How can I help?

[Pete1]

Hi @anxious annie, good news about the house sale How very frustrating and sad that you couldn't see Mum properly, travelling all that distance. You can't help but feel the home should have sorted a better arrangement by now - wellbeing is about connecting with loved ones too. I hope the vaccine paves the way forward for you and the family.

All the best

 

[anxious annie]

Thanks @Pete1 , I have face timed mum today , she doesn't understand why she and the other residents need to be in their own rooms and is missing the company of others. I know that she is clean and well fed and someone is there if she has a problem, but I do feel very sad when I hear the residents are back in "solitary confinement". Am hoping there will be no need for this once residents and staff have been vaccinated.

 

[MartinWL]

House sale issues are a nightmare to come for me. My dad is a bit of a hoarder and refuses to throw away useless junk, he won't accept the idea that he is never going to use things again. I am not pushing it, unless the item is dangerous I am just leaving it. I have told him that when the time comes I will need to order a skip as well as a coffin!! When the time does come it is going to be a massive task and I can imagine I shall need to pay for a labourer for a couple of weeks!

 

[anxious annie]

We cleared a lot from mum's house after dad died as he was a real hoarder too @MartinWL Surprising how much there can be in a small 3 bed house!

 

[anxious annie]

Mum and the other residents came out of solitary confinement , only for another staff member to test positive 7 days later, so now all isolated again. How long do those in power think this should be ok to go on for? Residents will still be isolating through Spring, Summer as staff will test positive and " outbreaks" occur as Covid is here to stay. When numbers go down and residents have good protection from the vaccines, care homes must open up, balancing the risk of infection with that of risk to mental health from no meaningful visits.

 

[annielou]

Oh dear thats sad to read @anxious annie. Bet the residents wonder whats going on keep being confined then allowed out for a bit and then confined again. Its so sad for all you family members too who don't get to see them and also worry about effect it's having on them. I hope they all get vaccines soon and start allowing visits.

 

[MartinWL]

Mum and the other residents came out of solitary confinement , only for another staff member to test positive 7 days later, so now all isolated again. How long do those in power think this should be ok to go on for? Residents will still be isolating through Spring, Summer as staff will test positive and " outbreaks" occur as Covid is here to stay. When numbers go down and residents have good protection from the vaccines, care homes must open up, balancing the risk of infection with that of risk to mental health from no meaningful visits.

I agree with you. My own mother has just been confined to her room for a fortnight for the same reason. Fortunately almost everyone at the home has had their first jab, which is not a guarantee but reduces the risk.

 

[anxious annie]

I feel for your mum @MartinWL , it must be so hard for them to be confined to a bedroom for 14 days, which is basically "solitary confinement" , and a punishment for prisoners! And sadly these periods of isolation just keep being repeated as staff members keep testing positive at different times. I was seeing photos from Australia I think , from the "quarantine hotels" and hearing families talk of how difficult this was. I thought to myself, yes it's not easy to do, but at least they had each other for company and were playing games etc Try doing this by yourself, with dementia I thought, and keep repeating again and again, then they'd realise how hard it can be!

 

[anxious annie]

Thanks @annielou , yes I hope the vaccines will help. I hope you are coping ok, sending you hugs X

 

[Sarasa]

Sorry about the revolving door isolation policy at you mother's care home @anxious annie. I think my mother's care home tries to avoid that happening, I certainly can't see any way my mother would stay put in her bedroom. She is a wanderer, and if not allowed to do so could get quite aggressive. I hope the vaccine roll out puts an end to that happening.

 

[anxious annie]

Thank you @Sarasa , I know that some of the residents find it hard to stay put as when I FaceTime mum one lady in particular often pops by to say hello ( mum gets animated when she sees her). I hope now they've had the vaccine, and a couple of weeks to build protection, that if there is another outbreak they would let negative residents go into communal areas, but who knows? Maybe the home will still want to "protect" them and ignore the fact that isolation has a huge detrimental effect on those with dementia.

 

[anxious annie]

Had a lovely indoor visit with mum, holding her hand , on Monday. Named visitors are allowed one 30 minute visit a week as the visits are in a " family room" rather than the residents own room so it's harder to fit in more tha 5 visits a day says the manager. All staff and residents have had 1st vaccine in January, and I had mine 3 weeks ago. Had a negative LFT and wore ppe, so in my opinion the Government and care home are over cautious and need to open up more quickly than the possibility of 2 visitors allowed at step 2. I think my mum would be perfectly safe to be taken out to the park by me but new out of home visits guidance suggests that this won't be happening until June 21st at the earliest. I feel she is still a prisoner so will keep campaigning to speed things up so residents have the same rights as the general public. The vaccine has made them much less vulnerable in my opinion. The care home say they don't have the staff to test family for essential care giver, so if there is an outbreak (2 positive cases) all visiting will stop for 28 days which I feel is so unfair! My sister is still doing closed window visits to allow me to have indoor visits as I have a 5 hour round trip and can't chance the weather being ok, whereas she can be more flexible. I do appreciate her doing this.

 

[Lone Wolf]

Great that you had a nice visit on Monday @anxious annie. On a risk basis, taking your Mum out to the park would have to be one of the safest places to go, safer than inside the care home, and the fresh air and seeing the spring daffodils would be so nice for your Mum's wellbeing. The definition of "essential care giver" is ridiculously narrow. If residents have survived the last 12 months without visitors, then no current prospective visitor is likely to meet the definition. It should include emotional care givers and care home managers should be compelled to complete and provide a standard checklist assessment to any requesting key visitor. Other than for new residents, care home staff know very well who key essential visitors are, being the ones who have done their utmost to keep in contact with their loved one throughout the last 12 months of lockdown.

 

[anxious annie]

Hi @Lone Wolf , yes I quite agree. I hope you're managing to get regular indoor visits X

 

[anxious annie]

Hi,am just updating as it's been a little while. I had another indoor visit with mum at the beginning of April, was so lovely to be in the same room as her, sitting by her side. Mum has been "up and down" health wise as she was due an operation in January which had to be cancelled as covid cases rose across the country. She was in a fair amount of pain and spending more time than usual lying on her bed. She had her rescheduled operation a few weeks ago and is now so much better. I am looking forward to seeing her in a couple of weeks when I go for a short visit. Hoping that the weather is ok so we can go over to the park, but if it's raining my husband and I will both be allowed indoors to the visitors room. My sister has ECG for mental well being, but doesn't visit very often as has lots of other commitments. We went for ECG in the hope that if there was another "outbreak" then my sister could continue supporting mum, just as staff do. All residents and staff have now had 2 doses of the vaccine and my sister, husband and I are due 2nd dose in a few days, so feeling "safe" about the risk of visits now being very low. Hoping that more visiting will be announced on May 17th, and more normal visits in June, but do realise how over cautious Government will be.
Thank goodness they bowed to pressure from Human Rights committee, and John'Campaign and Rights for Residents and got rid of the 14 day isolation after visits out!!
Mum's home also adopted a bit of common sense and her isolation after hospital stay was reduced from 14 to 5 days, which was better for mum. The hospital also agreed ( after countless emails and support from Dementia nurse) that mum could take a covid test and isolate for 3 days, instead of the 14 they had originally said.
I honestly don't think they or the Government and Public Health England understand the impact of isolation on anyone, and particularly on those with dementia.

 

[Sarasa]

That's lots of positive news @anxious annie . I'm glad the operation went well and the hospital and the care home used some common sense regarding isolation.
Enjoy your visit when it happens

 

[Lone Wolf]

Hi,am just updating as it's been a little while. I had another indoor visit with mum at the beginning of April, was so lovely to be in the same room as her, sitting by her side. Mum has been "up and down" health wise as she was due an operation in January which had to be cancelled as covid cases rose across the country. She was in a fair amount of pain and spending more time than usual lying on her bed. She had her rescheduled operation a few weeks ago and is now so much better. I am looking forward to seeing her in a couple of weeks when I go for a short visit. Hoping that the weather is ok so we can go over to the park, but if it's raining my husband and I will both be allowed indoors to the visitors room. My sister has ECG for mental well being, but doesn't visit very often as has lots of other commitments. We went for ECG in the hope that if there was another "outbreak" then my sister could continue supporting mum, just as staff do. All residents and staff have now had 2 doses of the vaccine and my sister, husband and I are due 2nd dose in a few days, so feeling "safe" about the risk of visits now being very low. Hoping that more visiting will be announced on May 17th, and more normal visits in June, but do realise how over cautious Government will be.
Thank goodness they bowed to pressure from Human Rights committee, and John'Campaign and Rights for Residents and got rid of the 14 day isolation after visits out!!
Mum's home also adopted a bit of common sense and her isolation after hospital stay was reduced from 14 to 5 days, which was better for mum. The hospital also agreed ( after countless emails and support from Dementia nurse) that mum could take a covid test and isolate for 3 days, instead of the 14 they had originally said.
I honestly don't think they or the Government and Public Health England understand the impact of isolation on anyone, and particularly on those with dementia.

@anxious annie isolation of a person with dementia is simply diabolical. Such care home residents should have always been allowed at least one ECG visitor at all times. Many of us were, before March 2019, actually part of the daily care team.

 

[anxious annie]

Thanks for your good wishes @Sarasa .
Yes, visiting restrictions are still tough @Lone Wolf . I was initially quite pleased to hear of no isolation after medical appointment and up to 5 visitors, but when I thought about it I realise the Government hasn't really done very much! The 14 day isolation after a medical appointment should never have been in place , and the PHE 28 day rule has been so OTT for a long while. Although a resident can, in theory, have more visitors, this doesn't follow that it will mean they get more visits! In a care home that uses one designated visitor room will only have so many slots available each day and until visits are allowed in residents bedroom there will be no improvement. It's wrong that a resident can't go indoors at a family home, to meet with up to 6 to have, for example, tea and cake ( they could be seeing 5 of these same people indoors at the care home , but any other "vulnerable" person living in the community can do this next week!! And lots more other freedoms for everyone else too. Residents have had 2 vaccines, and cases in the community as low as they have ever been. When will their restrictions be removed .... June 21st? I shouldn't think so going on past experience. So totally wrong!
Hopefully R4R and John's Campaign will fight on, not sure if any other organisation is that interested, or maybe I have it wrong ant they are campaigning behind the scenes?

 

[Lone Wolf]

The end of the cruel 14 day isolation is perhaps the most significant improvement, but most of the visiting guideline improvements have been a triumph of form over substance. In the conservatory where I am allowed a 30 minute visit at my loved one's home, it is already crowded with up to 3 single visitors at once - more than that would be too crowded even before all this started. Will normal visiting ever resume @anxious annie? I fear that too many care homes are happy with total control of visiting, and in my case at least I am made to feel that they are doing me an enormous favour in granting a 30 minute conservatory visit. If there was a feasible alternative, I would have my loved one out of the care home faster than a lightning strike.

 

[anxious annie]

Yes @Lone Wolf , we are supposed to be grateful for 30 minutes a week, and I imagine current fears over Indian variant will only delay a return to normality for care home visiting. Sad days.