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Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by anxious annie, Jan 2, 2019.
It's so lovely to get support from everyone on TP
I remember the feeling of relief - I was counting down the weeks in the end, praying my mother didn't have an incident and end up in hospital just before she was due to move. My mother was lonely at home (despite having carers for 5 or 6 hours a day) and I think one of the main benefits of a CH for her is the constant company.
I agree you don't need to ring too often - they will call you if there is any problem.
i was just the same, hoping nothing happened before mum was due to move in. My sister has just phoned me to say that she has popped in to see mum this morning and all is ok. Mum was wondering where her house keys were, but didn't ask about going home ( too busy choosing what biscuit she wanted with her coffee!) My sister spoke with a member of staff, and mum has had a couple of "accidents" in the bathroom ( this was happening at home too), and some wandering at night, but otherwise all is fine. I'll phone later in the week to see how mum is and my sister will go again at the weekend. I hope they don't think she is a nuisance and not let her stay after the 4 weeks is up if she's still wandering/messing, which she is likely to do. The staff didn't say this, but i just hope all will be ok as she is enjoying the company and activities.
Your mother seems to be settling in well, what a relief for you and your sister. I had the same worries about my mother being too much of a 'nuisance' and them asking her to leave. Honestly, they won't. Wandering and continence issues are all part of what they expect to deal with. I am willing to bet many of the residents have those issues.
My mother also had a fall two weeks after she moved there and needed a hospital visit, and again I thought they might find that too 'high maintenance' but of course they didn't.
Thank you for your reassurance, Sirena. I am feeling more easy with the situation now x
Hi @anxious annie, it sounds as though your Mum is settling in well and seems much more at ease. I'm sure if there were any significant issues you would be aware by now. Care Homes that specialize in dementia will have managed all of the characteristics your Mum displays, so try not to worry. Hopefully you and your sister are feeling a little more relaxed and at ease knowing Mum is being cared for 24/7. All the best - keep posting.
Thanks, Pete, it's all going well at the moment. Long may it continue!
hi, have spoken with staff this morning, and all is fine ( mum having a few toileting issues, messing on the floor as she used to at home), but they're managing it.
I will be up in a couple of weeks so will see how things are. I spoke to mum too, she was cheerful and said the "little children" had just been in ( from a nearby nursery) which she'd really enjoyed. She didn't mention about going home, and hasn't said anything about this to my sister when she has been in visiting. So all good so far
Hi @anxious annie, it sounds as though your Mum is settling in well and no longer has the anxiety and worry that she had living on her own, I do appreciate what a relief and peace of mind for you and your sister....long may it continue. All the best.
Thanks, Pete, all is still going well and I will update when I visit mum within the fortnight , but am hoping, and more confident now that this will be a permanent move x
Good news. Mum is now permanent at her care home. We just can't believe how well she has settled, we never expected the move to have gone so smoothly. Mum is letting staff help with personal care, whereas when she was at home she wouldn't even let the carers make her a cup of tea!! Perhaps it was because that was her territory? When I went in this weekend she was pleased to see me, and not phased when I said I was going. I'm back home now, but I can still keep in touch through speaking to the home on a weekly basis by phone, updates from my sister and the home "posts" photos and video clips to relatives which is great as I can see mum happy and smiling as she takes part in the activities. I know things will change as she deteriorates in the future, but for now, both my sister and I are pleased and so less stressed .
So pleased to hear it has worked out so well. When the PWD reaches a certain stage it can often be the best answer. I am sure my mother is much happier at the care home that she would have been at home, the carers are lovely, she is waited on hand and foot, doesn't have to worry about anything at all - and she has home-made cake every afternoon!
Morning @anxious annie, really great to hear your Mum has settled well, and seeing it for yourself does give peace of mind. All the best.
Thank you for your posts, Sirena and Pete.