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anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
599
I have just got back from a long weekend with my sister. The good news is that the home is allowing two visitors at a time , socially distanced in the garden, but didn't have to wear masks this time, and the two visitors can vary, doesn't have to be the same two. The manager feels risks are minimal outside, and residents need to see their families. There needs to be consistency across the homes I feel. I don't know if indoor visits will go ahead as number of cases rise nationally, but hope so and will see when I visit next month. We cleared more of mum's house, and just need to arrange a charity furniture collection for the next time were up, as house sale still going ahead.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Thats good, so glad you got to visit your mum this weekend. and well done on doing more house clearing. Hope visiting continues ok for you 🤞x
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
599
Hi All
Just a quick update.
I had a window visit when I was at mum's last week as I told the manager that it was too cold for mum outside, and they have still not got their Perspex screen for inside visits to go ahead. It's a shame as by the time it's sorted for indoors who knows what tier or restrictions we will have.
Listening to Boris tonight answeing a question about visits it sounds like there's still no urgency to find a solution, and when one is found likely to be for "exceptional circumstances". I think what I feel is exceptional ( no hug for over 7 months etc) won't be classed as exceptional to the government.
I was grateful for the crumb of a window visit, tho I had to shout for mum to hear me, and she kept saying "you can come in you know" .... I wish.
Sad, as it was her birthday, how many more she'll have, who can say at 82.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
893
Hi @anxious annie, sorry to hear that. I'm afraid for Johnson and the Government Care Home visits clearly aren't a priority and hence have been left for months with no real action (many now 8 months or more), whereas for anyone with a loved one they want to visit they are probably their highest priority, and something that is constantly on their mind. I feel for you and all the good people and their loved ones in care that are going through this pain. In my humble opinion it's unjust and unfair - the time for action and implementation of innovative and alternative solutions was the summer when infection rates were low, sadly that didn't happen. I don't know if there are alternative ways of keeping in touch with Mum that work for you? e.g. Skype/Phone/Letters/Cards, I know they aren't a substitution for visiting but perhaps something. I wish you all the best, stay strong.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
599
Hi @Pete1 , thanks for your good wishes. Yes I agree that the summer would have been the best time to get solutions in place. I do manage to write to mum, send postcards, phone and FaceTime to keep in touch, but obviously as you say, not a substitution for face to face visiting. Mum is still able to access FaceTime, but it is very hit and miss,depending on the wifi connection! Tho of course Matt feels giving out tablets solves the difficulty of connecting with loved ones.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
599
We managed to get a charity to come and collect the decent large furniture , and finished off with a few tip runs and some small donations to charity shop last week. Spent the weekend giving the house a final clean, emotional time for my sister and I , particularly when I handed her my key to what had been our childhood home. So many happy memories, and just waiting now to hear how close to completion things are. It was all very stressful and rushed as we could see further coved restrictions looming. I had a rubbish window visit as new guidance had come in from local authority to say the windows must be closed. I ended up standing outside in the rain, phoning into the home, and signal is so poor in mum's room it kept breaking up! Mum was worried I was getting wet, so not very happy. I just wish Boris, Matt and Helen could have been with me. Perhaps then they would get on with testing family members to facilitate safe indoor visits. And no, I don't mean behind the prison screen, I want to hug my mum now, not at "end of life" .
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
893
Hi @anxious annie, it is an extremely emotional time having to clear the property, especially as it holds your fond childhood memories. I hope you can complete as that will help I'm sure.

I'm really sorry to hear about your visit, it must be awful for you, there has been little appetite from those who can enact change to do anything of substance. I'm afraid Whately has failed in her duty, months of inaction. I will say no more on the matter. I just hope you get some small solace in visiting Mum. I really feel for you and all the good folk in the same position.

All the best
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
599
Well the house sale exchanged on Friday and is due to exchange on the 11th. People are keen to get in for Christmas. I am less stressed now about it all falling through. It will be a relief for us not to have to keep an eye on it through the Winter. Mum is oblivious to it all, she asks about what shall we do with the house so I turn the question round and ask what she would like to do with it. She always says sell it, then changes her mind and says she will need somewhere to go back to so I tell her we don't have to decide right now, and that seems to ease her mind, and we move on to other topics.
Mum has been poorly and spent a couple of nights in hospital, is back at the home but listed for an " urgent" operation. Unfortunately she is currently isolating in her room for 14 days, not very good as all residents had spent 12 days in isolation as a staff member had tested positive. Mum had only been back with the others for 6 days, before her trip to hospital. I face timed this morning and she seemed quite "low", just fed up being by herself I think.It seems so cruel to do this, it would drive me mad and I could read, watch films etc. Although mum has a tv she can't really follow programmes. I hope to go to see her soon, but it's still window visits and for me a 5 and a half hour round trip as currently can't stop over at my sisters. I hope Boris will relax the tiers soon but not hopeful. I am keeping busy campaigning with Rights for Residents. So much publicity and Government saying all the right things, I hope that they deliver on their promises and we all get the indoor visits and hugs we want and need.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
599
Face timed mum again today. It froze twice in 10 minutes so gave up. Mum must feel abandoned. She's only half way through a 14 day isolation and today said "I'm lonely, they tell me to go back" ( am assuming she attempts to walk down the corridor) . My heart breaks for her, I'm in pieces, it's all so very wrong and so very sad.
 

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