Nursing homes

[jorgieporgie]

You haven't lost he plot Aisling, it is your body telling you it is time to rest it. You are going through a grieving process, I know you haven't lost T but you have in someway as he isn't at home with you. My SIL whose Husband went into care a couple of months before he died felt exactly the same as you in fact I think she felt worst then than she dose now.
You will get stronger Aisling and try to get to see the GP if you get sick who will visit T, he still needs your support. Loads of love sent to you xxx

 

[CeliaThePoet]

Do try to see a doctor. Have blood test to make sure your vitamin d, etc, are ok. I cannot remember if you have antidepressants but these might help you through this different period. You can feel better, do try.

 

[Aisling]

You haven't lost he plot Aisling, it is your body telling you it is time to rest it. You are going through a grieving process, I know you haven't lost T but you have in someway as he isn't at home with you. My SIL whose Husband went into care a couple of months before he died felt exactly the same as you in fact I think she felt worst then than she dose now.
You will get stronger Aisling and try to get to see the GP if you get sick who will visit T, he still needs your support. Loads of love sent to you xxx

Thank you Jorgie. You are spot on re grieving process.

Aisling

 

[Aisling]

Do try to see a doctor. Have blood test to make sure your vitamin d, etc, are ok. I cannot remember if you have antidepressants but these might help you through this different period. You can feel better, do try.

Thank you Celia. I wii go to doctor when I can. TP support is great.

Aisling

 

[jorgieporgie]

Always here Aisling. I am feeling sad at the moment, Mum not good plus I don't feel hundred percent at present. Never mind as you say TP is a good support and gets us through bad times. Big hug xx

 

[Aisling]

Nursing Home

hi all,

Just sharing the following. Spent ages with OH yesterday and doing bit of shopping in late night shop!! Huge place that drove me mad!! A beautiful little girl ( about 3) in trolly who asked her Mum " why is that lady so sad?" I couldn't believe my ears! A light in the darkness so I stopped, smiled at the child and said I was sad because " I couldn't find what I was looking for". Her Mum then found the fruit brack for me, child beamed on me and for that few minutes I thought " what a beautiful world" and also how amazing and perceptive children can be. They learn this skill from amazing parents. Bless all of them.

Aisling

 

[MollyD]

Beautiful.

 

[stanleypj]

Yes, that's such a great story. Thanks for sharing it with us Aisling.

 

[pamann]

Hello Ailsling, l visited my husband everyday, wouldn't have it any other way, its now 10months since he went into CH. I know how you are feeling, it is so hard for us, we have lost them, but we haven't, l have days when it really gets to me, then the other day someone said to me you are grieving its like a bearevment, maybe thats what it is. I do treat myself to a full body swedish massage every 4 weeks, its helps me to sleep and relax, l have had this treatment since my husband went away. I am lucky that my Eldest son lives with me, he is 50 and so much like his father, that is a comfort for me.
All we can do is hope that it will get better in time.

 

[MollyD]

Hi Aisling. How has your day been so far? ♡

 

[Aisling]

Hi Aisling. How has your day been so far? ♡

Hi Molly,

MY day!!!!!! Am putting captions into large photo album for OH. OF course I had all photoes hand labelled but S n L therapist wants them printed out large so OH can read them........ sweet mother of trees and leprechauns!!! Lord help T he is not able to read any more. She thinks he will read one word under photo. She doesn't really see him so it will be ok and I wont have ongoing meetings with her so am just keeping her happy.

SW seems to think she should be keeping an eye on me. Couldnt see anyone when I needed them. She came out yesterday and I put on an Oscar winning performance so that's her happy now and she doesn't need to see me any more. I can phone her if I need anything.

Phone call from HSE this morning to say that there was a mistake made with NH fees and I now have to pay more each week. So help me ......................................

Am thinking about busking.......... People might give a few bob for me to stop.

Am really in a cave, dont really see anyone or talk to anyone. I actually check in to my post every day to check it. I know seriously that this is really sad. I cant believe that I am so lost that I am depending on a computer for contact

I have figured that it is part of a grieving process and am in a moratorium stage. whatever that is.

I put my nose out today, local shop, got a salad roll, ate it at home and 30 minutes later I was as sick as a parrot. Something wrong with salad.

I hope you are as ok as you can be today.

Sending you loads of thank yous and lots of support.

Aisling

 

[LadyA]

Tell the HSE to send you exact details in writing of what mistake was made, and their new calculations. They wouldn't be so quick to correct it if you were paying too much.

 

[jorgieporgie]

Oh Aisling,
Thinking about you. It is strange that we depend on people we don't actually have contact with only on the computer, but I feel like I have known you all personally. I paint a picture of everyone who I talk to on here and I bet it is nothing like what you all look like. As long as we get comfort and support from talking to each other, that is all that matters. Take care and what out for dodgy salad sandwiches!! x

 

[Aisling]

Tell the HSE to send you exact details in writing of what mistake was made, and their new calculations. They wouldn't be so quick to correct it if you were paying too much.

Will try to see secretary in NH tomorrow and ask her about it. I was so shocked and half asleep when talking to Fair Deal expert this morning. She rabbited in quick sentences and stupid me said ok. Now that I look at it, the increase will cripple me financially.

Aisling xx

 

[Aisling]

Oh Aisling,
Thinking about you. It is strange that we depend on people we don't actually have contact with only on the computer, but I feel like I have known you all personally. I paint a picture of everyone who I talk to on here and I bet it is nothing like what you all look like. As long as we get comfort and support from talking to each other, that is all that matters. Take care and what out for dodgy salad sandwiches!! x

Yes Jorgie, you are correct. Thank God we have each other.

Aisling xx

 

[MollyD]

That's just terrible, Aisling. I'm so sorry to hear this. LadyA is spot on, the other way round and HSE feet would be dragging.

Your description of the photo/life album is hilarious. If you get something nostalgic/meaningful from doing it at least it's valuable. Mum has so little concentration and her eyesight is so poor I wouldn't attempt to put anything together. I show her photos and read to her in short spurts and that's really her limit. 'Activities' is a term I shudder at when I hear it. Or day care. These things are fabulous for many people but would be purgatory for mum.

I hope you get satisfactory answers today. I hope the FD crew don't pull the plug on this Nursing Home. Please keep posting. That's too much to deal with alone. Thinking of you.♡

 

[Aisling]

That's just terrible, Aisling. I'm so sorry to hear this. LadyA is spot on, the other way round and HSE feet would be dragging.

Your description of the photo/life album is hilarious. If you get something nostalgic/meaningful from doing it at least it's valuable. Mum has so little concentration and her eyesight is so poor I wouldn't attempt to put anything together. I show her photos and read to her in short spurts and that's really her limit. 'Activities' is a term I shudder at when I hear it. Or day care. These things are fabulous for many people but would be purgatory for mum.

I hope you get satisfactory answers today. I hope the FD crew don't pull the plug on this Nursing Home. Please keep posting. That's too much to deal with alone. Thinking of you.♡

Just in home now. Foned F D this morning. Nil satisfaction. They won't pull the plug TG but extra must be paid and new D D signed. Over 3 k extra per year and nothing I can do about it. Talked to NH manager. T needs full time so flip all I can do about it. S and L therapist pleased with my work on album. She doesn't need to see me again unless something happens and she asked for my permissions for staff to refer T to her if needed that's good. Also care plan and meds discussed with manager and this is all excellent. I need to be involved in T's care. I have to get T a CD player as they don't have enough to go around. The laundry reduced his jumpers to teddy bear size!! Got a few more on way home. I could believe my eyes when Nurse gave T his meds with a smile. Into hand and T swallowed them with a drink of water......... No hassle in the castle. My eyes nearly popped out!! I showed him all the good news on paper!! Well I made up stories and have absolutely no guilt feelings whatsoever. Had ice cream in garden.

Activities make hair stand on the back of my neck!! Allergic to word. Back in the land of silence now so phoned my friend to come up for half hour.

Will be looking for a part time job soon. Some hope but seriously crippled financially now. Am not moaning really, just need to tell someone. TG for TP.

I totally understand that DC would not suit your mum. It is so difficult and resources / health care is nil. In my opinion this is amoral in any country. What I wonder does democracy / civilisation mean?

Here comes friend for coffee. No beds to be removed today!!!! Pity!!

Aisling xxxxxxx

 

[MollyD]

Oh, Aisling, 3 grand? That just sucks. They are an absolutely disgraceful shower of messers.

It'd be wonderful if you got a job quickly. Don't give up hope on that. T's excellent NH care and your ongoing love, care and input can move mountains. You've shouldered so much already. A part time job is well within range.

I hope you enjoyed your coffee and company, God, you so need and deserve that smidgen of respite and time for yourself. Does your friend do manicures and hairdos? That'd be just the ticket.

Hugs.

 

[LadyA]

An extra 57euro a week?!! :-o
Never mind part time jobs - are you close to any Docks?! You'd earn more, tax free!
Because let's not forget Aisling - if you work, your income increases, doesn't it? And if your "means" increases, heaven forbid that YOU might be able to use that extra money for luxuries like food or heat! Nope - if you have any extra "means" your payments could end up being reassessed again! I think it's to ensure that people are not going into nursing homes to live in luxury and ease - the idea is to make it the last resort by ensuring that a spouse is forced into grinding poverty and kept there!

Oh, don't start me!!

 

[Aisling]

An extra 57euro a week?!! :-o
Never mind part time jobs - are you close to any Docks?! You'd earn more, tax free!
Because let's not forget Aisling - if you work, your income increases, doesn't it? And if your "means" increases, heaven forbid that YOU might be able to use that extra money for luxuries like food or heat! Nope - if you have any extra "means" your payments could end up being reassessed again! I think it's to ensure that people are not going into nursing homes to live in luxury and ease - the idea is to make it the last resort by ensuring that a spouse is forced into grinding poverty and kept there!

Oh, don't start me!!

Don't live near docks!! Friend doesn't do hair or manicures!!unfortunately. I simply can't believe what's happened. Am almost speechless!! I knew I would be struggling but now I almost have nothing. Pay extra or T can't stay in Care. So the realist answer is get on with it. Food, petrol and try to survive. Getting hair done ?? Pigs will fly. Lovely boy on TV going to carry torch in Olympics! Bless him.


Had an idea...... Might try old fashioned bartering..... I will trade my skills for other peoples' skills. Well?

I won't start on ranting how both of us worked all our lives...... long long days...... You all have experience of that.

Thank you for always helping me.

Aisling xx