Mum's now mid to late AZ and in a care home for the last 2 years (her own expense). She's doing things she never would have done if left in her flat even with carers and our help. She loved swimming as a young girl and now she goes swimming every week, is part of a walking club, does activities every day is part of a knitting club, and although she does have those moments when seeing me and says "Take me home with you" ... I know she is well cared for and has the 24/7 care I tried, but failed to provide after she kept falling at home and went walkabouts without knowing where she was.
I'm now having to sell her flat but also the contents of her flat.
It's the contents I'm struggling with as she's still alive, and she down-sized several times and before the dementia took hold and carefully wrapped and itemized everything that she wanted to take to her "new" home that never happened because of the dementia.
Because I'm LPA and need to clear her flat so it can be sold to fund her care home fees, I have to itemize everything, put it on an inventory, try and assess value.
As part of that process I have to unwrap everything Mum did, and she put labels on most items (although the labels were wrong).
Has anyone else gone through this and felt really guilty that they are trying to itemize things into what can be given to charity, auction, recycle?
Mum is still living, and it breaks my heart when I unwrap things that she wrapped so carefully over 8 years ago and labelled with things like "Mum's special plate". And I'm going to potentially put it to auction as I live in a 2 bed house and don't have the means to store and take care of such items. As I wrap them back up, I do question myself and think sometimes that maybe Mum might be back to how she was and be annoyed I've got rid of her things albeit to a good place.
Is there anyone else out there that's experienced this? I know Mum won't ever be back to how she was, she probably will never remember any of the things I'm about to sell or give away, but there's a part of me that says "what if she suddenly did remember everything, became her previous self?".
It feels so wrong doing this as this is the sort of thing you would do for someone after they had died but Mum is still living and it almost feels like I'm breaking some kind of religious rule.
I know that I need to get the most money I can to ensure she can stay in her care home but I feel so guilty and emotionally struggle to get my head around this.
These are items that she cared for in her life and loved. But I can't keep them because I don't have a place for them as she had a big house and I have a 2 bed house but I feel so guilty when I see the words "Mum's special ...". and it meant so much to her, has no real financial value but obvious was meaningful to her.
It's harder than I thought getting rid of contents for Mum when she's still alive.
Anyone else experienced this?
I'm now having to sell her flat but also the contents of her flat.
It's the contents I'm struggling with as she's still alive, and she down-sized several times and before the dementia took hold and carefully wrapped and itemized everything that she wanted to take to her "new" home that never happened because of the dementia.
Because I'm LPA and need to clear her flat so it can be sold to fund her care home fees, I have to itemize everything, put it on an inventory, try and assess value.
As part of that process I have to unwrap everything Mum did, and she put labels on most items (although the labels were wrong).
Has anyone else gone through this and felt really guilty that they are trying to itemize things into what can be given to charity, auction, recycle?
Mum is still living, and it breaks my heart when I unwrap things that she wrapped so carefully over 8 years ago and labelled with things like "Mum's special plate". And I'm going to potentially put it to auction as I live in a 2 bed house and don't have the means to store and take care of such items. As I wrap them back up, I do question myself and think sometimes that maybe Mum might be back to how she was and be annoyed I've got rid of her things albeit to a good place.
Is there anyone else out there that's experienced this? I know Mum won't ever be back to how she was, she probably will never remember any of the things I'm about to sell or give away, but there's a part of me that says "what if she suddenly did remember everything, became her previous self?".
It feels so wrong doing this as this is the sort of thing you would do for someone after they had died but Mum is still living and it almost feels like I'm breaking some kind of religious rule.
I know that I need to get the most money I can to ensure she can stay in her care home but I feel so guilty and emotionally struggle to get my head around this.
These are items that she cared for in her life and loved. But I can't keep them because I don't have a place for them as she had a big house and I have a 2 bed house but I feel so guilty when I see the words "Mum's special ...". and it meant so much to her, has no real financial value but obvious was meaningful to her.
It's harder than I thought getting rid of contents for Mum when she's still alive.
Anyone else experienced this?