, in various ways. When we see someone frequently we tend to adapt to gradual changes. When someone, like your daughter, comes in after a period of time, it is easier for them to see the extent of the downturn
We viewed a flat in our 'preferred' location this morning. What a pity that the details didn't mention that it is actually a basement flat, rather than a true ground floor. There were steep steps down to the front door, which made it a no-no for us right from the start. The rooms were lovely and big but the large bay window in the lounge looks out onto the brick retaining wall of the garden above. There was also quite a lot of damp. So, all in all, that one was not right for us! We have put a low offer in for the other one and are waiting for a reply. We can go up a little but cannot reach the asking price. However, our buyers have nothing to sell and we don't need a mortgage, so we are in a good position for a prompt completion . . .
When we got home Alf and Sky were both asleep on our bed. That was good to see as Sky has been chasing Alf off recently. Poor lad, he doesn't turn and fight his corner, just slinks away I will do my best to make sure he doesn't get pushed out.
It is grey and damp here, but still quite mild. I'm told that a cold snap is coming, I hope that means a return of the sun!
Hoping that you are all able to enjoy the weekend xxx
(((Spamar))) you are in my thoughts.
(((JM))) it sounds as if, with one thing and another, you have little energy to spare at the moment. It's very good to hear that your daughter is so much better. I send my congratulations to both your daughter and son for their sporting prowess
Amy and Grace, you are in my thoughts too. I do hope your absence is down to you spending time doing things for you, rather than for others.
(((Ann))) I think it must have been very upsetting to realise that the purpose of the meeting was for everyone to try and wriggle out of paying for MIL's continuing care! I'm sorry that she has deteriorated so much, in various ways. When we see someone frequently we tend to adapt to gradual changes. When someone, like your daughter, comes in after a period of time, it is easier for them to see the extent of the downturn
We viewed a flat in our 'preferred' location this morning. What a pity that the details didn't mention that it is actually a basement flat, rather than a true ground floor. There were steep steps down to the front door, which made it a no-no for us right from the start. The rooms were lovely and big but the large bay window in the lounge looks out onto the brick retaining wall of the garden above. There was also quite a lot of damp. So, all in all, that one was not right for us! We have put a low offer in for the other one and are waiting for a reply. We can go up a little but cannot reach the asking price. However, our buyers have nothing to sell and we don't need a mortgage, so we are in a good position for a prompt completion . . .
When we got home Alf and Sky were both asleep on our bed. That was good to see as Sky has been chasing Alf off recently. Poor lad, he doesn't turn and fight his corner, just slinks away
I will do my best to make sure he doesn't get pushed out.It is grey and damp here, but still quite mild. I'm told that a cold snap is coming, I hope that means a return of the sun!
Hoping that you are all able to enjoy the weekend xxx
Our offer has been accepted! Well TBH, not the low offer, nor the next one. We are actually £5000 over our maximum budget, so our savings will take a hit. However, it is too small an amount to lose the flat over so it is the right thing to do. After 28 years in the same place, I can't actually believe it is going to happen. Now the real work will start . . .
Fab - lots of packing clearing out etc, but all sounds good.
I had a silly fall off my bike today, can't walk properly, it was before the race, so didn't even get to race, painkillers are taking the edge off the pain, but hurts from inside knee to inside buttock - hopefully will be better in the morning.
I had a silly fall off my bike today, can't walk properly, it was before the race, so didn't even get to race, painkillers are taking the edge off the pain, but hurts from inside knee to inside buttock - hopefully will be better in the morning.
Groin - ouch JM
Told you before. Anyone doing anything with bikes are nutters
Hoping it's only hurting for a short while and all will be in full working order tomorrow xxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Told you before. Anyone doing anything with bikes are nutters
Hoping it's only hurting for a short while and all will be in full working order tomorrow xxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
What do men know of ladies ouchy bits xxxx
Hoping it's better than it was and if it is, white lies to say it isn't, so you get out of chores would be my game plan
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
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Morning all,
Yay - glad you have found somewhere, Slugsta, even if it is a tad more expensive, if its the right place for you, it will be worth it Will keep everything crossed for a smooth and stress free move for you, your OH - and the cats xxxx
Ouch JM - if not completely better, hope you are in a lot less pain today xxx
Talking of pain - have any of you guys who suffer from hip/back/knee pain heard of, or tried, ActiPatch? OH had read some really good reviews about it, so we sent for the weeks' trial pack . . . its been two days, and the pain in my hip is definitely much better - to the extent that yesterday I only took two painkillers (and they were for my back, not because of my hip!). Its an odd looking thing, a loop of wire with a small, flat power pack, that you stick over the painful area with plasters/tape - and you just leave it on (apart from when you're bathing, of course). I'm going to try and find out if its possible to use two of the patches at one time, so I can try one on the most painful area of my back as well as on my hip . Worth looking into, if you suffer from chronic pain xxxx
Didn't visit Mil yesterday, as dau had her friends round for the pumpkin carving - not just a total of 8 typicallly loud teens, a but 8 'all singing, all dancing', typically loud teens They really enjoyed themselves, and the end results were two nicely carved pumpkins . . . and two that were only fit for the bin Daughter had saved pocket money to buy snacks, and I waded in with a cake, sausage rolls, pizza, garlic bread and a carved 'Melon Brain' (dead easy to make, but it so impressed the girls, lol!), so everyone was well fed, and to be fair to dau, she got stuck in to cleaning up when they were gone. Its the first time in a long time that she has had a whole bunch of friends round - it was impossible to do when Mil lived here - I couldn't help thinking that it was just really nice for her to be able to do something so normal and fun.
Today, I'm going to finish sorting things to take to the home for Mil, and once I've phoned to check that there have been no more issues and checked the liklihood of her being allowed to leave the ward on either Tues or Wednesday, OH and I are going to go and try and make her room cosy for her. Its actually quite difficult to select knick-knacks and bits that will be suitable Her heavy brasses are out - in case she throws them. There are porceline figures, 2 large ones. that were a gift to her when her Mum in law passed away - on the one hand, Mil always loved them - on the other, I don't know if they have any value and if they were thrown, I would imagine that if they hit anyone they would do some damage. At the moment they are in the 'not going' pile - but I'm swithering, because I know how much Mil loved them. I've selected several photographs, and bought light plastic frames to replace the heavy wooden ones that they were in - hoping that will make them less prone to damage and less likely to injure if thrown, and I've scanned the actual photographs so they can be replaced if needed. The vases, the glass dressing table set, her collection of decorative plates, several quite heavy jewellery boxes . . . none would be a good idea to take, I don't think I've filled one small, light jewellery box with some costume jewellery and some of Mil's rosary beads and have a couple of small 'seaside souvenir' type bits she used to keep on display. And there are a few small teddies/soft toys. But it seems so little to represent her life. We have said that once we see the decor of the room she is in (it won't be the first one we looked at, I don't think) we will go and buy a throw and some matching cushions. We have - at the moment - decided against a TV in her room. On the pro side for her having one, is the fact that if we also sent a DVD player, then sometimes old musicals, Disney Films, Mrs Browns Boys or box sets of old comedy's can keep her occupied and calm - but only sometimes. On the 'con' side, here, she constantly played with the remote, changing channels and settings and wanted it 'fixing' straight way - and this could happen several times an hour, as could her losing the remote. She could also inadvertantly flick to something that would fuel a bad delusion and cause her upset. We had several instances of her turning the TV on in the middle of the night, full blast, and waking us all. And - I don't know if I've mentioned this - a trick she developed several years ago - taking the back off a remote control, and peeling the plastic protective cover off the batteries, before putting them back. Apparently a big fire risk. We talked about asking the home to take charge of the remote, so the staff could just put the TV on for her when she wanted - but that's what we did here and we had several bad strops when she wanted us to hand over the remote. So, for the moment, no TV - but we'll see how it goes and review based on what the staff want to try.
Either before or after dropping her things off, we'll visit Mil and see how she is. OH has (thank goodness) booked next week as a holiday - sheer chance, being pressured to sort out leave, he just picked a random week, and now it looks like its turned out to be at just the right time. I am going to try and stick to Friday as my day off next week, I don't want to have to keep chopping and changing my working days as its making planning meetings and so on difficult, and hopefully, with OH being off, I'll be able to stick to that. we now just have to hope that its 3rd time lucky, and we can get her moved and settled.
Hope you all have a good day. Spamar, I have been thinking of you - I hope you are OK xxxxxxx
Yay - glad you have found somewhere, Slugsta, even if it is a tad more expensive, if its the right place for you, it will be worth it
Will keep everything crossed for a smooth and stress free move for you, your OH - and the cats xxxxOuch JM - if not completely better, hope you are in a lot less pain today xxx
Talking of pain - have any of you guys who suffer from hip/back/knee pain heard of, or tried, ActiPatch? OH had read some really good reviews about it, so we sent for the weeks' trial pack . . . its been two days, and the pain in my hip is definitely much better - to the extent that yesterday I only took two painkillers (and they were for my back, not because of my hip!). Its an odd looking thing, a loop of wire with a small, flat power pack, that you stick over the painful area with plasters/tape - and you just leave it on (apart from when you're bathing, of course
). I'm going to try and find out if its possible to use two of the patches at one time, so I can try one on the most painful area of my back as well as on my hip . Worth looking into, if you suffer from chronic pain xxxxDidn't visit Mil yesterday, as dau had her friends round for the pumpkin carving - not just a total of 8 typicallly loud teens, a but 8 'all singing, all dancing', typically loud teens
They really enjoyed themselves, and the end results were two nicely carved pumpkins . . . and two that were only fit for the bin Daughter had saved pocket money to buy snacks, and I waded in with a cake, sausage rolls, pizza, garlic bread and a carved 'Melon Brain' (dead easy to make, but it so impressed the girls, lol!), so everyone was well fed, and to be fair to dau, she got stuck in to cleaning up when they were gone. Its the first time in a long time that she has had a whole bunch of friends round - it was impossible to do when Mil lived here - I couldn't help thinking that it was just really nice for her to be able to do something so normal and fun.Today, I'm going to finish sorting things to take to the home for Mil, and once I've phoned to check that there have been no more issues and checked the liklihood of her being allowed to leave the ward on either Tues or Wednesday, OH and I are going to go and try and make her room cosy for her. Its actually quite difficult to select knick-knacks and bits that will be suitable
Her heavy brasses are out - in case she throws them. There are porceline figures, 2 large ones. that were a gift to her when her Mum in law passed away - on the one hand, Mil always loved them - on the other, I don't know if they have any value and if they were thrown, I would imagine that if they hit anyone they would do some damage. At the moment they are in the 'not going' pile - but I'm swithering, because I know how much Mil loved them. I've selected several photographs, and bought light plastic frames to replace the heavy wooden ones that they were in - hoping that will make them less prone to damage and less likely to injure if thrown, and I've scanned the actual photographs so they can be replaced if needed. The vases, the glass dressing table set, her collection of decorative plates, several quite heavy jewellery boxes . . . none would be a good idea to take, I don't think I've filled one small, light jewellery box with some costume jewellery and some of Mil's rosary beads and have a couple of small 'seaside souvenir' type bits she used to keep on display. And there are a few small teddies/soft toys. But it seems so little to represent her life. We have said that once we see the decor of the room she is in (it won't be the first one we looked at, I don't think) we will go and buy a throw and some matching cushions. We have - at the moment - decided against a TV in her room. On the pro side for her having one, is the fact that if we also sent a DVD player, then sometimes old musicals, Disney Films, Mrs Browns Boys or box sets of old comedy's can keep her occupied and calm - but only sometimes. On the 'con' side, here, she constantly played with the remote, changing channels and settings and wanted it 'fixing' straight way - and this could happen several times an hour, as could her losing the remote. She could also inadvertantly flick to something that would fuel a bad delusion and cause her upset. We had several instances of her turning the TV on in the middle of the night, full blast, and waking us all. And - I don't know if I've mentioned this - a trick she developed several years ago - taking the back off a remote control, and peeling the plastic protective cover off the batteries, before putting them back. Apparently a big fire risk. We talked about asking the home to take charge of the remote, so the staff could just put the TV on for her when she wanted - but that's what we did here and we had several bad strops when she wanted us to hand over the remote. So, for the moment, no TV - but we'll see how it goes and review based on what the staff want to try.Either before or after dropping her things off, we'll visit Mil and see how she is. OH has (thank goodness) booked next week as a holiday - sheer chance, being pressured to sort out leave, he just picked a random week, and now it looks like its turned out to be at just the right time. I am going to try and stick to Friday as my day off next week, I don't want to have to keep chopping and changing my working days as its making planning meetings and so on difficult, and hopefully, with OH being off, I'll be able to stick to that. we now just have to hope that its 3rd time lucky, and we can get her moved and settled.
Hope you all have a good day. Spamar, I have been thinking of you - I hope you are OK xxxxxxx
JM, sorry to hear about your tumble and your ouchy bits (I am reminded of the line from Matilda about an "ouchy front bottom"). Hoping you feel better soon. Very glad to hear your daughter has been feeling better and hope that continues.
Grace, hope you're well, that the knee and PT are coming along, and that you're not overdoing the physical recovery and staying well away from the outlaws, for your mental recovery.
Slugsta, that was quick! I am sure you will be stuck in with clearing and packing and moving but we'd love to hear more about the new place, and how it all goes, when you get a chance.
Spamar, you and your friend are in my thoughts.
Ann, I can't comment on any of the paperwork/financing bits, but your meeting sounds grueling and a good way to frustrate everyone. I am sending very good thoughts for MIL to recover from the ?pneumonia (how can they not mention that?) and to get this move accomplished.
I hear you on agonizing about what to move and how to arrange it. I wish I had some better suggestions regarding the knick-knacks and bits. All I can think of is some sort of display cabinet that would be inaccessible to her, but surely that would mean glass and that's not a good idea to hang on her wall, either. Could there be a Plexiglass version? Another thought is to use that museum glue, that galleries and museums use, to secure valuable fragile items, and glue them down, but that also seems silly when I say it out loud. You couldn't do photos of her favorite items in a collage frame or little book, maybe? I don't know that she would even recognise them, but I'm running out of ideas. Such a pity all her favourites are either so fragile or serious potential missiles.
I also often look at my mother's room, especially this newer, smaller one, and think it's so little to represent a life. It's very hard.
The pumpkin carving sounds great fun (better with earplugs or a little hearing loss, maybe) and, yes, a nice normal thing for your daughter to do. I will go have a Google on the "melon brain" you mentioned.
OH has been uncharacteristically busy at work. One of his team members, C, was out all week as his father died (very sad, C has had other family illnesses and deaths this year and it's just heartbreaking), there is some big project that my husband is responsible for, and between being down one team member, and some other people not getting their work done on time, everything went south. He had to work late most nights this week and work from home part of yesterday and will work all day today as well. So that's never fun, and I don't mind as it happens so seldom, but OH is still recovering from the death of his father this summer. His dad's birthday was this week and OH is just sort of...touchy and remote, and the work situation helps not a jot.
We have managed some fun things. There was a Halloween party last night (costumes mandatory and that is not my thing, nor was the Pictionary type drawing game at which I disgraced myself badly), and we went to see one of the honorary nieces' marching band competition (great because of the unseasonably warm weather and the contest running on time). I also took myself off to the apple orchard on Friday to pick apples. We have different varieties here than you, of course, but for those who are curious it's the end of the apple season here where I live, or getting to it, and I picked a lot of Goldrush (which are not beautiful but are tasty and good keepers and good all-purpose apples, nice and crunchy and hold their shape when cooked) and some Winesaps (better for cooking). They also had some heirloom squash varieties at their farm stand that I've read about, but not seen, so of course I came home with a bunch. And now need to cook them!
I forced myself to go to a support group meeting this week. If my notes are correct, I haven't been since March, since my father-in-law was diagnosed with the cancer. It was a good idea and I will try to get back there more often as it really is worthwhile and likely good for me. That's not exactly "fun" but seemed worth mentioning.
My sister-in-law who had the bike accident and broke both her wrists, is doing better. She did have to have surgery, on both wrists, but it went well, she had her casts off last week, and is beginning physical therapy. She still has braces to wear and not a lot of strength in either hand but is sounding more cheerful and is starting to be able to do more for herself.
Sending all possible good wishes to you all.
Grace, hope you're well, that the knee and PT are coming along, and that you're not overdoing the physical recovery and staying well away from the outlaws, for your mental recovery.
Slugsta, that was quick! I am sure you will be stuck in with clearing and packing and moving but we'd love to hear more about the new place, and how it all goes, when you get a chance.
Spamar, you and your friend are in my thoughts.
Ann, I can't comment on any of the paperwork/financing bits, but your meeting sounds grueling and a good way to frustrate everyone. I am sending very good thoughts for MIL to recover from the ?pneumonia (how can they not mention that?) and to get this move accomplished.
I hear you on agonizing about what to move and how to arrange it. I wish I had some better suggestions regarding the knick-knacks and bits. All I can think of is some sort of display cabinet that would be inaccessible to her, but surely that would mean glass and that's not a good idea to hang on her wall, either. Could there be a Plexiglass version? Another thought is to use that museum glue, that galleries and museums use, to secure valuable fragile items, and glue them down, but that also seems silly when I say it out loud. You couldn't do photos of her favorite items in a collage frame or little book, maybe? I don't know that she would even recognise them, but I'm running out of ideas. Such a pity all her favourites are either so fragile or serious potential missiles.
I also often look at my mother's room, especially this newer, smaller one, and think it's so little to represent a life. It's very hard.
The pumpkin carving sounds great fun (better with earplugs or a little hearing loss, maybe) and, yes, a nice normal thing for your daughter to do. I will go have a Google on the "melon brain" you mentioned.
OH has been uncharacteristically busy at work. One of his team members, C, was out all week as his father died (very sad, C has had other family illnesses and deaths this year and it's just heartbreaking), there is some big project that my husband is responsible for, and between being down one team member, and some other people not getting their work done on time, everything went south. He had to work late most nights this week and work from home part of yesterday and will work all day today as well. So that's never fun, and I don't mind as it happens so seldom, but OH is still recovering from the death of his father this summer. His dad's birthday was this week and OH is just sort of...touchy and remote, and the work situation helps not a jot.
We have managed some fun things. There was a Halloween party last night (costumes mandatory and that is not my thing, nor was the Pictionary type drawing game at which I disgraced myself badly), and we went to see one of the honorary nieces' marching band competition (great because of the unseasonably warm weather and the contest running on time). I also took myself off to the apple orchard on Friday to pick apples. We have different varieties here than you, of course, but for those who are curious it's the end of the apple season here where I live, or getting to it, and I picked a lot of Goldrush (which are not beautiful but are tasty and good keepers and good all-purpose apples, nice and crunchy and hold their shape when cooked) and some Winesaps (better for cooking). They also had some heirloom squash varieties at their farm stand that I've read about, but not seen, so of course I came home with a bunch. And now need to cook them!
I forced myself to go to a support group meeting this week. If my notes are correct, I haven't been since March, since my father-in-law was diagnosed with the cancer. It was a good idea and I will try to get back there more often as it really is worthwhile and likely good for me. That's not exactly "fun" but seemed worth mentioning.
My sister-in-law who had the bike accident and broke both her wrists, is doing better. She did have to have surgery, on both wrists, but it went well, she had her casts off last week, and is beginning physical therapy. She still has braces to wear and not a lot of strength in either hand but is sounding more cheerful and is starting to be able to do more for herself.
Sending all possible good wishes to you all.
Afternoon all,
(((JM))) ouchy! I do hope you have not done any serious damage.
Amy, I'm glad that you found the support group helpful. As you say, not exactly fun but probably very good for your mental wellbeing. Glad that you also had fun at the marching band competition.
Sorry to hear that your hubby is having a tough time. The combination of added stress at work and his late father's birthday sounds particularly hard for him.
Very glad that your SIL is doing well. I suspect the fact that she is able to do more for herself is having a very good effect on her state of mind
Spamar, you are in my thoughts.
Ann, what a dilemma about MIL's belongings. What a pity she didn't collect cuddly toys or cushions rather than things that could break or do damage if thrown! I have everything possible crossed that the move will be accomplished as planned and that everything will go smoothly.
How lovely that your daughter was able to have friends over, that kind of thing can be so important to them. I must confess that I was never good at having a houseful of kids, I'm sure my son missed out at times
Some time ago I was able to test run the ActiPatch things. I'm afraid they didn't help my pain at all, but I know some people did very well with them. I'm glad that you are finding them helpful
It's so long since we last moved house, many of the practicalities are rather a blur.I guess our next steps should be to tell our conveyancers we have found something we like and also get a survey arranged? We are lucky in that we don't need a mortgage.
This is a link to the flat
http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42559764.html
We will need to declutter on a large scale. We started today with the cupboard under the stairs - and there are things in the garage that I'm sure we brought with us when we moved here and have never unpacked!
(((JM))) ouchy! I do hope you have not done any serious damage.
Amy, I'm glad that you found the support group helpful. As you say, not exactly fun but probably very good for your mental wellbeing. Glad that you also had fun at the marching band competition.
Sorry to hear that your hubby is having a tough time. The combination of added stress at work and his late father's birthday sounds particularly hard for him.
Very glad that your SIL is doing well. I suspect the fact that she is able to do more for herself is having a very good effect on her state of mind
Spamar, you are in my thoughts.
Ann, what a dilemma about MIL's belongings. What a pity she didn't collect cuddly toys or cushions rather than things that could break or do damage if thrown! I have everything possible crossed that the move will be accomplished as planned and that everything will go smoothly.
How lovely that your daughter was able to have friends over, that kind of thing can be so important to them. I must confess that I was never good at having a houseful of kids, I'm sure my son missed out at times
Some time ago I was able to test run the ActiPatch things. I'm afraid they didn't help my pain at all, but I know some people did very well with them. I'm glad that you are finding them helpful
It's so long since we last moved house, many of the practicalities are rather a blur.I guess our next steps should be to tell our conveyancers we have found something we like and also get a survey arranged? We are lucky in that we don't need a mortgage.
This is a link to the flat
http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42559764.html
We will need to declutter on a large scale. We started today with the cupboard under the stairs - and there are things in the garage that I'm sure we brought with us when we moved here and have never unpacked!
Like that, Slugsta! Hope you will be happy there. Would nearly suit me - just enlarge the ensuite a little! Pity you are not closer! I'm actually starting to get rid of things now. I am all too aware that this place is too big for me! Plus lots of knick knacks, big garage, OHs workshop, my books, etc etc.
Not tried, or even heard of, ActiPatch, Ann. Sorry.
Last week I went to have my eyes tested. I have been getting a lot of blurring late in the day, depending on how much close work I have done that day. It is probably a combination of varifocals, only one good eye, and getting old (muscles don't work so well), and my glasses being a bit lop sided! Having corrected the lopsided glasses, I would say that things are a little better, but not fully better. I can either have a pair of reading , which I've had before ( found them the other day, but now, when I want to try, where are they??) and/or get sussed out by hospital consultants.
Don't know what I'll do, tbh.
Books....got about three that I've started, all different print sizes! Then got seduced by a book list and ordered a lot more. At my speed of reading these days ( used to be 3/4 a week, every week) they'll last till next Christmas! Have managed the two smallest over the weekend. One was little more than a plant list, an interesting plant list though, and the other a series of short articles, mostly funny!
All the rest except one are natural history of one type or another! Silly, really, the nearest I get to it nowadays is watching the birds in the garden!
Have a good evening, everybody!
Grace, hope things are gong OK
Not tried, or even heard of, ActiPatch, Ann. Sorry.
Last week I went to have my eyes tested. I have been getting a lot of blurring late in the day, depending on how much close work I have done that day. It is probably a combination of varifocals, only one good eye, and getting old (muscles don't work so well), and my glasses being a bit lop sided! Having corrected the lopsided glasses, I would say that things are a little better, but not fully better. I can either have a pair of reading , which I've had before ( found them the other day, but now, when I want to try, where are they??) and/or get sussed out by hospital consultants.
Don't know what I'll do, tbh.
Books....got about three that I've started, all different print sizes! Then got seduced by a book list and ordered a lot more. At my speed of reading these days ( used to be 3/4 a week, every week) they'll last till next Christmas! Have managed the two smallest over the weekend. One was little more than a plant list, an interesting plant list though, and the other a series of short articles, mostly funny!
All the rest except one are natural history of one type or another! Silly, really, the nearest I get to it nowadays is watching the birds in the garden!
Have a good evening, everybody!
Grace, hope things are gong OK
