Am in a total muddle. Mind in turmoil. I am so amazed at the many people who care for their loved ones at home. The words familiar surroundings breaks my heart. OH does not really know where home is but perhaps on a deep level, he is aware of it.
Very few people seem to have loves ones in CH or NH and if they have, are spending long hours in CH or NH with them. What on earth is wrong with me that I don't seem to have the courage/ backbone/ whatever to know I can care continuously when other people are coping with end of life care at home? Am angry with myself as I never backed away from challenges before or didn't finish whatever I set out to do.
If I decide on NC, then after I die, home etc will be sold to pay remaining loan for NS. I will be depriving my son of inheriting his home.
Am now wondering if I could get private carer to help me? And continue as long as I can manage it financially?
Respite have said that it is impossible for me to continue but of course it is up to me.They had to give OH extra supervision this week.
A man who was so involved with all aspects of life and now just fixated on tiny things. No sustained interest in anything and he looks so lost. I feel so guilty even posting this message. I can't do anything today... Nothing. Sitting under duvet....crying. Trying to make up my mind...will I post this msge or not? I don't want to upset anyone on forum. I can only admire how amazing everyone is.
Please if possible can someone tell me how I can continue to care for him at home like so many of you do? I completely understand if there are no replies to this post. Honestly. No offence will be taken. I just need to write it down. Yea I could pop it into a notebook. Maybe in some small way, this post will help someone else who may be in the same situation. If OH is in NH, then I know I will want to be with him every day. Then I will still not give myself a chance to feel better and stronger. I admire those of you who have people in Nursing homes and spend long hours every day with them.
Am so angry as well that there is little health care for vulnerable people, having worked for a lifetime, paid taxes etc and then at the end their home has to be sold for health care.
What skills do I need to develop? What am I missing? But as I have already said, I understand. Sometimes there are questions but no answer?
To all of you who have helped me this far on my journey, thank you.
Aisling
Very few people seem to have loves ones in CH or NH and if they have, are spending long hours in CH or NH with them. What on earth is wrong with me that I don't seem to have the courage/ backbone/ whatever to know I can care continuously when other people are coping with end of life care at home? Am angry with myself as I never backed away from challenges before or didn't finish whatever I set out to do.
If I decide on NC, then after I die, home etc will be sold to pay remaining loan for NS. I will be depriving my son of inheriting his home.
Am now wondering if I could get private carer to help me? And continue as long as I can manage it financially?
Respite have said that it is impossible for me to continue but of course it is up to me.They had to give OH extra supervision this week.
A man who was so involved with all aspects of life and now just fixated on tiny things. No sustained interest in anything and he looks so lost. I feel so guilty even posting this message. I can't do anything today... Nothing. Sitting under duvet....crying. Trying to make up my mind...will I post this msge or not? I don't want to upset anyone on forum. I can only admire how amazing everyone is.
Please if possible can someone tell me how I can continue to care for him at home like so many of you do? I completely understand if there are no replies to this post. Honestly. No offence will be taken. I just need to write it down. Yea I could pop it into a notebook. Maybe in some small way, this post will help someone else who may be in the same situation. If OH is in NH, then I know I will want to be with him every day. Then I will still not give myself a chance to feel better and stronger. I admire those of you who have people in Nursing homes and spend long hours every day with them.
Am so angry as well that there is little health care for vulnerable people, having worked for a lifetime, paid taxes etc and then at the end their home has to be sold for health care.
What skills do I need to develop? What am I missing? But as I have already said, I understand. Sometimes there are questions but no answer?
To all of you who have helped me this far on my journey, thank you.
Aisling