Nursing home


New member
Nov 11, 2021
Hi, just wondered if anyone had any experience with having to move relative from care home to nursing home. Mum has Alzheimer’s and been in care home for nearly 3 years. She suffers from really high anxiety which obviously is 100x worse with the Alzheimer’s. About 6 weeks ago she started having psychotic episodes where she has attacked people and trashed her room. The home have called an ambulance 3x as they haven’t been able to cope. Meds are trying to be sorted but as you can imagine there is no such thing as an urgent referral. The last 2 hospital visits someone mentioned that she needs to be in a nursing home and to be honest I think that may be right for mum now. Mum is no longer self funding so I’m assuming social workers will need to be involved. Does anyone know if we get any say in what nursing home she goes to or will it be a case of the cheapest one to suit her needs? I’ve heard stories where relatives have been placed 40 miles away and I just don’t know what I’d do if that happened as I’m working full time and still have 2 children at home. Thank you


Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
Hello @Hingsp123 sorry to hear about your mum, I hope that medication can be found that helps, although sometimes it can take a while to find the right medication/dosage. With regards to moving to a nursing home, as your mum is not self-funded then yes, social services will be involved if a move is needed. The first thing that will be needed is an assessment of your mum's needs so it's probably a good idea to speak to the manager of your mum's care home about this, and they may well have already been in touch with social services if they are finding it difficult to cope with your mum. Once the assessment has been completed the local authority will look at which homes can meet your mum's care needs and is within their budget. They should offer you at least one care home which is suitable for your mum's needs and you should hopefully get an opportunity to visit all options that are available. As to whether there will be a suitable home locally or not, this will very much depend on the level/type of care that your mum needs and also availability. We had to move mum from one care home to another a couple of months ago and although the position was a little easier, as mum is self-funding, it was still quite difficult to find a home that met her needs and also had vacancies, and we did have to end up moving mum a little bit further away, although not as far as 40 miles.

I think the best thing to do is speak to the current care home manager, get social services involved and discuss your situation with them after the assessment has been carried out. It may be that there are suitable placements available locally so try not to worry at the moment about your mum being placed miles away as it may not happen.


Registered User
Feb 6, 2024
My mother is self funding. I struggled to find a local dementia nursing home .


Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
My experience was five years ago. Once it was decided that The Banjoman need residential care the LA put his case out to tender i.e. any care homes who had space and thought he fitted their criteria for care put in a bid to take him. All were in the same area, within 20 miles of his home. I enquired about him going nearer his family, about 20 miles in the opposite direction and under a different LA but was told it was unlikely.
Members of his family and I looked at the three places that were offered and once we agreed on one, a member of staff went to visit him to check that they could cope with him. Once that was done he was moved within a couple of days.

The LA may have a list of homes that they “use” but the final decision is up to the care home manager as to whether or not they can cope with the needs of each prospective patient.

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Registered User
Jun 19, 2022
If the correct meds can be found she may not need to move. My mum had a similar episode a while ago, trashed her room, aggitated, having a go at people. She was referred to the Mental Health Team who prescribed meds which calmed her down and she became more settled again. I do appreciate that referral times vary a lot though. But don't lose hope till they've tried these things - maybe push them to get on with it.


Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
My mum had to move from and EMI home to a nursing home, it was all quite traumatic at the time but she is well cared for and content now. The fact that there is 24 hr nursing care on duty is very comforting and on the few occasions mum has been ill ,they have been able to manage it all in house. We have been luck in that a space became a for her in a home about 10 minutes away from me , it was one of two homes who would be able to accommodate her. So that just shows it’s about what is available as well as costs. As @Louise7 has said,speak with everyone concerned so that you have a clear understanding of what will happen next.


Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
You will probably get very little say - the places that can a) Meet her needs and b) have space will be limited.
You will probably get a choice of .....1 ......
Its hard, be somewhere that can meet her needs, is better than somewhere that cant but is easy for us to get to