Care for Parent


Registered User
Mar 22, 2021
Hi. My Mum has Alzhiemer’s and lives in her own home and she has carers.

There used to be a Memory Nurse at her GP surgery but I’ve been told that she no longer works there. My Mum does have regular reviews with her GP.

Instead of the Memory Nurse there is a Care Coordinator. She seems like a nice person and I am sure she is very capable but it seems she is chasing me up about things I can organize myself and I have intended to do along with everything else I have to do.

There seems to be miscommunication as well between her and the GP or she is going back to the GP with what I have told her and the story keeps changing.

They seem eager to fill out a care plan but I have said that my Mum won’t understand the questions and there is already one in place with the care company. Then I hear that the Care Coordinator wants to go round and observe things which just doesn’t sound right to me. Then I hear that she will be going round with the GP regarding my Mum’s care in the future which will probably involve asking her questions for a care plan which she won’t understand.

Anyone else experienced this? Surely I must be able to get access to a Dementia Nurse if need be?

I just wish I could be left alone and not have to deal with things that make me annoyed and stressed


Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
Hi @Misslovely
When was your mum diagnosed? Do they have a note of this in her notes at her GP surgery? Do they have in her notes at the GP surgery that you are your mum's full time carer? And even if they have that doesn't mean they act with common sense!

I care for my OH and have been doing so for 7 years. I remember that the GP surgery got a letter from the doctor at the Memory Clinic, informing them that my OH had mixed Alzheimer's, and we got a copy. The surgery no doubt put the letter in my OH med notes folder. Nevertheless, it took me ages to get the surgery to put a big note on the cover of the folder that she had Alz's and that I was her full time carer. They also had to work out how to put a signal to show this on their electronic computer notes. Finally, when they did that, then they started to freely talk to me about OH's problems and conditions etc instead of keep asking to speak with my OH or to get her consent. You just have plug away, all the time!

But that is not always the end of the matter (or the fun!).

Even so, this year (well last year now), and after all this time, when the District Nurse, by prior arrangement, turned up give OH her covid and flu injections (last autumn), the nurse said she needed to get my OH's consent to the injections, and put this on her form. I asked her who made the arrangement for her to come, and she said the GP. I said that. in that case, GP has already agreed and requested this, as in the patient's interest. Did she (the District Nurse) know my OH had Alz's and was at a stage where she has no capacity to give consent to anything, and wouldn't be able to answer any questions. She said she had a note that my wife has dementia, but was still seeking consent. So (to get confirmation) she tried to phone the GP surgery! Of course, like everyone else, she couldn't get an answer, She agreed to go ahead with the jabs. It was like going round in circles and hitting your head on a brick wall! That's the fun!

So @Misslovely , it is in my opinion, no good saying they should leave you alone, but instead you need to plug away until the GP surgery get the message that your mum has a care plan, that it's working for now until it needs review.; that they make a note of it and that they should speak with you about matters. Good luck.