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anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
248
Hi Anmarg , thank you for your comment. I hope things go well for your dad and you manage to find a suitable, permanent home for your dad.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
847
@anxious annie , so glad your mum has settled in her care home so well. That must be a great relief to you and your sister.
 
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Twopoodles

Registered User
Dec 23, 2019
33
Haven’t long been on this forum and have now read this thread from beginning to end. What a help it has been as mum is at a very similar stage to where your mum was at the beginning. I live in Australia and have come back for 8 months to try and sort things out. I have 3 other siblings, 2 of whom live some distance away and one who lives close by but sadly is an alcoholic and has taken advantage in the past, he has reduced his visits since I’ve been here. So our big dilemma is where and when and what to with the cat Mum is also very non compliant the poor carers although they don’t do a lot as she won’t allow it certainly get the cold shoulder. Appreciate you spending the time to update your thread and all the other contributors
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
248
Hi Twopoodles
You have my sympathy, caring from a distance has it's own problems, and for you in Australia it must be even more difficult. My heart goes out to you and your siblings at this difficult time.
It's very frustrating when you put care in place and the PWD is resistant as they feel they are fully capable, when in reality they do need this support.
My sister and i tried to do our best for mum to keep her at home for 2 and a half years after dad died, but it was really hard going, as mum allowed the carers to do very little.
in the end we had to move her into care as it was becoming dangerous for her to live by herself at home, and she was getting increasingly lonely.
I hope that you will be able to sort things for your mum whilst you are staying over here, and maybe she will accept moving into care before you return to Australia so that things don't have to come to a crisis once you're gone and there is no-one close by to keep an eye to her.
If you haven't done so already it would be good to get POA in place whilst your mum still has capacity to agree. You, and your 2 reliable siblings could all be on together, as "jointly and severally" , so you don't all have to be together to action things. We found it so useful for paying bills etc.
Mum didn't have pets so i can't advise about the cat, but think you would be best to re-home it. I am sure your mum would miss it, but i have heard others who have got a "toy" cat for their PWD, they can be very life like and others have said they bring great comfort.
Wishing you and your family all the best with looking after your mum.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
248
Hi All
Everything still fine with mum. I'm popping up for a couple of days later in the week as am away for 10 days from Sunday, jetting off to Lanzarote for some winter sun.
I went away last year, and although enjoyed the break, I still worried about mum being ill and no one there to help.
Now she is in the care home I am feeling so much more relaxed as I know there are people about 24/7 to care for her. I still feel this huge sense of relief.
Once I'm back I'll have to get on with clearing the house,getting an Estate Agent etc. But for now I'm just going to look forward to the holiday.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
484
Now she is in the care home I am feeling so much more relaxed as I know there are people about 24/7 to care for her. I still feel this huge sense of relief.
Hi @anxious annie, I can certainly relate to that feeling. Enjoy your break, and deal with the property when you get back. All the best
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
248
Hi All
Mum was fine when I popped to see her before my holiday. The holiday was great, lovely and relaxing. I know that I'm fortunate in my circumstances, and I still feel and empathise with what others are going through in their role of carer. I realise that there will be problems ahead, so am making the most of this time with mum happy and cared for.
I go back to visit at the end of the month when my sister and I will also start the process of clearing and selling mum's house so funds are available when she needs them.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
484
Hi @anxious annie, good to hear you had a relaxing holiday (with no dramas from home!). I found the house clearance to be quite and emotional and difficult experience - it's good that you and your sister are doing it together, you can support each other. All the best.