So bizarre !

[Ann Mac]

Thanks Celia and Red xxxx

Been a fairly long morning, but she has gone - not happily, but I honestly don't think that there is anything that I could have said or done differently that would have changed that Whilst I was getting Mil up, still with her being very 'off' with me, she commented on me coughing and sniffling and said I should go to the Doc's - before she ended up ill too!. I ran with that comment and explained that I'd been, and that the GP had said I was to rest and take things easy, and because I was worried that it meant that I wouldn't be able to 'take care' of her the way she 'deserves' and because we were worried about her catching the 'flu', that instead, OH and I had arranged a little break for her, at DC (which is where she will be staying, rather than the usual respite home) so that she could realx and that I could get well without worrying about her getting poorly too. Her initial response was that I could just 'cancel it' - she couldn't afford it (I told her we would pay!) and anyway - HER husband would look after her. I didn't argue with the husband bit, just told her that OH was working for the next few days and couldn't look after her. She told me she could look after herself - I said that I knew that, but that the biggest worry was her getting poorly too.

She wasn't happy but didn't seem to know what to say in response. When she came down, she tried telling OH that she couldn't afford to go, but he told her again that we would pay. She then announced that OK, she would go - but not till Wednesday. OH told her it had been sorted for today. we kept at it from the point of it all being about keeping her healthy and well, about it all being for her benefit which seemed to stop her being able to really kick off.

After OH left, I had 'coat loop' and her continually insisting that she wouldn't get ill, that she had already had the flu, that she couldn't afford to go, etc, etc - just gritted my teeth and sighed with relief when the mini bus turned up.

Phoned CPN to find out that she is also off today, so I've had to ask for the 'on call' staff to sort out permission for them to give the prn diaz as a regular dose - now stuck waiting by the phone for confirmation that it can be done! Is there some law, some bit of legislation, that states that when it comes to anything demenita related, that absolutely nothing can be organised without a load of hassel and what feels like unecessary palava? Just hoping that they ring and that its sorted soon - then I'll really feel like I can relax.

Signing out now and hopefully, while I'm away, everything goes smoothly for all the bizarrites and the rest of the TPer's.

Take care, everyone xxxx

 

[2jays]

Big blanket hug to you Ann

No more sorting for others, just sort for you xxxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[jugglingmum]

Ann - It sounds like you needed this respite desperately. Please think about booking the respite for every six weeks or so. This is half term so can you book Easter, and May helf term now?

Hope you have a good week and that you are well enough to manage to do some nice half term stuff. I Mmy even walk past you unknowingly at Chester Zoo - I never cancelled annual membership when I meant to and less than 10 mins from here so going with son, probably this afternoon.

Re amdram stuff for son, I know of 2 musical theatre groups in Chester - but whilst he acted well, I can't imagine him enjoying musical theatre. Girl across the road did Joseph at Llandudno and Stoke for several years and is now doing musical theatre related A levels (which involves a hell of a lot of travelling every day to get to the specialist college which offers them)

Grace - hope you can keep standing up to SIL, and that neice can as well. You need to look after yourself and enjoy life a bit.

Redlou - I'm rubbish at resting properly. Went on bike on Sat, was a bit of a struggle, a very slow 18 miles (normally do about 50) and wasn't great yestersday.

Essie - glad your migraine is better. I do get them occasionally but normally short lived and don't interfere with life too much. As I am late 40s I may grow out of the trigger soon.

Chaos here over the weekend. New bathroom being done, and whilst floor up all of kitchen was rewired over the weekend. This necessitated all of kitchen dust covered as channels cut out with an angle grinder. Floor up in spare bedroom and landing and a bit of son's room, new bath out of bathroom and in bit of landing where floor wasn't up. 4 bikes stored in spare room had to go into son's room etc. Couldn't run washing machine when I needed on Sat, dau needed loads of cycling kit for training camp today etc. Only in work one day this week as half term and taking some of the time from Nov/Dec.

 

[Essie]

Signing out now

In the nicest possible way I am so pleased to read this!! Have a wonderful Mon-Fri break Ann, rest, recuperate and enjoy family time as much as is possible without overdoing it.

Although what we're going to do without you I don't know.............. ........Anyone got some cards......? Monopoly..........?


Thanks JM, I seem to have grown into it as I've got older which is a bloomin' nuisance!

 

[Delphie]

Delphie, Mil generally confabulates her way through her visit to her friend. Shirl - the friend - cared for her own Mum with Parkinsons and dementia for many years, so she is quite clued up, not at all upset by Mil's rambling, and very aware about the paranoid/accusatory comments that can appear. Shirl is one heck of a forceful character actually - at 80, she stands just under 5 feet tall, her hair is still dyed jet black and usually tightly permed, blue eyeshadow and black eyeliner are applied daily, she is famed for her pie making (has a list of 'regulars' she bakes for) and takes no nonsense, despite having a heart of gold. So when Mil says anything verging on paranoid or accusatory, Shirl gives a firm instruction to 'stop talking rubbish' and then turns it into a joke - so far, Mil has always accepted this, she will often believe Shirl when she won't believe us! The visits are as much for Shirl as they are for Mil to be honest, because those two have been close for over 45 years - Shirl likes to see Mil, she misses her. And I'm pretty sure that after each visit, Shirl will then update the rest of Mils old friends and neighbours on how she is, because obviously we can't trawl round visiting them all and many can't get to visit Mil (though Shirl often invites the odd one to come and have a cuppa when Mil is visiting) and - typical Shirl - see's this as something useful she can do, let people know how Mil is and then pass on their good wishes to Mil on the next visit. Lord knows, Shirl likes to be useful - the woman never stops! Mil seems to sort of enjoy herself, though increasingly, she is very confused throughout the hour or so we are there. I don't honestly know if she would realise if we stopped going - but we don't know for sure, and Shirl wants to see her, so for as long as its possible, we'll keep the visits going.

Shirl sounds amazing.

It's interesting, MiL's behaviour, and sort of confirms what you've said before I think, that she's able to control it to a certain extent.

Anyway, I hope you're having a wonderful break from caring. I look forward to reading next week how you did absolutely nothing you didn't feel like doing.

 

[Slugsta]

(((Ann))) I hope you can get some proper rest for a few days - and forget about everything dementia related (including us).

JM, that does sound rather chaotic! I hope it is all worth it in the end.

(((Poorly peeps)))

My bessie friend came over for coffee and chat this morning ( we would usually go out for same), this arvo hubs took me to GP surgery to have clips removed. It was a bit sore as they came out but it does feel better now that I am rid of them. We popped into Tesco Express on the way home, then back to bed for me - one hour out of the house and I was exhausted!

 

[Rageddy Anne]

At last I've caught up with this thread; having been too occupied with my husband needing my very close attention at all times. ( Another story).

I normally don't DO weeping, but have been in tears here for Ann and Grace, and all of us struggling with this b****y disease, and the fact that that very few of us get much, if any help.

Hubs angrily demanding breakfast here ( he finished a cooked breakfast half an hour ago ) so off I go again, but sending the strongest possible messages of sympathy and empathy and some good old fashioned HUGS.

Are we building up credits for our next incarnation? Would be comforting to think so at our very lowest moments.

 

[Essie]

At last I've caught up with this thread; having been too occupied with my husband needing my very close attention at all times. ( Another story).

I normally don't DO weeping, but have been in tears here for Ann and Grace, and all of us struggling with this b****y disease, and the fact that that very few of us get much, if any help.

Hubs angrily demanding breakfast here ( he finished a cooked breakfast half an hour ago ) so off I go again, but sending the strongest possible messages of sympathy and empathy and some good old fashioned HUGS.

Are we building up credits for our next incarnation? Would be comforting to think so at our very lowest moments.

Anne, you are amazing, your thoughts and sympathies are with others when you go through so much yourself on a daily basis - bless you Anne, huge hugs to you - if what you say is true you, Ann and Grace (and many others on here and not) can look forward to a life of luxury and self indulgence next time round!

 

[2jays]

Funny you should say that about building up credits for the next incarnation..... I think, sometimes, when things are not going well, that I must have been really awful in my last incarnation

Sorry to hear that things are not too good at the moment RAnne

Have a hug xxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[RedLou]

Oh R-Anne - you are amazing. Never forget, you are amazing.

--Isn't it good not to hear from Ann? It's so cheering to know she's NOT having to run herself ragged after MiL for a few days.

 

[Roses40]

I'm so glad you are having a break at last Ann Mac. Is anyone else feeling as if they are having withdrawal symptoms?

 

[Batsue]

Ann, in the nicest possible way I hope we do not hear from you until the end of the week, have a lovely break xxx.

 

[IzzyJ]

Likewise very glad that Ann is NOT here, even though I really miss my daily shot of her posts, always uplifting and so, so empathetic.

Loads of hugs for everyone else, especially Grace (hang in there lady, keep that strength going), and for RaggedyAnne, in the tough times that come too often.

 

[Mich09]

Ive never added to this thread. But its the first thing I read every morning. The way that AnnMac deals with her MIL is amazing. I care for my MIL who is in the later stages of dementia and i find it very hard to keep going at times. It's probably a bit easier for me though because my MIL is virtually bed bound and I have a carer come in 3 times per day whilst I'm at work, so I only have to be her carer at night and my days off.

 

[Amy in the US]

Another person here who reads this every day, and hopes, for Ann's sake, that we don't hear from her.

Hope all the rest of the regulars are as well as possible. Grace, stay firm with those in-laws, and feel better wishes to all with the lurgy going around (I had the US version and it was awful, I still don't feel completely recovered).

 

[Slugsta]

(((RAnne))) sorry that things are so hard for you

Roses, yes, I know what you mean about 'withdrawal symptoms'! Ann has such a lovely way with words, I really enjoy my daily 'fix' here.

Mich09, you only have to be a carer at night and on your days off? You lazy thing! From what I can gather, that still means that you are on duty pretty much 24/7 (((hugs)))

Managed to go out for lunch with hubs today. Just 1km up the road to the local steakhouse but it was lovely to get out. It was also lovely to come home and get to bed again

 

[tigerlady]

I read this every day too, and have never posted here before, but I am so full of admiration for Ann Mac. I'm getting withdrawal symptoms already from her posts, but I truly hope she is having a much deserved rest.

Much love to you Ann xxx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

No word from Ann, hope she's being pampered, and also Mr Mac.
Gloomy here, and chilly, but later on I hope I'll be " off duty" for a day and a night. Will go and camp in sons new flat, no TV yet...how basic is that? But it's warm.

Hope everyone is warm and not too stressed out today....hugs.....

 

[IzzyJ]

No word from Ann, hope she's being pampered, and also Mr Mac.
Gloomy here, and chilly, but later on I hope I'll be " off duty" for a day and a night. Will go and camp in sons new flat, no TV yet...how basic is that? But it's warm.

Hope everyone is warm and not too stressed out today....hugs.....

Off duty, and actually out of the house, Raggedy Anne? That sounds so good, I hope you manage some proper down time for yourself.

Isn't it lovely how many of us read Ann Mac every day, whether we post or not? This thread needs to be put into book format, to reach a wider audience. One day....when she has time.....

Love to everyone

 

[Grace L]

Morning everyone...

I agree IzzyJ, this thread should be read by a much wider audience.
I'd love to see a a film / or drama / documentary on TV ... showing the real Alz/VaD.
There must be someone on here (TP) who has contacts , connections with TV production company.


I'd like to write a book one day about my life. Some of it has been very interesting.
Think my in laws would be horrified if I 'went to print' and got to the bit about my late husband (VaD),
and MiL (Alz). They like to keep 'things like this hidden'.... God help them if they one day get Alz.


Thanks IzzyJ and Amy... I'm staying strong , thank you ... x


AnnM.. I hope you are all having a lovely break ... x