on duty 24 hours a day!

[larivy]

Hope your meetings go well today and that Gary behaves thinking of you love larivy

 

[scarletpauline]

I know I keep saying this but thinking of you all the time and hoping things get better, love Pauline xxxxxxxx

 

[purplerose]

Good morning, have been following your thread, if ok with you am adding myself to the folk thinking about you. Have my mother living with us - had my first shouty, screaming episode last night (her not me). Did not cope very well & neither did my partner or my dog! Am looking for that level of acceptance and how to deal with the next one. Wishing we all find l the strength we need for each challenge. Good thread. Thinking of you. xx

 

[elaine n]

Thank you, it really helps knowing you're all there behind me and knowing I can always find someone to talk to when I need to.
Rose, when anything happened here i immediately moved the dogs to another room and locked them in, they were becoming very disturbed by Gary's behavior and it took several days for them to relax after he'd been moved to the unit.

We have our initial meeting with the team this morning and then we'll visit Gary, after Paul's visit yesterday I expect he's feeling a bit anxious

 

[BeckyJan]

Hope the meeting goes well this morning, Elaine and your visit to Gary.

 

[sonia owen]

Meeting

Hi Elaine,,

Hope your meeting goes well, and you can ask all the questions that you need answering. Try and write anything down so you don't forget. Glad you have someone with you who will help you keep track of what they say to you.

They Social Worker is right, they will not let Gary leave them till they can get him calmer and comfort in his mind.
Take care, the right people are now in place to help you. They will know how hard it has been for you.

I hope very soon that you can find yourself again, even if its just a little bit.

Love and hugs.
Sonia xxxxxx

I am taking my Mum to our weekly carers meeting.

 

[Grannie G]

Hope all goes well today Elaine. I expect your stomach is turning somersaults but it will all be in Gary`s best interests and so will be in yours too. xx

 

[susiesue]

Good luck today Elaine - thinking of you

Love

 

[Goingitalone]

Hi Elaine,

I've been following this thread and send best wishes for the meeting today.

Your social worker sounds great, very supportive. I hope you'll get lots of support for the meeting.

We're all praying that they can get Gary's meds right so that whatever happens he will be calm and more settled.

I know it's not easy for you just now but you really do need to get some peace for a while. You've been through so much lately and your poor nerves must be all but shot.

Handing over the care of someone you love so much is really hard. I know how distressed I was by leaving Mum-it must be ten times worse when it's your husband.

You are an absolute star the way you've coped against all the odds. It's clear you love Gary as much as he loves you.

You're doing the very best for him. He's in a safe place and it sounds like he's slowly getting calmer.

I will be thinking of you today and praying all goes well.

God bless,

Maggie

 

[grove]

Hello Elaine , Sending much Love , Support & Prayer's for your Meeting & hope the Visit to see Gary goes ok as can be expected


Wishing you & Paul strength for the Day's & Weeks to come


Take Care & pleased you have your Dogs to keep you company ( they give so much love back do'nt they ? ...... we had a Family Lab for 14 Years )


You & Gary are in my thoughts to day

Love Grove x x

 

[creativesarah]

Morning spent ages sending you a message using my phone and then it disappeared!
the message not the phone
Who knows what I'd put I cant remember
but the gist / jist of it is that I am praying that the best outcome for Gary and you will be achieved and that the powers that be will not be constrained by a time factor (big word for me)
love and prayers
Sarah

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Keeping everything crossed over here, Elaine, for a calm and productive morning and a positive and stress-free visit to Gary.
Love from Deborah x

 

[Helen33]

Hi Elaine,

Just caught up with all the events of the past few days. That friend (or so called friend) sounds like my sister. Is her name Marilyn by any chance

I thought that when Gary asked whether 'mum' was coming, whether he might have meant you. I say this because Alan sometimes called me 'mum'. It may be worth taking this factor into consideration because if it is then the response needs to be that 'you will be coming shortly' rather than with his mum who will be coming 'when she comes back from holiday' etc. etc.

I hope that today goes as well as it can and thank goodness that you have someone to act as an advocate and hopefully offer you some local support. I was relieved to hear that Gary won't have to be moved from the unit prematurely and that the pros will work in his ultimate best interest.

I'll look in later angel.

Love x

 

[creativesarah]

just popped in to
Luv Sarah
actually I wondered the same thing as Helen

 

[sallyc]

Hi Elaine

Much of this thread developed while I was on hols.

Today, as I'm laid up in bed with a stomach bug, is the first chance I've had to catch up.

I've read the whole thread from start to finish.

I just wanted to say I'm glad you've managed to get the help you so desperately needed. I really hope Gary continues to calm down and that they can sort out his meds so he's happier and more settled.

Now I'm up to speed on what's been happening with you, I'll keep popping in to ee how you're doing.

Thinking of you.

 

[thatwoman]

Hi Elaine,

just popped in to see if there's any news yet. How was your meeting? I hope it was useful, and that your visit to Gary was more positive too. Thinking of you both,

Love and hugs,

Sue xxx

 

[elaine n]

The meeting with Gary's nurse was held in an office inside the locked ward and the inevitable happened - gary was wandering and spotted me through the window in the door so of course we had to let him in. End of meeting! All I seemed to be doing was going over the lead up to his admission though which I'd already told the psychiatrist the day he was admitted, which he'd written down, don't they ever communicate?
His nurse told me that in her experience it was unusual for someone to be on a level 3 watch for this length of time, that he was still uncooperative with the staff, resistant to any physical intervention eg help with personal care etc and by now they would have expected to see a reduction in his level of anxiety.

We found him less hostile but very restless, he couldn't sit down for more than a minute or two, his right hand is swollen, which I pointed out although they'd already noticed it , when he's standing or walking he's bending sideways to the left and complaining of back pain and a head ache. We tried to get him to take some paracetomol but he spat it out. He doesn't seem to be as agitated today so the visit wasn't as harrowing as the others have been.
He did say at one point to me 'You're my mum, my mum' so yesterday when Paul told him she wasn't with us anymore, in effect he was telling Gary I'd died, no wonder he kicked off.
I shan't visit again til Friday, when Jane comes to see him because I don't actually think it's any comfort to him having me there, he's pleased to see me initially but the anxiety soon takes over and he's off doing what he usually does, walking and walking. He doesn't ask me to take him home anymore, he just wants to get out and that's what he'd want if he was here with me

 

[larivy]

Sorry meeting did not work out
I think you deserve some of nellbelles water
Love larivy

 

[normelle]

hi elaine

just to let you know my thoughts are with you.
like everyone says ,do call for more help.
love normelle xx

 

[sue38]

he just wants to get out and that's what he'd want if he was here with me

There comes a point when 'going home' means just being somewhere else, and realising that Gary would be just as agitated to go home, even he was at home, is a big step.

I'm sorry the meeting wasn't as constructive as you hoped. Have any decisions been made as to where you and Gary go from here?