So sorry @Palerider. You are really having a very hard time. Hope you have someone in real life to talk to.
Rhi was a good mate when dad died and she drove up for the funeral she was also funny afterwards chatting away to my family most of whom she had never met before apart from mum and dad.Good to hear you will have someone to talk to /share a hug and to lean on a little . Rhi sounds just what you need . X