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A new stage in my life...................

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Grannie G, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,361
    So pleased that you have booked Launde Abbey. We are going to visit a Care Home with the idea of respite, but also in case emergency care is needed. My health is pretty complicated, so it is for my peace of mind.
    I agree it is important to do as much as you can while you can. I have found and interesting form, some of us are subscribers to Richard Rohr. So food food the heart! Thank you for your support I appreciate it so much. Xxx
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    This is so good Alice. If you were unfortunate enough to need emergency care at least your mind would be less troubled.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    I had a phone call from Kings College this afternoon.

    It was in connection with monitoring the ageing process of healthy brains and eventual brain donation on death. I have been part of this study since 2008 or 2009.

    Both my husband and I started this study together. His was the brain affected by dementia and mine is as I said above.

    Dhiren had the tests until his first year in residential care, when they stopped testing. I`ve continued to be tested regularly and the next test is on Tuesday.

    All part of research.
     
  4. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,361
    It sounds hopeful research. Looking around it seems so random at the moment. Clever, thoughtful fit people can succumb.
    A lovely volunteer driver took us to Care Home to visit as it possibly would be the answer to respite. It could be the answer to long term if there is only one to consider. With two sets of needs there may be problems as it is out of county, so our funds would be stretched too far.
    It has given peace of mind, as you said Sylvia, as my husband liked the place, the staff were happy with each other and attentive to the residents. The driver turned out to be familiar with care home settings from a previous job and he noticed the ethos. He said the place ticked all the boxes.
    Our daughter has taken on fully that if I am unavailable she would be unable to take over and that this place is a possibility.
    I may have to shift some medical appointments so a respite break can be arranged, we have so many between us. My husband said he would like it to be a holiday for both of us, unfortunately the SC studio will not be available but I was offered a quiet back room in the house. Not really sure but it would give me a fly on the wall experience!
    So now I can face my next medical procedure with the knowledge there is a support plan in place in a dire emergency.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    Good news on all fronts Alice. To have something in place for respite, even provision for you to be a fly on the wall, the approval of your driver and your husband, and the support from your daughter in an emergency . All good.

    I hope it doesn`t happen that you will need these contingencies but it must be reassuring to know they are in place.

    It`s good to know everyone is trying all over the world. My granddaughter is doing Neuroscience at Manchester University and her study this year has been Dementia and Diabetes .
     
  6. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,361
    Yes, however tough situations get I am always overwhelmed by people's kindness, also the people that come into ones life when needed.
    I wish your granddaughter great success in her work.
    I have read a few books lately about neuroscientists exploration of consciousness and how they have had to rethink.
    I am in the process of deciding to re arrange a medical appointment so as to fit in a respite. My husband is calling it a holiday that we can do together. So this once I think I may go along with it then he will be happier to go on his own. It has a beautiful well kept garden and because of the ethos even honours Quaker silence before lunch.
    I have spent today ringing up the places in the county but they are no cheaper, so I hope there maybe a direct payment to help.
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    I have a lovely day ahead for which I`m grateful.

    First I will be meditating at the Quaker House with the Buddhist Group, then I`ll take myself out for lunch and finally enjoy the Dickens Festival at the seaside.

    I have no problem lunching out when alone but still have not been able to dine out alone.

    It`s an absolutely gorgeous day.

    I`ve just realised this Thread has a misnomer for a title now it is five and a half years old. I wonder if I should start a new Thread called `Carry on living`:)
     
  8. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,443
    Female
    Dundee
    Your day sounds lovely Sylvia. The Dickens festival sounds like something I would love! I have no problems eating out alone either. I don't often have dinner out alone but like you I've lunched out alone.

    Your idea of a thread title sounds really appropriate. It's what I'm trying to do. I'll be interested to see if you start anew thread. I find I don't often post on my Some Days Are Diamonds thread now. Mind you it remains true fir me that some days are diamonds and some days are stone.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    Thanks Izzy. I`m not sure whether to start a new Thread or simply reply to others and join in the weekly Chat Thread more often. For now I`ll do nothing.

    I had a lovely time out. I didn`t have lunch because everywhere was packed but did manage to find a table to have an ice cream sundae.

    I walked down with the parade from the Town Hall and include some photos. You will see Queen Victoria in her splendid carriage pulled by two plumed horses. You will see the activity on the green and the Hurdy Gurdy Man.
    IMG_1497.jpg IMG_1501.jpg IMG_1503.jpg IMG_1508.jpg IMG_1509.jpg IMG_1510.jpg IMG_1522.jpg IMG_1528.jpg IMG_1530.jpg
     
  10. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,443
    Female
    Dundee
    Brilliant photos Sylvia. It looks like a lovely day.
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    Thanks Izzy. It was lovely but very crowded.
     
  12. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,361
    Sounded a super day. Sundae looked good too. You, Izzy and others are doing so well. This is applauding not decrying the effort it it must take. The pictures are lovely. My imagination take me there. X
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    Thank you Alice. When are you going away?
     
  14. sunray

    sunray Registered User

    Sep 21, 2008
    1,424
    Female
    East Coast of Australia
    Sylvia, I have no trouble having lunch out alone but do feel different about dining out alone. I have couple of widowed women friends who don't seem to have that problem but their careers included travelling, mine didn't. I do have dinner out as part of a couple of groups though so I do go out at night occasionally. If anything I am less brave than I was when I first became a widow but that is because I had many night trips to help the nursing home staff bring Ray out of the seizures. Once he was gone the night driving no longer was a priority.
     
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    We just have to manage as well as we can Sue. I don`t drive which doesn`t help night time outings.
     
  16. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,443
    Female
    Dundee
    I’m trying to decide whether I should be brave and book a night away on the 3rd anniversary of Bill’s death. A hotel in Pitlochry does a theatre package and has single rooms. I’ve chickened out slightly and asked a friend if she wants to come. She’ll let me know this pm. I think I’ll go either way. She’s the only one I’d want to share it with so if she can’t go I think I will go solo.
     
  17. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    I hope whatever happens will be right for you Izzy.

    If you have someone close enough to share this anniversary with, good.

    If you can do it alone and away from home, very brave.

    I doubt any decision will make it less sorrowful whatever the distractions but you know what`s best for you and you haven`t done badly so far.
     
  18. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,443
    Female
    Dundee
    Thank you Sylvia. I wish she’d let me know if she can come! I’ve decided I’ll go on my own if she can’t.
     
  19. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,395
    Kent
    All power to you Izzy.
     
  20. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,443
    Female
    Dundee
    :)
     
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