SS will try to 'guilt trip' you so you will need to be strong and keep saying no and remind them that they have the duty of care not you. I hope that all goes well for you.
Left to fight on my own
- Thread starter tryingtobesuperwoman
- Start date
I've read it back and, you're right, the dates make no sense, hard to concentrate at the moment.
After the June 2020 stroke he was placed on DOLS as he kept trying to leave the hospital. Following a time at a rehabilitation centre (also under DOLS) he came home in September 2020.
He had a further stroke in September 2022, where the consultant referred him to the memory clinic as his memory had significantly worsened. We met his first CPN in the new year 2023.
Forward to April 2023 when I came home from walking the dog. He said he had taken an overdose and 'want to be dead'. Some words just stick with you.
Ambulance came and took him to A&E. He was discharged home in the early hours followed by a visit from mental health workers. They said he should be admitted due to his presentation but a Social Worker on the phone believed he had capacity after a 2 minute call. I was advised by the mental health worker to take him myself and a bed would be waiting when we arrived. She would be discussing it with her manager as she wasn't in agreement with the Social Worker. It seems a common thread, in a very short space of time all involved Social Workers, so far, deem him to have capacity. He was high functioning though.
He was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, where, after 28 days, he was subject to Section 3, triggering S117. His allocated CPN, at the discharge meeting, said there wasn't enough support put in place. OH then started to receive 6 hours support a week with a personal assistant. Looking back, I was so naive, I also gave up my job to care for him 24/7. There was very little help. Thankfully, I have been offered my old job back and am waiting for a start date.
This is the 2nd emergency respite since Christmas. Now I've had some time to reflect at home I've realised how hard it's been. I do not want to go back to that. His behaviour in our small 1 bedroom bungalow has meant I've walked on eggshells not to upset him. He hasn't been physically abusive but he slams doors, shouts and takes himself to bed for days, not eating or taking his medication. I sleep on the sofa, but then that angers him too.
Now the new Social Worker says, as he says he wants to go home, they can't legally stop him as we own the home jointly. I'm waiting for my GP and his consultant to ring tomorrow to get their views. I need to be prepared for this meeting as all hell will break loose, especially if I have the responsibility to tell him he's not coming home.
I really think I have done enough and am prepared to go to court if needed. It's just so upsetting, not being able to eat properly, I've lost 7 stones since last November. I don't want to live this way, I need a life.
Hi sorry for your experience and sorry I can’t give you advice I’ve been diagnosed with vascular dementia and to be honest I’m getting really scared with all the stuff I read sorry again I can’t give you any advice x
Hello @Johnmc65. I'm sorry you've been diagnosed. From my understanding ithe condition affects people in different ways. What affects one person may not occur in another. I hope you have support. There are many people in the forum that have lots of experience, it can help to post and seek advice when you need it. Take care.
Hi @Johnmc65 My step daughter’s stepfather developed vascular dementia following a quite severe stroke. He still managed (despite almost complete left side paralysis) to have 12 good years, when he continued to regularly visit a son in Canada and another in the UK, go on other holidays, continue singing in a make voice choir and doing other things he enjoyed. One person’s experience is not another’s. Do not under estimate the power of positive thinking and the desire to just get on and make the best of the life you have. Wishing you the very very best.
My god I know I’ve got a lot ahead of me I’ve been waiting to hear that for a long time positive thinking and liv life to the full thank you for your positive words
👍😄I highly recommend lots of laughter, find new things to do to replace ones you can’t do anymore.
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